1962 Safety Rules from Honda

**Wolf** · 11th March 2005, 10:24

Originally Posted by TonyB

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

Personally I prefer "When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, lean on your horn so it screams like a lost soul and express by word of mouth, warning Do that again you stupid mofo and I'll smack your farking lights out! Get off the road, you low-life twat!" I also like applying it to cagers.

Road Rage? Who, me? I'm merely an expressive kinda guy...

**Coldkiwi** · 11th March 2005, 12:31

Originally Posted by Wolf

Personally I prefer "When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, lean on your horn so it screams like a lost soul and express by word of mouth, warning Do that again you stupid mofo and I'll smack your farking lights out! Get off the road, you low-life twat!" I also like applying it to cagers.

Road Rage? Who, me? I'm merely an expressive kinda guy...

Ho boy- I had an expressive moment like that when I made the mistake of trying to get down Albert St between the Auck Uni lib and the Quad. The lack of road sense of students there is only second to recent immigrants from asia when they cross roads (not being racist- just observing trends when driving around the CBD).
Traffic is gridlocked... students make sue of gaps between cars to cross (fine)
Traffic starts to move at the front, students keep making use of moving gaps (getting a bit dangerous)
Traffic is now all moving with narrow gaps and students are STILL walking out in front of cars that have to stop while they stand on the lane marker. Fecking arrogant eejits got a piece of my mind as I went past.

**Krayy** · 11th March 2005, 13:00

Sounds like its time for a group trawl through http://www.engrish.com

My grandad had a mechanics manual from the 1920's that had an amazing chapter on how to drive "one of them new-fangled automobile thingys" that had some classic instructions like 'Find yourself a quiet road and practice driving down the centre of the road. Be sure to bring some draft horses who can pull it out of the ditches when you lose control".

Hmmm...

**SPORK** · 29th March 2005, 19:21

If I can find it, I will post the BEST engrish ever seen. And I have the ORIGIONAL hard copy! Taken from a knock off of a RC brand. It's so awesome. I shall now search

**SPORK** · 29th March 2005, 19:26

Well, that didn't take long... Here is the first part, aptly titled: "The Explain"

"To pay attention to

Please parent must read

Inside contain small spare parts, and please not to put the entrance inside, and then order to prevevntresult [sic] in the asphyxiation.

For avoid dangerous, the absoluteness can't give not the full and 3 years old child swim to play.

Please not in the raod wait the dangerous place to swim to play.

Please not the antenna to hang on the neck, the in order to prevent result in the asphyxiation.

Falsely be to using antenninang [sic] may result in dangerous, the absoluteness can't give not the full and 3 years olf child swim to play."

If anyone wants me to continue, I have about 4 pages of this, it's bloody aweosme!

**MiXeR** · 11th August 2005, 01:36

I noticed nobody has replied yet, but since I've only just registered, and first thing is humor on my list (one can't just cry 'cause he's not riding) please continue, if you can still find the manual after all these months.

**Pixie** · 11th August 2005, 02:38

Originally Posted by Motu

I am the skid demon,go smoothly on my greased mud.

Is that similar to going like a greased weasel?

**Beemer** · 11th August 2005, 09:24

Sounds like it was written by the same people who wrote the RG150 manual - one of my favourites was "to start the engine, deprese the kick etefter lever frocatully". Another beauty was "In order to ride a motorcycle properly, one should sit right so that he or she can control the motorcycle easily. This helps the rider feel comfortable and keep him or her away from the accident. Hips - sit in a position that dose not cause the sore on your shoulders and arms. Hands - hold the handles perfectly. Feet - place your feet in the middle of the pillion bar horisontally."

When changing gear - "shilt inio first gear by slowing the throttle grip toward you slowly to move forward the motorcycle. Shilt th next higher gear to obtain higher speed."

The battery one was great - "when the battery is almost empty noticed by the horn, making no sound, tunning lights do not flash, take your motorcycle to the center for battery check and recharge. Battery poles are right: + red, - black. Tighten them with nuts."

I think my favourite was the section on Speed and Sight. "The ability of human sight is around 200 when being still but when we move with a high speed, the eye sight will be narrowed. So the rider should pay a particular attention on a road, road signs, and traffic lights. The increased speed will make the sight around unclear whereas the distante sight can be seen clearly. So, the rider should look for away when riding in a high speed in oder to see in a wider radius."

And as for utter nonsense: "Front wheel and rear wtheel should be chacked, the wheelshoudnave conect pressuve, adequate =tread depth and hava no crack or cuts. Check ront brareoil hose and leaking."

Best bit of entertainment I'd had in a long time when I found that gem under the seat!

**Lou Girardin** · 11th August 2005, 10:12

Go soothingly near the tax demon, for he makes sport with the licence eating dog.

**scumdog** · 11th August 2005, 11:09

I've got the lot (as per TonBs post #1) hanging in the office, it's the standard training we get for high speed pursuits!!!!

You try 'tootling with vigour while the sportive dog causes the speed demon to cause the collapse and entanglement'!!! while chasing somebody

**TonyB** · 11th August 2005, 11:13

Originally Posted by Lou Girardin

Go soothingly near the tax demon, for he makes sport with the licence eating dog.

Now THAT was brilliant!

**Smorg** · 11th August 2005, 12:22

Confusha say

**terbang** · 7th June 2007, 15:19

HOW TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES

1962 Safety Rules from Honda

Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Instruction Book. Translated by
Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass
him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you
pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go smoothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway.
Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
Press the brake foot as you roll around the corners, and save the
collapse and tie up.

**Maha** · 7th June 2007, 15:31

Originally Posted by terbang

2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn
trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage,
tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

How polite we all must have been in 62'....
Any obstacles in my passage these days are easliy passed, all it takes is a stiff caffine mixture and a cigarette of the mild kind....im as regular as the next man...