BMW R1150GS - tell me all

[Banesto John]

Ya might as well get one, BMW owners pray a lot:

• "Please God, stop those KTM's passing me and making me wet mine undergarments....."
• "Please God, don't let that noise be another drive shaft spline..."
• "Please God make me look as cool as Ewen & Charlie..."
• "Please God make me as rich as Mammon, so as I may afford to purchase the incredibly overpriced BMW accessories..."

Amen.

Bless me father for I have sinned. I have worn BMW riding pants for a long time (taking them off for cleaning etc), and often marvelled at the quality of the knee armour.

I now know this is aimed at the texture of the BMW prayer mat, which I have found on the internet. The mat appears coarse, and would damage plain trousers. I'm advised that this is the off-road prayer mat, and comes as an option only on the GS models. You have to send BMW Motorrad your VIN number so they know you have a GS before they will send out your prayer mat.

Of course, for road bike riders, on the website there is a link to the on-road prayer mat, one which is significantly smoother. This is designed for use with normal riding gear. It comes standard on the K1200RS (oooo eerrrrr), as you have to pray for forgiveness for excessive speed on those. The road version is far more metro-sexual.

Perversely, I am thinking that the on road prayer mat could lead to fatalities as believers are mowed down while praying. A thing to avoid, I suggest.

[BM-GS]

With respect (and a long delay, sorry) my first personal experience with "nana-ish" BMW riders was flippin' scary. I was taking advantage of a generous paid-for-by BMW 2-day test ride around Devon & Cornwall (in Pomgolia) with a bunch of BMW owners who looked genteel & respectable on the outside, but who had realised that many of their steeds, especially the white-ish tourer ones, look a lot like police bikes at first glance. Using this fact to their advantage, they terrorised the other users of the very narrow Cornish country lanes (about 1.5 cars wide, climb the bank to pass) by hooning around at double-the-limit speeds and basically bulldozing all the other traffic out of the way.

After 2 days of that it was a shock to find it didn't work quite the same on my ZZR-600!

After buying the GS, I added some extra driving lamps to light up corners on the long winter evening commutes and I found them very effective at clearing a path through the traffic-snarled numpties trapped in their tin boxes. Lots of lights usually means cops and a wave for those who make an effort to speed me on my way might encourage them to do it again. And impersonating a landing Jumbo-jet does clear a path through traffic quite well...

[_Shrek_]

Actually, BMW riders are generally too nana-ish to lane split, so it's not an issue.

maybe i should take off my badge's so people wont know it's a BM thats lane spliting