The older generation

[Stickchick]

My Grandad has always been the type of Navy man with all the pride in the world. Would never talk to his Grand-daughters about all his navy stories, as he deemed it inappropriate. However, the love of his life (my Nan) has recently passed away. Now the pride has disappeared. He talks to me about what his mother and father were like. What he got up to at Port back in the day (some stories are just down right hilarious. He also admits that he isn't doing that well. Normally all I get from him is "I'm ok, I'm worried about your Nan" or "don't worry about me"

I have always appreciated my Grandad for who he was and his morales that he has taught all of us in the family. So why does it take a passing of a loved one to let the younger generation into their world?

[ynot slow]

The older generation have a percieved idea younger ones don't care,by the time both realise they do care it can be too late.Always appreciated my grandparents,was oldest on one side,second eldest on other,so had great times with grandies,miss em even now.

[98tls]

My Grandad has always been the type of Navy man with all the pride in the world. Would never talk to his Grand-daughters about all his navy stories, as he deemed it inappropriate. However, the love of his life (my Nan) has recently passed away. Now the pride has disappeared. He talks to me about what his mother and father were like. What he got up to at Port back in the day (some stories are just down right hilarious. He also admits that he isn't doing that well. Normally all I get from him is "I'm ok, I'm worried about your Nan" or "don't worry about me"

I have always appreciated my Grandad for who he was and his morales that he has taught all of us in the family. So why does it take a passing of a loved one to let the younger generation into their world?

Hes proud and rightly so,the love of his life has passed and i guess talking about her and his past is only natural,i dont believe his pride has disappered in fact with his loss he is probably more proud and rightly so,take it for whatever it is and enjoy his experiances,above all love him as he obviously loves you........enjoy.Nothing better than to listen to those that have lived a life.

[Trumpess]

Hes proud and rightly so,the love of his life has passed and i guess talking about her and his past is only natural,i dont believe his pride has disappered in fact with his loss he is probably more proud and rightly so,take it for whatever it is and enjoy his experiances,above all love him as he obviously loves you........enjoy.Nothing better than to listen to those that have lived a life.

Oh I totally agree!
Their lives were certianly alot harder than we endure now, but the stories are one to treasure forever.
Your Grandfather probably though of his stories to be nothing others would be interested in. Alot of the older folk do think like this.
My grandfather was one, but I harped at him to tell me. I wanted to know what he went through, what kind if life he lived. His stories tottaly intregued me! Such history!
I used to listen attentively to my grandfather of his stories of growing up and his war stories. Not so much of the ugly bits, but stories of the international friendships he made, the laughs they had at such an awful time of their lives. Stories I will always remember, and pass on to my kids.
My nana talks very fondly of her stories with grandad. Stories that wont be around for much longer, as she is in the final stages of passing.
So in a way I understand your feelings. Treasure everything!

Sorry to hear the passing of your nana.

[Pedrostt500]

Its hard to lose someone you have been close to, its harder if they have been a major part of your life for many years, love him and make him feel needed.

[oldrider]

Have stories, will travel!.......Nah, better wait until I am dead. Cheers John.

[Mom]

I was raised away from all my extended family. I never had an aunty or a Gran. They were so far away.

I was very fortunate to talk a few times with my grandfather on the phone, very special times, getting woken up in the dead of night to say a few sleepy words.

I travelled back to the States and Canada in the '80s and got to meet most of my family. The one that I will never forget was my dying Grandfather, he was diagnosed with liver cancer about 6 months before I was due to arrive. He was in a hospice, still functioning mentally, but not so flash physically. He had typed (no computers back then) a story of his life for me. He could not say the words, but wrote them. Oldies are so special! Real treasures.

I love how my children love their Grandma!

Sticky, older people were not raised to share feelings, it is when they get fragile, they feel finally able to say things, as for them there can be no consequences.

[scumdog]

My old man is in his 80's, has only just in the last few years elaborated on what he got up to in Palestine in the late 40's and in the Malay jungle in the 50's and in Malay Police Special Branch in the late 50's/early 60's.

Opens your eyes a bit - now I look at the old codgers with new respect - they weren't 'old codgers' all their life eh, the lived and boy did they live.

The risked their lives for this life-style we now have, a shame more don't appreciate that fact.

[martybabe]

Sticky, older people were not raised to share feelings, it is when they get fragile, they feel finally able to say things, as for them there can be no consequences.

Very true. I guess I'm older than you stickchick, which makes my parents your grandparents age, or there abouts. I lived my whole life knowing nothing of my parents former lives, to all intents and purposes, they came into being the day I was born.

When curiosity got the better of martybabeboy, my questions were always stone walled, seriously They wouldn't tell me of their courting days, the war, childhood, nothing.

That all changed when my dad died, within a few short weeks I knew more about my Father than I had done all my life. Still more as my Mom became terminally ill, I found out all about the people that had become my parents. Weird eh.

Be a good pair of ears for him ST, he needs to share now and you will be all the richer for having listened.

[Ixion]

An older generation, stiff upper lip and so on. But there comes a time when a man (in particular, women too, I guess) realise that there isn't long to go, and something deep inside says "Time to pass the knowledge and history on - it must not die with you".

[fire eyes]

fantastic thread Stickchick ... brings up alot of memories .. my grandfather is 80 ... we were never really close, he spent alot of time out of the country so visits were rare but he was always open .. and shared his stories about his life where he could, hes still alive and still out of the country alot lol but I treasure whatever time I have with him .. however on the other hand my grandmother expressed very little until she was dying of Liver Cancer (passed away 18 years ago).. we found out her parents both died young of cancer, no family member wanted her so she was fostered by a strict priest and she grew up pretty hardcore religo .. I agree that some had very hard times and maybe bringing it up could cause alot of heartache .. I agree wholeheartedly with the sticky statement Mom made. Enjoy your time with your grandad and my condolences about your grandmother to.

[yungatart]

Grandad still has his pride! But now he is lonely too, SC.
He's lucky to have you to listen to him.
You know that htere is always a bed here for you, if you want to come down and surprise him with a visit.

[MSTRS:Me]

Sticky, older people were not raised to share feelings, it is when they get fragile, they feel finally able to say things, as for them there can be no consequences.

An older generation, stiff upper lip and so on. But there comes a time when a man (in particular, women too, I guess) realise that there isn't long to go, and something deep inside says "Time to pass the knowledge and history on - it must not die with you".

Perhaps it's a twofold reason for opening up now.
The death of an aged spouse is a kickstart to realising one's own life is at risk of being forgotten.
And a sudden realisation that a loved grandchild is an adult in their own right, no longer a child needing to be protected from some of life's shenanigans.
Whatever, Sticky, just soak up all that your grandad 'gives' you - it's an honour and a privilege to be allowed access to someone's life.

[portokiwi]

Stick chick it is male pride and the fact that he was in the service adds to that.
Its hard to describe but I saw it in my Grand father, and in my uncle. Both served overseas in a war or police action.
Pride is bred in a male more so if he has been in the service which Pride in drummed into you.
Pride of who you are, pride of what you are doing and pride of what you have achived.
It would have been so hard for him to admit he isnt doing so well now that his wife has passed away.
Women are the biggest piller of strenth that a guy has.
Someone to care for, to provide for, to shere with.
Now she is gone he will be lost, Might be physicaly, emotionaly.
remember that if he opens up that is the sign he is looking for somthing or someone to help.
Dont let go.

[maybe]

Does it matter why, make the most of the time you have left with your Grandfather, you will never regret it.