Flucking load lage

[Fatt Max]

Decided to get out and about this afternoon and take the bike for a wee blat.

So, I’m cruising into Howick about 5.00pm and can see a car load of our oriental cousins coming out of a side road on my left. The driver is looking to his left and edging forward so he has not bothered to look the other way and cannot see me approaching.

I slow down in anticipation and notice that one of the female passengers sitting behind the driver is telling him that I am approaching. Next thing I know he has pulled right out in front of me, I swerve to avoid him narrowly missing an oncoming car who must have seen my plight because he pulled over to avoid me.

The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.

Thinking no more of it, I carry on only to see that the car has pulled over by the Hammer Hardware store and the driver is out of the car waving his arms at me as I pass. So, sensing a bit of agro, I pull over to see what the flapping is all about. Conversation something like this:

Driver – How dare you show finger to my girl
FM – You should look where you are going you prat
Driver – you no talk like this, I velly angly, you are fuckwit
FM – Mate, do me a favour and go throw a fucking big hairy dog into your big self you two bob slit faced c**t..! (bit strong I know but all good fun)

This is when the funny shit happens.....

The young lady in the back reckons it’s her turn to get stuck into the fat biker and steps out of the car screaming like a rabid dog. She is wearing a sarong type thing around her waist and is brandishing what looks like a fucking hair drier or something.

Great, mee thinks, I’m about to get permed to death by Lucy Liu.

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

I fecking piss myself, start the bike, shout “Oi love, nice Alan Whickers” and ride off. I see in the wing mirror that she is desperately trying to cover herself up because she looks a total prannet.

Love it....

[BMWST?]

how do you find these people?

[roy.nz]

Love it ......

[MsKABC]

You are a comedy magnet.

[Fatt Max]

how do you find these people?

Mate, wished I knew...I seem to attract them time and time again.

[Swoop]

You could have been onto another snog!
This time with a member of the correct sex.

[Katman]

Sounds like shit to me.

[Fatt Max]

Sounds like shit to me.

Ok Ok Ok, its a fair cop.

Yes, this is not quite true. I couldnt tell 100% that the undies were barbie ones but they sure as hell looked pink. I havnt worn mine for years myself so I cant quite remember what they look like.

[Mystic13]

Sounds like shit to me.

+1

lol... some folks like to tell fish stories, some folks like to tell bike stories and some folks... like to tell Asian disaster stories?...

All I think is i really need to know what your bike looks like because I want to make sure I'm not too close. It seems you're always on the verge of problems and being clear just seems a safe place to be.

On a more serious note I find it easier to not take on cage drivers in this manner... I think it just makes them less likely to be pleasant to a bike in future.

Last time I had a car almost run into me we stopped and talked and I said in a calm voice "Gee you came really close to knocking me over... you really need to keep an eye out for us bikes" and they were pleasant and apologised and we wished each other well and went on our way. I'd like to think he'd be likely to treat a rider better in future as a result.

While you embelish stories well I'm just not sure you do riders much of a favour with the confrontational style.

[Insanity_rules]

You sure do pick em Max, does your bike have an idiot magnet or is it a rice queen (attracted to asians)?

[Ixion]

Well, from what the stout gentleman says, they were the confrontational ones.

The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.

So, they try to kill him, then give him the finger. Obvious racism, for a start.

I'd have been a good sight more confrontational, m'self.

[Fatt Max]

lol... some folks like to tell fish stories, some folks like to tell bike stories and some folks... like to tell Asian disaster stories?...

All I think is i really need to know what your bike looks like because I want to make sure I'm not too close. It seems you're always on the verge of problems and being clear just seems a safe place to be.

On a more serious note I find it easier to not take on cage drivers in this manner... I think it just makes them less likely to be pleasant to a bike in future.

Last time I had a car almost run into me we stopped and talked and I said in a calm voice "Gee you came really close to knocking me over... you really need to keep an eye out for us bikes" and they were pleasant and apologised and we wished each other well and went on our way. I'd like to think he'd be likely to treat a rider better in future as a result.

While you embelish stories well I'm just not sure you do riders much of a favour with the confrontational style.

A fair and valid point.

However it was the cockiness that got up my hooter. This guy and his passenger didnt seem to care that I had to swerve to avoid them because of their attitude on the road. And it's not just Aisian drivers, we have all experienced aggro from drivers of all sexes, nationalities and ages.

In fact, the worst incident I witnessed was a rich white boy in his mums MX5 who nearly wiped out a mum and her toddler. I dont give a flying rats where these people come from, if they are downright dangerous and oblivious to other road users, then give 'em a blast I say.

I am in full agreement, however, that altercations can cause more problems for other bikers. God forbid that the next time this individual sees a bike he will want to have a pop because of our little incident. I certainly do not want to cause havoc to anyone.

The lighter side is that this chick was de robed by her own car door while coming at me with a hair dryer....now that is funny...

Good points and note well and truly taken mate

[Ixion]

I must say that I do not usually get too bothered about cages that move in on me, pull out in front of me, etc, mainly because it happens so often and I have got to the point where I can usually anticpate it. But, the ones that get me REAL MAD are those where the guilty party thinks its a big joke or tries to make like it's my fault that they're psychpathic P addled morons.

And I do have to say that by a factor of at least 9 to 1, the ones that will do something that could kill you (or , a learner , anyway) and then when you catch them they'll be giggling away about it like it's the funniest thing in the worlds, are Asian. Chinese, mainly. I dont know what's with that, but it really gets my goat. And they get at least a good few choice words.

[musicman]

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

Pics or it never happened.

[TOTO]

sorry , its too weird to be true !