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Thread: Noobie mistakes - you name them

  1. #61
    Join Date
    18th February 2005 - 10:16
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    CT110 Super Cub - postie bike
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    Christchurch
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mom View Post
    You are that old??
    Yep. Fossilised almost. Without giving too much away, back then in 1979 I was 19.
    Grow older but never grow up

  2. #62
    Join Date
    19th October 2007 - 19:03
    Bike
    BMWR1100RS,
    Location
    Taranaki
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    1,584
    Always looking for somewhere to ride my DT125 off road, I came across a flooded field and went for a ride round in the shallows. I was having the time of my life, buzzing in and out of the water, felt like a real adventure rider.

    The reason this field was flooded when none of the others were, had not even crossed my mind, as me and the old DT sank beneath the surface with barely a ripple ............................. Yes we found the river that had burst it's banks. Glug glug farking glug, it dawned on me that winter hadn't entirely released it's grip on England's waterways just yet as the icy water sloshed in through my visor hole.

    Here's a tip for ya friends. If you ever find yourself atop a bike as it's sinking to a river bed a couple of metres below, LET GO! mmkay, yes I know it's your bike but you will end up drownded and that's not terribly clever now is it.
    Oh bugger

  3. #63
    Join Date
    21st July 2008 - 22:51
    Bike
    2011 Suzuki M109RZ
    Location
    Auckland
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    248
    I think it might've been Dangerous Bastards post that made me laugh most.. but I had already read the one with the wet concrete driveway! I had seen that petrol station vid before too, it's excellent!! Heaps of good stories here.. similar to a 'stupid things you have done while working on your car' thread on some other forums, people hurt themselves in amusing ways.

    A few years ago my OLDER brother woke me up early one morning, panicing cause he couldn't start my mums car and he had to go to work. I instantly knew what it was.. the power steering had pumped itself against the steering lock (I've had to help numerous other people with this problem too.. always an unimpressed laugh from me)

    When I was 17 I drove my Commodore over a curb that I thought was just a couple of inches, turned out it was a couple of feet, it bellied out and we spent atleast an hour trying to tow it back up the curb. A car load of guys in an identical car ended up stopping (the bastards didn't stop the first few times they went past) and it took about 6 of us to push the front of the car up while my dad gave his clutch hell to tow it out.

  4. #64
    Join Date
    11th September 2008 - 00:40
    Bike
    2000 Suzuki TL1000R
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    Christchurch
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    294

    Pulled up

    Outside an ATM in Te Rapa,Hamilton on me Gixxer 11,no-one around,sweet,so leaned over to put me eftpos card in...leaned,leaned then boom...200 plus kgs of bike on the ground,and it was a Saturday evening,all of a sudden 2 carloads of drunken yobs turned up...how I picked that bike so fast and without a struggle is still a mystery to me!

  5. #65
    Join Date
    13th June 2008 - 22:29
    Bike
    Suzuki Gixxer 250RR Red/Black
    Location
    Dunedin, New Zealand
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    180
    Ok here's my stuff:
    1st accident:
    Back in the days riding my 50cc in Vietnam. Was in main st, HoT As HELL, and dusty(and no helmet law btw), stop-n-start traffic. My nose suddenly itch and ATCHOO, rip up my gas and #$*&% into the hide of the scooter in front . The lady was not impressed, keep saying sorry

  6. #66
    Join Date
    13th June 2008 - 22:29
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    Suzuki Gixxer 250RR Red/Black
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    Dunedin, New Zealand
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    2nd stuff: Got my first car, it was fun, a Black Mazda Mx-6 coupe. Couldn't wait, so I took it for a drive around the block behind Sky City. Been driving around for 5 mins and I smelled something burning, found out it was my HAND BRAKE!?!?! . Anyway, took it up a slopey traffic light. A Mr on bike was right next to me in the front, he didn't look at me *luckily*. The light went green and he went straight, I turned right and was horrified to see the right-turning light was still red . He didn't see me lol.

    Ps Now I blame L-plate and Girlie drivers

  7. #67
    Join Date
    13th June 2008 - 22:29
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    Suzuki Gixxer 250RR Red/Black
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    Dunedin, New Zealand
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    180
    3rd fix:
    Had to oil change my car, DIY 1st time. As you know, there's a 1st for everything rite?
    Anywho, piled up a few pieces of wood under the tyres and drive it up, and block it from rolling. Changed the Oil, (It was a horrid but job well done ), and it was dark already.

    Behind the car was the left outer wall of garage. Took the blocker off and climbed into it, released the brake, and put on 1st gear, somehow the car slide back and made a dull *thud* into the wall . Dent it in 3 planks. LoL, had to fix it. Lesson learned.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    26th January 2004 - 21:09
    Bike
    2003 BMW F650cs
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand, Ne
    Posts
    244
    First
    Got a second hand GL145 from a mechanic at bayride. didn't realise he had redone the gears (you stop thinking about keeping the front wheel on the road, then the front wheel would come up to meet you.)

    Soon discovered this when at the lights tried to take off as usuall in my 1st gl145 (lots of revs away we go) this one the front end came up to meet me and I pushed the bike down right hand first, this spun the bike around 180 degrees, ended up turning the bike around facing the trafic. stoped the bike about 2 cms from the bumper of the bmw behind me.

    The damn window washer guy stood next to me and said "COOL can you do that again?!"


    Second
    Was backing the loaded, 18tons, truck (class 4 mitsubishee (sp) fighter, it was also lowered to alow easy offloading) out off a customers drive.
    Steep bastard I ended up grounding out the tail lift at the back and picking my axels off the gound due to the gutter.

    Took about an hour to get it out with the truck blocking 3/4 of papamoa beach road. efentually got 3 four wheel drives to drag the truck forward. Pissing hydraulic fluid out of the busted tail lift.

    Now I always reverse down at an angle. supprisingly I can get my truck through places others say cant be done thanks to this trick

    Third.
    Done this morning
    I have discovered that the BMW F650's have a nasty habit of turning their parking lights on when you engage the steering lock, so when I returned to the bike after 14 hours of driving trucks I find that the batter is dead.
    No problem I suspected that I might have trouble with the battery so I carried a pair of jumper cables.
    I get a car to jump off, hook up the leads; have to use a screwdriver to reach the positive terminal, so I am stuck by the side of the bike while the other driver is in the car reving the engine.

    Shit how am I going to reach the starter. Oh yes I have the remote start on my alarm. reaching for my belt I start the bike, Sweet it works. Unhook the leads and geting ready the alarm beeps to remind me that the bike is on remote start. Ok turn off the remote start and the engine dies. Bugger obviously not enough juice, so try again; and again; and again.

    At this time I look at my arm and see the bike key sat in its pocket waiting to be used. Plug the key in start her up and ride over to the guys car, which just stalled. I say nothing but I did reconect his battery lead he had disconected.
    Who says girls dont know their way around an engine bay?
    --Kasper

    Oi! where's me tigers head?

    4 ft from its tail!

  9. #69
    Join Date
    7th December 2007 - 12:09
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    Valkyrie 1500 ,HD softail, BMW r1150r
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    New Plymouth
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mom View Post
    You are that old??

    Only alternative to growing old is dying young...............

    similar noobies mistakes ......different outcome.....

    Opinions are like arseholes: Everybody has got one, but that doesn't mean you got to air it in public all the time....

  10. #70
    Join Date
    18th February 2005 - 10:16
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    CT110 Super Cub - postie bike
    Location
    Christchurch
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    Quote Originally Posted by martybabe View Post
    ...and the old DT sank beneath the surface with barley a ripple
    So it was a barley field?
    Grow older but never grow up

  11. #71
    Join Date
    23rd March 2008 - 16:44
    Bike
    2008 Suzuki GSX650F; 1995 Suzuki RF900RR
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    Christchurch
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    187
    Quote Originally Posted by Gubb View Post
    First time ever on a bike, tried to put my leg on the ground coming to a stop, only to find that I couldn't move it. Toppled over with the 125 on top of me.

    The kick-starter had gone into up trouser leg, and I couldn't move off the pedal.

    This one made me LMAO! I could just see it happening!! Bling!

    It would appear that I'm bit of a un-co clown sometimes

    1. On my first bike, trusty ole GN250. Been out riding with Hubby and thought we would call into his brothers. They had just finished building their house and the driveway had been laid the weekend before. We pulled up, I got off, took helmet gloves off etc, grabbed key out of ignition and walked away - only to watch the "Hardly" fall over!! Hadn't put the stand down properly!!! It only just missed my hubby's bike, the New Falcon in the driveway!! Unfortunately it made a bit gouge out of the new driveway! :slap:

    2. Was on FZ750 that was running like a bag of arseholes - and it needed to be over rev'ed to move, but I unfortunately got myself stuck in the dip of the entrance to our driveway (in the gutter basically) where I couldn't reach the ground - so in my wisdom - I powered on and dropped the clutch! The bike took off like a fucking rocket and I landed in the hedge!! (and then the footpath!). I was just really lucky that the open home that was on next door had just finished and everyone had left. Hubby poked his head around the hedge and helped me pick the bike up without laughing!! Had I been him I would have wet myself!!

    3. And the most embarrassing! We had just bought the RF and I was out tootling around getting used to it, when I thought I'd pop to the Eftpos machine - no sweat! I pulled into a really busy supermarket/shopping mall around about 11am on Saturday morning (you get the picture of how busy this place is!), when I decided to park the bike. After navigating around some old people and some cages racing out of the parking spaces - I found a park - but what I didn't see was the oil/petrol/anti-freeze on the ground and when I went to put my foot down, it kept going!!.. slipping... slipping...slipping.. PLONK! All in slow motion!! Couldn't do a damn thing!
    A little ole lady came over to see if I was OK - Thank god she couldn't see the glow through my mirrored visor. Got up from under the bike - Took helmet off and then turned bike off. Went to pick up (incorrectly even though I knew how to!) And then proceeded to get stuck half way under the bike! Lucky for me a couple of young guys came over to help me.. I'm sure they would have been cracking up before and after I fell off!
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be to short too scratch...

  12. #72
    Join Date
    16th September 2004 - 16:48
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    PopTart Katoona
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    CT, USA
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    6,542
    Blog Entries
    1
    -rolling bike off center stand while not sitting one it.
    -walking a burnout just off the pavement so the front wheel is sitting on the sodden grass.
    -taking off with disc lock x 6.
    -spilling brake fluid on tank and not cleaning up.
    -hitting power valves mid-corner.
    .....
    i think i should stop there before i incriminate myself more.
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  13. #73
    Join Date
    28th March 2008 - 18:43
    Bike
    1993 Suzuki RF400R & Kawasaki ZXR750
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    Christchurch
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    92
    Quote Originally Posted by kasper View Post
    First
    Got a second hand GL145 from a mechanic at bayride. didn't realise he had redone the gears (you stop thinking about keeping the front wheel on the road, then the front wheel would come up to meet you.)

    Soon discovered this when at the lights tried to take off as usuall in my 1st gl145 (lots of revs away we go) this one the front end came up to meet me and I pushed the bike down right hand first, this spun the bike around 180 degrees, ended up turning the bike around facing the trafic. stoped the bike about 2 cms from the bumper of the bmw behind me.

    The damn window washer guy stood next to me and said "COOL can you do that again?!"
    So wait, the other GL didnt have the gear ratio for a wheely? Did you mean to do a wheely, or just wanted to leave everyone in the dust? And why did you push with just your right hand down, thats quite hard to do when both your hands (i am assuming) are on the bars. None the less extremely funny, thanks for sharing your stories.
    ------------------------------------------------
    Me: Darling, come here... what do you think of this Daytona
    Darling: RF400 is red, it goes faster.

  14. #74
    Join Date
    1st September 2007 - 21:01
    Bike
    1993 Yamaha FJ 1200
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    Paradise
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    14,125
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    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Mom View Post
    You can "flufel up a gum tree"!

    I am grown up now, mind you I may have a couple of other stories I might share...LOL
    My Grand Mother used to say that...

    One of my noobie "error's" was one evening, after taking out a new girlfriend on the bike (CB750 Honda). I pulled up at her place, waited untill she got off. Then stepped off myself, and in eager anticipation of "our" first goodnight kiss, let go of the bike, and walked toward her. This without the sidestand down, or on the mainstand. Gravity had its way... but fell onto the grass. No damage to the bike, but petrol leaked out of the tank and killed a bit of the lawn. That didn't impress her dad...much.
    When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...

  15. #75
    Join Date
    17th June 2008 - 22:48
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    Yamaha Scorpio!
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    Christchurch
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    Quote Originally Posted by avgas View Post
    -rolling bike off center stand while not sitting one it.
    Are you not suppose to do that? I always stand next to the bike to push it off the centre stand?

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