Fat bloke strikes back

**Fatt Max** · 27th November 2008, 17:51

On my way home through Remuera tonight about 5.30pm, stopped at the lights outside Corran School.

Some yuppie prick and his bottle blond girlfriend pull up alongside me and I can see they are having a good laugh and looking over at me.

I pop the visor up and hear the words "...just like that fat guy over there on the bike..."

I look over and nod hello and the ensuing convesation goes something like this:

Yuppie: Nice bike (giggle)

FM: Cheers mate

Yuppie: Did you have to pay extra for the loser plate?

FM: No but the rocket launcher and machine guns were extra

Yuppies Girlfriend: Can you stopr talking to that fat loser and keep your eyes on the road

FM (To the yuppie): Oi you wanker, if your tart has something to say, why dont you fucking say it for her before I come over there and ram that fucking mobile phone up your arse sideways you c**t!

Then, for some reason, this idiot starts revving the arse out of the car, I mean really giving it heaps. He's ookin over at me and shouting som kind of insult but I couldnt hear him over the noise, so I just tossed him the wanker sign.

The next thing I know the car has gone shooting forward like a bullet out of gun and.....SMACK......right up the arse of the flat bed ute in front of him!

His $5,000 moulded bumper is shattered and the tow bar on the ute ends up in his engine bay.

I am laughing so much I stall the bike and nearly drop it. The yuppies tart has smacked her head on something cos there is a bit of blood and she is freaking out big time.

But now the yuppie is shitting himself because out of the ute jumps two of the biggest islander boys I have seen in my life and they do not look happy. Tme to get outta here, i think to myself as this is going to get messy...

I compose myself, start the bike and toodle off home still wetting my undies laughing. I'm going through Remmers on the way to work tomorrow and may stop and collect some bumper debris, missus reckons I should sell it back to the twat piece by piece on Trademe.

By the way, the car was a green convertible Audi (well its almost an Audi now)

Had to tell the tale, hope you enjoy......

**jrandom** · 27th November 2008, 17:56

My nipples explode with delight!

**dwnundabkr** · 27th November 2008, 17:58

now that is furkin funny, well said and all good things come to those who wait
hhahhahahaha fuckn poser

**Hadley** · 27th November 2008, 17:58

Bloody brilliant!!

**fire eyes** · 27th November 2008, 18:01

geezus Max .. you always seem to find yourself in some interesting situations dont you lol

**howdamnhard** · 27th November 2008, 18:03

HA,HA,HA you have such a wonderful way with words,thanks for cheering me up.

**wbks** · 27th November 2008, 18:05

Bahahahahahaha...You should have stopped ahead and watched. Seriously that is funny. I can just imagine it now. That guy sounded like such a tosser man.
"Oi you wanker, if your tart has something to say, why dont you fucking say it for her before I come over there and ram that fucking mobile phone up your arse sideways you c**t!" lmao are all brits as witty as you?