I *really* need to get my bike going

[jrandom]

I had a Motorcycling Dream last night.

I dreamed I had a Rocket III, an XB9R and a VFR800 (no idea why the VFR) in the backyard (naturally I'd borrowed them all from the shop for some reason, couldn't pay for them, and was going to take them back the next day, but I digress).

I dreamed I took the Rocket for a ride. It was wonderful. I don't know why I chose the Rocket, but never mind.

I realised as I woke up that I will never be able to live without a bike. Half an hour later, sitting here at my kitchen table drinking instant coffee, I still have a slight achy feeling of sadness that I won't be riding a motorcycle today.

Now, I'm not likely to have enough cash to buy a Proper Bike for some time. But I never have those dreams while I'm *riding* the FXR. This is after only a week of being without.

Anyone else had the same experience?

[Antallica]

Yep. Was without for a month, fucked me right off.

[Riff Raff]

Yep. Was without for a month, fucked me right off.

Try 8 years. Always felt there was something fundamentally wrong in my life until I got myself back on a bike.

[manuboy]

Its the lows that make the highs.

[Motu]

When you were riding the Rocket 111,did you notice you had no clothes on? We all saw,and were laughing at you when you went past.

[Two Smoker]

When you were riding the Rocket 111,did you notice you had no clothes on? We all saw,and were laughing at you when you went past.

LMAO

[erik]

nope, but I have dreamed that I was good at wheelies... *sighs*

What's wrong with your fxr? Is it still the electrical fault from before when it was raining?

[jrandom]

When you were riding the Rocket 111,did you notice you had no clothes on? We all saw,and were laughing at you when you went past.

I distinctly remember wearing a tasselled leather jacket.

I may not have been wearing anything *else*, though.

And yes, it's the same electrical problem. Kerry of Motohaus was supposed to pick the bike up last week but he didn't... I'm assuming he lost my address and phone number. I haven't gotten around to calling him again this week, I must do so today. Note that my lack of attention is rather more due to other pressing matters and general listlessness than any low priority assigned to the bike.

[vifferman]

Anyone else had the same experience?

Nope. But I had a nightmare this morning.
I dreamed I was riding a gutless POS, with a 2 HP lawnmower engine, pieces of rust held together by paint and stickers, bicycle brakes, and suspension stolen off some kid's toy. No wait - it was a kid's toy, one that had been severely thrashed then left to languish outside, neglected, in the sandpit. And I was forced to ride this nightmarish mare along the motorway to work, while everybody laughed as they passed me, except the other motorcyclists, to whom I was completely invisible, the lowest of the low.

And then I realised, this nightmare was in fact a waking nightmare, and I was in fact living this cruel experience.


Oh cruel fate! Oh vengeful and capricious biker gods!

Thy name is Suzuki Volty!

Yup. Sad but true...

Took the beautiful VFR800 (probably the same one that JR was admiring in his dream backyard) in to have a few 'niggles' put right, and they gave me the (un)spritely Volty as punishment, as if buying a bike from Rogues Inc. wasn't punishment enough...

I truly feel sorry for all you poor, poor bastids that have to put up with riding one of these truly awful 'machines'. It's supposedly a 250, but I'm guessing it's closer to 2 than 50. The VFR is allegedly 110hp, so this thing must be in the negative HP realm, as it felt like it had at least 110HP less. Where did all the horsies go? It's been a very long time since I've ridden anything so truly crapulous, and with such imperceptibly immeasurable acceleration. My mind said, "Well... it must be accelerating, because we're no longer at a standstill..?" but there was no perceptible speed increase at all. None. Nada. Zip.

Perfect, in fact, for riding in peak-hour D'Auckland traffic. Because it developed 0.00000250 HP at peak revs (whatever the hell they are), it used almost no fuel at all, I'd imagine. And most of what it did consume, it converted almost entirely into lawnmower-engine noise, with a smaller amount becoming heat and bum-numbing vibration, and a modest amount serving to rotate the rear wheel. Perfect. Just pharking perfect. Luckily, it was fairly light, so it was easily swept along in the draft of other vehicles.

Other features on this Stellar Steed:

• The latest Bounce-O-Matic™ springing (no damping provided nor required).
• Different tones of LawnmowerNoiseEmulation™ available via a handy foot-operated lever, and modulated by an easy-to-use rotating grip.
• NoseDive-O-MaticChassisAttitudeAngleAdjust™ initiated via hand-operated lever conveniently located adjacent to the LawnmowerNoiseModulation™ control.
• Modern streamlined 'bullet' confirminators.
• Whizz-O-Matic™ electrical starting button instantly activates the LawnmowerNoiseModulation™ and other functions.
• Carefully-crafted EvilDoerRepel™ finish and fittings simulate 37 years of ghetto survival, and repels any would-be thives or vandals: "Oh look - a bike; let's trash it! Wait - someone's already beaten us to it! "
  Various colours of ColourOfYour Nightmares™ paint finish and WreckersYardReject™ fittings are available as options.
• Grip-O-Matic™ wheels: stay firmly attached to the road surface during the most extreme manouevres.
• SafelyDoesIt™ rider protection prohibits any dangerous manouevres, such as acceleration, leaning over in corners, or sudden braking.
• Bumgrabber™ seat cushion simulates a comfortable seat, prevents the rider from moving fore, aft or to either side, and rapidly soothes the riders aftward regions into blissful numbness, preventing any naughty thoughts, unnecessary movement of limbs, or other undesirable activity.

It was an Experience.
Rather more awful than expected, and I'm not looking forward to the return journey, as I have SeriousDoubts™ as to the ability of the Snotty? Ralphy? Vomitty? to reach motorway speeds, or to slow down in time if it does reach escape velocity. :confused2
Still, I have a few hours in which to GirdMyLoins, SummonCourage, and otherwise prepare myself for the next saga....

[Mr Skid]

I had a dream a couple of nights back that I was riding a gsxr600 and was pulling wheelies off the throttle.

I think it may have been because earlier that evening I pulled a short clutched up wheelie on a motorway off ramp on the way back from stunting practice.

[Blakamin]

Thy name is Suzuki Volty!

How long are you stuck with that for?

[vifferman]

How long are you stuck with that for?

Only this morning, thank goodness.

Why Oh why was I so bad?


I hereby publicly repent of all my evil-doing.



D'ya think that will save me from further punishment? :spudwhat:

[duckman]

I'm always having dreams about being able to pull the longest wheelies, while turning corners, jumping mono's e.t.c.

Pity, in real life I cant

[NC]

I distinctly remember wearing a tasselled leather jacket.

I may not have been wearing anything *else*, though.

.

[MikeL]

You're an ungrateful bastard, Firestormer! Whoever Rogues Inc are they at least gave you two wheels to get to work on...