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Thread: I can multi-task. Suffered a heart attack, saved my life and pooped my pants.

  1. #1
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    4th May 2008 - 17:00
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    I can multi-task. Suffered a heart attack, saved my life and pooped my pants.

    So you know, as I was pootling down Verbena doing about 55, WHEN OH DAMNIT EMERGENCY STUPID BRAKE, BACK WHEEL SQUEALING AND FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE WITH THE FRONT TO KEEP ME UPRIGHT.

    Pic enclosed.

    Parked cars on either side, oncoming car unaware of the car hauling ass behind him about to overtake. Both oncoming cars were in between the two parked cars at the same instance, no room for precision cutting at all.

    Hooked too hard on the back brake and turned to go into the gutter as close I could, because it was either guter, two oncoming cars, or the car almost stopped in front of me. So drifting around his left was my only option.

    Pretty proud I actually GOT to where I intended, and supermoto style! Brushed off the last of my speed by circling around his front and sideways into the parked car. Jesus H.

    The car in front and myself, hopped out and sat down for a bit, my heart absolutely exploding with each beat.

    After a minutes silence...
    "That was a pretty nifty move there kid, dirt bikes eh?"
    'A bit. I think there's a whole track in my pants mate. Cheers for not running into the gutter!'
    "No worries. Fuck, that actually happened."

    I know nothing physical actually happened, but it felt like my life was supposed to flash in front of my eyes!

    /ranty story

    I think I might upgrade my front wheel this pay day. I have come to the conclusion I need more stick up there.
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  2. #2
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    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  3. #3
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    15th August 2007 - 17:36
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    GEEZUS bro ! glad you're ok..... shit! I often have a little pootle up and down Verbena and.... sometimes going just a tad faster than I should. Its just too narrow! and too many blind corners not to have your wits about you. Sounds like you did a hell of a job avoiding what could have been very nasty indeed. Might see you riding around. cheerio

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattian View Post
    GEEZUS bro ! glad you're ok..... shit! I often have a little pootle up and down Verbena and.... sometimes going just a tad faster than I should. Its just too narrow! and too many blind corners not to have your wits about you. Sounds like you did a hell of a job avoiding what could have been very nasty indeed. Might see you riding around. cheerio
    I may speed up on the straight a bit, where they recently put in a crossing island. But this was the small corner just down the road from it, before the tight right hander.
    Almost been taken out above the castle too, a bloody middle slipper coming my way. Damn crash rates close to home.

    Guess I'll see ya 'round!
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  5. #5
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    28th December 2008 - 21:12
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    I cant imagine how frightening that would of been, did you go riding anymore for the rest of the day/week or did it shake you up to much.Its good to hear youre ok though

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngbiker16 View Post
    I cant imagine how frightening that would of been, did you go riding anymore for the rest of the day/week or did it shake you up to much.Its good to hear youre ok though
    I went slowly to the petrol station and bought some 98, then to NW and bought 3 big fucking blocks of dark chocolate.

    Shit's working wonders.
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackshear View Post
    I went slowly to the petrol station and bought some 98, then to NW and bought 3 big fucking blocks of dark chocolate.

    Shit's working wonders.
    And music can be calming to,but yea coffee and chocolate are probly the best for these moments, oh and a 12 pack of steinlager pure with the rugby on (only in winter season) or whatever you like to wacth on tv best combination aye.

  8. #8
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    damn man... sounds a bit like me after my near miss with the old bat. took forever for my heart to realise that its too young to die.

    good save mate, bet it looked awesome to any pedestrians etc. not often they get to see a crusty demon in training, lol.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngbiker16 View Post
    And music can be calming to,but yea coffee and chocolate are probly the best for these moments, oh and a 12 pack of steinlager pure with the rugby on (only in winter season) or whatever you like to wacth on tv best combination aye.
    Quote Originally Posted by sunhuntin View Post
    damn man... sounds a bit like me after my near miss with the old bat. took forever for my heart to realise that its too young to die.

    good save mate, bet it looked awesome to any pedestrians etc. not often they get to see a crusty demon in training, lol.
    I wish there were pedestrians
    I would never attempt that again outside of deaths row. That front brake lever was not a stopping lever, but an upright lever!

    PHEW.
    Time for some goddamn Rammstein and hardhouse.
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  10. #10
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    Whoa man, glad you still with us. Its amazing what you can do in a situation like that without completely thinking about it. I used to ride trials and sometimes am really glad I did.

    I had a similar incident Boulcott St in Wellington. Was a rainy day, a car slowing to park and a car behind it crossed into my (oncoming) lane. I swerved left and did a thoroughly miraculous speedway slide to a stop (bike sideways and foot down) in front of a parked car. Missed the oncoming guy my inches and my leg was gently rested against the back bumper of the parked car.

    Hoovered down two smokes and treated the bike to a good clean.

    Rubberwise Pirelli sport demons are great and not badly priced.
    Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. -Samuel Johnson


  11. #11
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    HAha.... just had a good look at the map you drew. crikey ! what a maniac that stationwagon was. damn it gets me riled up!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Insanity_rules View Post
    Whoa man, glad you still with us. Its amazing what you can do in a situation like that without completely thinking about it. I used to ride trials and sometimes am really glad I did.

    I had a similar incident Boulcott St in Wellington. Was a rainy day, a car slowing to park and a car behind it crossed into my (oncoming) lane. I swerved left and did a thoroughly miraculous speedway slide to a stop (bike sideways and foot down) in front of a parked car. Missed the oncoming guy my inches and my leg was gently rested against the back bumper of the parked car.

    Hoovered down two smokes and treated the bike to a good clean.

    Rubberwise Pirelli sport demons are great and not badly priced.
    I'd have been gone were it wet for me!
    I sure do hope you managed to get some pedestrians in for the show! Foot down and skimming the road. I'm sure you had fun amongst the inpending doom eh?

    These Pirelli units don't appear to come in my size. Bugger.
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  13. #13
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    Shit mate where do you live? Remind me not to live there.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slyer View Post
    Shit mate where do you live? Remind me not to live there.
    More than one area away from Beachaven will do the trick.
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  15. #15
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    What I can't figure is that you had just stopped facing in the direction the dickhead was traveling in, so why didn't you chase the fucker down and him?


    P.S. Nice move
    "Atomic batteries to power...turbines to speed..."
    - Page 14 of the Buell Owners Manual

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