Following on from Fat Max

[dpex]

Another goody along the same lines.

I'm heading down a tree-studded road in Ponsonby. Behind is some old guy in a shapeless white cage. He's a reasonable distance behind, but the spider shook my web a bit. I dunno what it was, but he just made me feel 'cautious'.

So I slowed right down to about 30K's as I approached the Stop sign.

Fuck me, the silly old goat ran into me. His bumper hit my tyre. No damage.

But he must have seen my large shoulders hunch and my helmeted head turn toward him.

In that moment he panicked, slammed the old cage into reverse and floored it. What he didn't see was the Korean (50-something) in the Audi now right behind.

Yup. He reversed straight into her flash front-gear. She was out of the car and bashing on his roof, screaming in Korean (I know this to be because I speak a little of the language) like a demented banshee.

So now this poor old fuck has got this huge bloke getting off his motorcycle and looking menacing, and the Korean woman doing the tap-dance from hell on his roof. And he does what any totally panicked soul might do.

He slams his elderly cage into 'go' steps on the gas, has a shot at getting past me and my bike, misses, rides up over the kerb and slams his cage into one seriously elderly, and very solid Oak tree.

Mercifully, he was unhurt, but by the time he'd figured that out the Korean was on his case again. She was bashing on his roof while screaming into a cell-phone...to guess who. I suspect he might have preferred death to the threat thereof.

Like fat Max. I figured simply toddling off was the go.

[Storm]

You must have sore sides from laughing so much!!

[Gremlin]

If thats how he reacts to one tap into a motorbike... his license should be removed... permanently...

[Swoop]

I figured simply toddling off was the go.

Hopefully you checked that the driver was ok?
Otherwise the plod will start the "leaving the scene of an accident" routine...

[CookMySock]

Like fat Max. I figured simply toddling off was the go.

aww, stick around mate. It's just getting interesting.

I had some boy racer tryhard following me in my cage sometime back. He had no rear suspension at all, and I discovered shortly, no front brakes either. I pulled up just in time at some roundabout and the car behind me comes to a sliding stop - tyres howling, and said boy racer ploughs into the back of both of us and totals two cars (I don't even get nudged.)

He was not amused, as it was apparently my fault for stopping so quickly.
Thats not what the law says.

Steve

[Fatt Max]

Another goody along the same lines.

I'm heading down a tree-studded road in Ponsonby. Behind is some old guy in a shapeless white cage. He's a reasonable distance behind, but the spider shook my web a bit. I dunno what it was, but he just made me feel 'cautious'.

So I slowed right down to about 30K's as I approached the Stop sign.

Fuck me, the silly old goat ran into me. His bumper hit my tyre. No damage.

But he must have seen my large shoulders hunch and my helmeted head turn toward him.

In that moment he panicked, slammed the old cage into reverse and floored it. What he didn't see was the Korean (50-something) in the Audi now right behind.

Yup. He reversed straight into her flash front-gear. She was out of the car and bashing on his roof, screaming in Korean (I know this to be because I speak a little of the language) like a demented banshee.

So now this poor old fuck has got this huge bloke getting off his motorcycle and looking menacing, and the Korean woman doing the tap-dance from hell on his roof. And he does what any totally panicked soul might do.

He slams his elderly cage into 'go' steps on the gas, has a shot at getting past me and my bike, misses, rides up over the kerb and slams his cage into one seriously elderly, and very solid Oak tree.

Mercifully, he was unhurt, but by the time he'd figured that out the Korean was on his case again. She was bashing on his roof while screaming into a cell-phone...to guess who. I suspect he might have preferred death to the threat thereof.

Like fat Max. I figured simply toddling off was the go.

That, my firend is a fucking classic, multiple dementedness. It paints a brilliant picture. You must have fair pissed yourself mate, that is out of the top drawer...

[Fatt Max]

aww, stick around mate. It's just getting interesting.

I had some boy racer tryhard following me in my cage sometime back. He had no rear suspension at all, and I discovered shortly, no front brakes either. I pulled up just in time at some roundabout and the car behind me comes to a sliding stop - tyres howling, and said boy racer ploughs into the back of both of us and totals two cars (I don't even get nudged.)

He was not amused, as it was apparently my fault for stopping so quickly.
Thats not what the law says.

Steve

Another brilliant story...great stuff DB...!!!

[naphazoline]

i love this shit....keep these stories coming lol

[Dooly]

Like a couple a years back.
The missus had a brand new BA XR8 Falcon.
One morn I thought I'd take it to work for a blast.
We only had it a month.

I stopped at temorary roadworks just as I entered town.
Saw a car approaching fast behind.
Thought...'fuck, this aint gonna stop'.

Clenched me butt...........whammo, she hit me about 70kph in the rear, pushed me into the towbar of a truck stopped in front of me.

Got out, it looked like her car had vomitted its whole front end on the road.
The rear of mine was stoved in, and fucked, the front bumper and bits rooted, but no radiator leak.
Got all the details off her etc.

She said, do you think my car will drive.
I said...'lady, I dont give a fuck'.
Quick visual over mine, turned around drove home.

Got home, walked in the door, missus asked what I was back for.
I said, 'take the day off, you've got some insurance shit to sort, your car's fucked, seeya.'
Jumped in my ute went to work.

Towies came took her car away, 6 weeks later, full new floor pan and all bits, 16k damage.
Luckily we had replacement car insurance so the cunt who hit us was billed for that.........but as usual never paid, and it went to court where I went as a witness for AMI.
The cunt never turned up, but for some reason they could only do her for 7.5k damages.