Witty comebacks at BBQs...

[Insanity_rules]

Had another one of those BBQ's last night - the sort where well meaning (but ultimately retarded) people try carefully to explain the error of my ways using the anecdotal evidence of why bikes are bad...

Two examples stood out last night, the first was the inevitable story of some distant friend/relative who bought a Harley, and even though he was a super driver, he ended up dead/in hospital after only a week...

The other was less generic - apparently some american rookie footballer got his 30 million signing cheque and bought himself a bike... And in learning to ride it in a carpark, the bike threw him off, he ruptured his ACL and almost lost his contract... Did I mention he was using a Hayabusa to learn to ride...?

So, instead of the normal sigh and quiet explanation that bikes are less safe than cars, and that with proper experience and tuition the risks are minimised, I tried a different approach...

The conversation went something like...
"Bikes are evil and they will destroy the universe..."
MBB - "Bikes have a built in fuckwit detector"
"What???"
MBB "Well, there's this idea called Darwins Law - a perfect example is your friend / relative who after never having graduated through a process of bikes, he went and queue jumped and bought a Harley"
"Huh???"
MBB "So, Darwins Law means that he ensured that he'd eat shit and die by being so stupid"
"Now, hang on a minute, it was the bike that killed him"
MBB - "No, it was his arrogance that killed him, and it seems that you're infected with the same lack of logic and commonsense that he had with your iillinformed and stupid sweeping statements..."

For some reason, he didn't seem to want to continue the discussion? I'm not sure, but maybe my people skills need work -

Oh yeah boy, that was a brilliant comeback. Did you really say that? I love serving it to these suposed intellectuals who think they can talk me out of my passion or try to make me look stupid by coming out with some tired story about a relative or friend.

Can I use your analogy (with credit given to the original author of course)?

I love to point out that a good dose of motorcycle accidents are caused by f@ckwits like whom ever just piped up driving a car with their brains in the glovebox and another significant number are riders who don't know their limits.

[thepom]

I,ve had 2 bad accidents in 4 years both not my fault but boy do I get some shit for riding bikes!

[madbikeboy]

Oh yeah boy, that was a brilliant comeback. Did you really say that? I love serving it to these suposed intellectuals who think they can talk me out of my passion or try to make me look stupid by coming out with some tired story about a relative or friend.

Can I use your analogy (with credit given to the original author of course)?

I love to point out that a good dose of motorcycle accidents are caused by f@ckwits like whom ever just piped up driving a car with their brains in the glovebox and another significant number are riders who don't know their limits.

Yes, I really said it...

Was sitting on the beach with MadBikeBabe's mommy yesterday, her sister etc - and mommy starting telling me that I have a "stupid" sense of humour, and that I needed to stop being sarcastic and making stuff up. An example of this was a great-aunt who, despite meeting me about 15 times in the last 3 years, still asks (and you have to imagine the posh accent) "Oh, have we meet?". She asks this each time. So a week before xmas at a "function" I replied, no maam, I'm the hired help. To which she replied, "fetch me a sherry then".

Same old biddy at the xmas "function" being held at some posh house with a big assed pool - again, posh accent - "Oh, have we met?". To which I replied, "no Maam, I'm the pool guy, I came to clean your pool but asked to stay, which I though was really kind of you".

So, old biddy Aunt complains to MadBikeBabe's mommy about my "horrid lying", for which I get a lecture. I mean, honestly, does blue blood mean you can't have a sense of fucking humour?

[GSXR Trace]

Just this morning i had an old bugger try to tell me my bike was too big for me and that they were bloody dangerous machines... I gave a short and annoyed answer of only if you are an idiot and i had my helmet on and so jumped on my bike and rode off (faster than usual just to mess with him! haha)

I cannot believe how many times guys see me gearing up to get on my bike and ask if its mine.. and then comment that it is a big bike for a girl! They just make me mad!

[madbikeboy]

I think it's the coolest thing, a chick riding.

[MsKABC]

I cannot believe how many times guys see me gearing up to get on my bike and ask if its mine.. and then comment that it is a big bike for a girl! They just make me mad!

Those are the blokes to stay away from. You need one who is secure enough in his own masculinity not to be threatened by a chick on a bike. Assuming you don't already have one of those

[GSXR Trace]

I think it's the coolest thing, a chick riding.

Those are the blokes to stay away from. You need one who is secure enough in his own masculinity not to be threatened by a chick on a bike. Assuming you don't already have one of those

yes well it is clear that i have to find myself a guy who rides... as the last one was rather against me riding... although was happy that I snowboard... but still there are multiple reasons why he is now classified as the "ex"

But seriously, since i got the gixer, on average i get about 3 comments a week from guys who think my bike is too big for me! at first i found it laughable as clearly they have an image of my bike being for guys, and I thought that was awesome, but the condensending comments that have been made since make we want to get off my bike and hit them!

[MsKABC]

But seriously, since i got the gixer, on average i get about 3 comments a week from guys who think my bike is too big for me! at first i found it laughable as clearly they have an image of my bike being for guys, and I thought that was awesome, but the condensending comments that have been made since make we want to get off my bike and hit them!

It's probably just too big for THEM! (Is da poor widdle boy afwaid of da big scawy motosickle? Diddums!) You are clearly hanging out in all the wrong places! My best friend used to ride a zxr750 and I don't think she ever got negative comments. Blokes were always impressed! Take a deep breath, climb on your bike & give it a big handful of throttle as you ride away

[Blossom]

Yep the domestic BBQ is certainly full of middle class idiots. My personal favorite come back to the inevitable statement of how dangerous bikes are and how could I be so irresponsible and potentially leave my children without a mother is... "yes I know they are dangerous. I have already lost a brother who was riding a motorbike, nearly crippled another brother, so statistically the odds are I should be fine."
Thens theres the ever popular "True, but thank goodness they are not as dangerous as cars, Seems like every day on the news there is are stories about fatal car crashes. So how do you get around?"
yeah I know I am a sarcastic wench... its part of my charm.

[sugilite:Me]

If you want to cop some major condesending crap about the dangers of how you live your life when youre at a barbeque, tell them you passengerd two sidecars around the Cemetary Circiut last week.
And as they berate you for being a brainless moron, fill up on piss & prepare to drive home i think, Really . . .Who is the fuckwit here.

Some of my customers say they cannot imagine me riding a motorcycle yet alone racing one. They freaked when I told them about the cemetery circuit. "But why?" they said... I told them the flaggies had a coffin at every corner and it cut out the middle man

[Cheshire Cat]

Definitly doing that next time! espcially since most of the negitive comments and cheeky remarks i get are from my bf and his mates lol

Well done.

An alternative is to state that the government would be better off banning knees as they are much more dangerous than motorcycles. When you get the 'huh?' you promptly knee him in the nuts and reply 'see, very dangerous...'

[GSXR Trace]

Yes, I really said it...

Was sitting on the beach with MadBikeBabe's mommy yesterday, her sister etc - and mommy starting telling me that I have a "stupid" sense of humour, and that I needed to stop being sarcastic and making stuff up. An example of this was a great-aunt who, despite meeting me about 15 times in the last 3 years, still asks (and you have to imagine the posh accent) "Oh, have we meet?". She asks this each time. So a week before xmas at a "function" I replied, no maam, I'm the hired help. To which she replied, "fetch me a sherry then".

Same old biddy at the xmas "function" being held at some posh house with a big assed pool - again, posh accent - "Oh, have we met?". To which I replied, "no Maam, I'm the pool guy, I came to clean your pool but asked to stay, which I though was really kind of you".

So, old biddy Aunt complains to MadBikeBabe's mommy about my "horrid lying", for which I get a lecture. I mean, honestly, does blue blood mean you can't have a sense of fucking humour?

man, i hope your lady rides, or I feel she is gonna have some trouble if her family keeps giving you shit about riding!

[Pussy]

yes well it is clear that i have to find myself a guy who rides... as the last one was rather against me riding... although was happy that I snowboard... but still there are multiple reasons why he is now classified as the "ex"

But seriously, since i got the gixer, on average i get about 3 comments a week from guys who think my bike is too big for me! at first i found it laughable as clearly they have an image of my bike being for guys, and I thought that was awesome, but the condensending comments that have been made since make we want to get off my bike and hit them!

And you've been a meatbomb too, Trace! You irresponsible thing....

[madbikeboy]

man, i hope your lady rides, or I feel she is gonna have some trouble if her family keeps giving you shit about riding!

Umm. Hmm. She really doesn't like the bike, and her eyes glaze over when I talk about it. Them? Especially Scoot.

Meatbomb? I didn't know you were dumb enough to jump?

[GSXR Trace]

And you've been a meatbomb too, Trace! You irresponsible thing....

Umm. Hmm. She really doesn't like the bike, and her eyes glaze over when I talk about it. Them? Especially Scoot.

Meatbomb? I didn't know you were dumb enough to jump?

uh oh... she better start liking it soon!

And yes, i have a need for speed.. and jumping out of a plane and plumeting towards the ground sounded like fun! and hell it was! can't see how it was dumb... do explain