Police motorcyclist injured by falling tree

[Swoop]

The only offence I can see him being charged with is felling a tree (a Rata, I understand) without resource consent.

Presumably somone has contacted the local Iwi and apologised for damaging their forest with their heathen white-man technology?

[Artifice]

Tree narrowly fails to slay cop by mere inches. The officer recieving a deep wound to the leg, It being well known that police think on thier feet. It is hard to know if this tree was acting alone or part of a greater west coast forest conspiracy. When intervieved the tree gave only a wooden silence. Alone or not the Wext Coast Sawmillers Association have vowed to redouble thier efforts in the fight agianst the evil tree consparacy. Doc, when asked what they made of the whole incident had this to say, "certainly a coffee table. Perhaps a small gazebo & even a shrubbery with a little garden path too".

[Swoop]

When intervieved the tree gave only a wooden silence.

Well. Wooden ya' know it!
Since the "Tree Gang" hang around in groups, perhaps some "anti-gang" legislation will make them talk?