Gramatically impared...HELP

[Ixion]

'I' before 'E', except after 'C'

And before G.

Weird rule.

[Hitcher]

Weird rule.

It's always worked for me.

[Ixion]

It's always worked for me.

Look again.

[martybabe]

Look again.

Eight times weird.

[merv]

What's up with getting educated now Drew, is it to be better than your brothers, or to stand for Parliament or are you just doing it to piss Idle off and you're (not your as some say on here) going to stand for MNZ?

I won't say too much about the English, though I am married to a languages teacher, because I trained as a professional engineer and mathematics and sciences were more important to guys like me.

Anyway, do you want me to put Mrs merv on to you?

p.s. you said you are OK with spelling, but you could always spell impaired right instead of impared.

[Drew]

What's up with getting educated now Drew, is it to be better than your brothers, or to stand for Parliament or are you just doing it to piss Idle off and you're (not your as some say on here) going to stand for MNZ?

I won't say too much about the English, though I am married to a languages teacher, because I trained as a professional engineer and mathematics and sciences were more important to guys like me.

Anyway, do you want me to put Mrs merv on to you?

p.s. you said you are OK with spelling, but you could always spell impaired right instead of impared.

Have you read one of Lukes posts? The boy must have iron lungs with the length of his sentances.

Na, I have no intention of ataining powerfull position.

I said I was OK with spelling, not perfect.

[ynot slow]

E b4 I cept afta Y.

[cowpoos]

Ok then, the title pretty much says it all, but I'll elaborate a touch more on what I need...

I would like please, for anyone who can remember when they were taught this stuff, to post some of the rules of grammer, and punctuation.

I ask because I am slowly getting better at this typing caper, and would rather not have to re-learn anything at a later stage.

Cheers in advance

Ps, be gentle Hitcher, you'll have to slow things down for my feeble mind.

your moms a teacher you dumb shit!!! and your older brother knows everything...accourding to himn anyway...athough riff raff has another take on this?? and you still a dumb shit...and luke is short and going bald!!

Hi Vicki bum!!!!

I'm running out of beer!!

[scracha]

I would like please, for anyone who can remember when they were taught this stuff, to post some of the rules of grammer, and punctuation.

You'd best post on a forum based in a land that speaks English wot wot

[Drew]

You'd best post on a forum based in a land that speaks English wot wot

Some kiwis know the rules bro, but as a rule we're a lazy bunch and dont apply them.

[Okey Dokey]

Grammar and punctuation are an aid to clarity, not an end in themselves. Good on you for trying to get it right, but I don't think you should get too hung up on the rules. Things like sentence fragments may be incorrect, but they are generally clear. It could even be argued that it is a "conversational" style of writing. Kb is a forum site, and you don't need to use report-style writing on it.

that being said there are obvious problems when users fail to observe some of the more basic structures of the english language and just bang away typing whatever they are thinking n smtmes dscnendin int txt gibbrsh w no capitals orspces or periodsetc who canb botherd to try n red ths stuff

Good luck in achieving your goal.

[Sanx]

Drew. There's very little wrong with your grammar. As someone pointed out, it's a very long way above the KB baseline standard, which is positively subterranean.

Just to complicate things a little further, as a language evolves, grammatical rules evolve too. The pedant's favourite grammatical commandment, "Thou shalt not split an infinitive", is a perfect example. My mother, formerly Professor of English at one of the London universities, hates people doing it which is probably as a result of her schooling where splitting an infinitive resulted in a rap over the knuckles. Historically, there seems to be little reason behind this particular rule other than the desire of early grammarians to make the rules of English match those of Latin, supposedly a 'pure' language. In Latin, the inifinitive form of a verb is a single word so early grammarians, who went to the ridiculous extreme of writing their books on English grammar in Latin, decided that because one cannot split an infinitive in Latin, one should not be able to split an infinitive in English. But I digress...

And ten pedant-points to those that can spot the grammatical mistake in that last sentence.

And that one.

OK, I'll stop.

There are some good books on English grammar, though most of them are rather old. Otto Jespersen's A Modern English Grammar, despite no longer being that modern given that is was published in 1909, is well-written and relatively undaunting to read. Bill Bryson's Mother Tongue is a very entertaining read and has a large section devoted to English grammar, albeit from a perspective of studying how the English language has evolved. If you can find a modern copy of Robert Lowth's A Short Introduction to English Grammar, it's also well worth a read. Despite being published in 1762, it was in constant use in schools until the early twentieth centrury, and therefore has a direct influence on how modern English in constructed.

The purpose of the rules is to make the language being used universally understood. Because of this (or should that be "Due to this"...) the most important rule to follow is to make the meaning of whatever it is you're trying to say clear. Re-read sentences and word them in such a way that you avoid ambiguity and constructions that, when read out loud, sound ugly. Arguing over whether it's right or wrong to split an infinitive or if one can end a sentence in a preposition is all very well, but the primary purpose of whatever it is that you're writing is to convey a meaning. Grammatical mores should be a means to that end, not an impediment.

[Drew]

And ten pedant-points to those that can spot the grammatical mistake in that last sentence.

And that one.

Ironically (sp), the last bit shares an error with the second sentence you wanted to know the problem with... I think... I hope... Or I am learning nothing.

[Okey Dokey]

BTW, I learned the rule as:

"I before E except after C, or when sounding like A as in neighbour or weigh"

[Sanx]

BTW, I learned the rule as:

"I before E except after C, or when sounding like A as in neighbour or weigh"

Always thought that rule was weird.