Bottom scanners in UK prisons

**vifferman** · 5th February 2009, 08:32

It's a weird world. UK prisons are to introduce arse scanners for naughty prisoners trying to smuggle phones and other 'shit' into prisons.

**Laava** · 5th February 2009, 11:41

Is it Julian Clary?
"I thank you!"

**Hitcher** · 5th February 2009, 11:53

Rectum? Damn near killed him.

**Ixion** · 5th February 2009, 11:59

I know that cellphones are very small now, and I am but a naive old man, but is actually possible, without anatomical damage?

**bungbung** · 5th February 2009, 12:12

Originally Posted by Ixion

I know that cellphones are very small now, and I am but a naive old man, but is actually possible, without anatomical damage?

Search on google, I'm sure there are plenty of demonstration videos available.

Perhaps "arse coke can video" is a good start

**Ixion** · 5th February 2009, 12:13

I think I will remain in naive innocence.

**PrincessBandit** · 5th February 2009, 12:25

Originally Posted by bungbung

Perhaps "arse coke can video" is a good start

Given that women are designed to give birth to creatures the size and weight of a bowling ball it would be easy enough for many of us to do; don't know how a man would fare though. Makes the eyes water just thinking about it.....

**Ixion** · 5th February 2009, 12:26

My uncertainty was predicated on the article being headed "Bottom scanners". Not "Pussy scanners"

**slofox** · 5th February 2009, 12:27

"The mobile Boss chairs have three sensitive sensors which can detect metal items as small as a pin..."

Why wouldja stick a pin up there?????????

**martybabe** · 5th February 2009, 12:39

Originally Posted by vifferman

It's a weird world. UK prisons are to introduce arse scanners for naughty prisoners trying to smuggle phones and other 'shit' into prisons.

NWS

I know a bunch of warped Fire men that could have weeks of fun with an item such as the one you describe

and in answer to Ixion's question, I have witnessed the same firemen play the disappearing anal snooker ball game, so yes, after years of selfless training, I believe a Cell phone would be easy peasy.

As a side note for you blokes that are interested the record for snooker balls in a foreskin is four and in a scrotum 8 not counting the resident two pink ones.

Guinness were never in attendance so the records remain unofficial.

Man I've wasted my life!

**bungbung** · 5th February 2009, 12:41

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

Given that women are designed to give birth to creatures the size and weight of a bowling ball it would be easy enough for many of us to do; don't know how a man would fare though. Makes the eyes water just thinking about it.....

You're not giving birth through your arsehole though are you?

**Ixion** · 5th February 2009, 12:41

Makes mental note never to play snooker with firemen.

**bungbung** · 5th February 2009, 12:42

I don't want to know how you can get a snooker ball into a scrotum

**martybabe** · 5th February 2009, 12:47

Originally Posted by bung bung

I don't want to know how you can get a snooker ball into a scrotum

No you don't but as an indication of how my mind is now twisted beyond redemption, it occurred to me that the pink chappy in your avatar may be enduring an arse scanning as we correspond.

Sorry, I'm going for a lie down now.