Biker life as we knew it is over...

**Conquiztador** · 12th February 2009, 23:24

- There is this "metric system" that makes a 1/2 inch spanner 13 mill
- The back wheel is driven by a rubber belt. (Fuck me dead!!!)
- The petrol taps do not work when turned to "on". They need a vacuum from a bike that does not start because the petrol taps are not providing petrol as there is no vacuum as the motor is not running...
- You can't adjust the carbi. There is none...
- You cant take the tyre off and fix the tube, There is none...
- If you grease the cables they seize!

What have I missed?

Add here:

**SARGE** · 12th February 2009, 23:30

my 84 FJ1100 had self canceling turn signals.. my 93 doesn't

fuel gauges..

digital clocks..

kick starts..

GAH!!

**Max Preload** · 12th February 2009, 23:37

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- There is this "metric system" that makes a 1/2 inch spanner 13 mill

Don't forget the 3/4" is now 19mm...

Originally Posted by SARGE

my 84 FJ1100 had self canceling turn signals.. my 93 doesn't

Ditto for my FZ750. WTF! And electric fuel switches.

**ducatilover** · 12th February 2009, 23:39

it doesnt start by hitting it to reset the timing

oh and that vacum thing? the spada is a c*nt for that

**Big Dave** · 12th February 2009, 23:42

Don't care.

1 horsepower per 1 kilogram if I want it and I have a nice stereo in my helmet.

**Conquiztador** · 13th February 2009, 00:06

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Don't care.

1 horsepower per 1 kilogram if I want it and I have a nice stereo in my helmet.

We live in different worlds.

**Edbear** · 13th February 2009, 06:10

Carefully setting the timing advance lever when starting to (try) and avoid the kickback...

Being very fussy with this usually served to lull one into a false sense of security so that when the bike did kick back visciously, one's foot was fully on the kickstarter and took the full brunt of it causing heavy bruising and resulting in a foot too sore to change gear. (right side gear lever)...

**Pwalo** · 13th February 2009, 06:23

And who can forget the delights of kick starting a hot 500cc single. I love my all electric, all metric, FI bike.

**sinfull** · 13th February 2009, 06:27

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

We live in different worlds.

But his hands are clean now too ! Ever seen a mechs keyboard ? You can not be a writer if you have to work on your bikes !

**Conquiztador** · 14th February 2009, 13:31

Originally Posted by sinfull

But his hands are clean now too ! Ever seen a mechs keyboard ? You can not be a writer if you have to work on your bikes !

So that would then answer the question why I need a job to support those two...

**imdying** · 14th February 2009, 14:01

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- There is this "metric system" that makes a 1/2 inch spanner 13 mill

1/2 inch, what's that?

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- The back wheel is driven by a rubber belt. (Fuck me dead!!!

Only on gay bikes

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- The petrol taps do not work when turned to "on". They need a vacuum from a bike that does not start because the petrol taps are not providing petrol as there is no vacuum as the motor is not running...

That'd be the prime position you're looking for.

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- You can't adjust the carbi. There is none...

And that'd be the power commander you're looking for.

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- You cant take the tyre off and fix the tube, There is none...

A blessing if your bike isn't slow

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

- If you grease the cables they seize!

There's a correct product for every job

Originally Posted by Conquiztador

What have I missed?

Add here:

Logic?

**MIXONE** · 14th February 2009, 14:06

There was always something cool about kicking a bike into life.
Now I have to make do with kicking the wife into life.

**Bonez** · 14th February 2009, 14:08

I'll take metric any day. I was scarred for life using "imperial" on Pom and Yank a/c.

Have you not fitted tubes to tubeless tires?

Belt final drives around before chain drive, rubber has just taken over from leather.

Some fuel taps usually have a "prime" position(but imdying has covered that I see).

Goody now I don't get as dirty fitting cables.

No mention of the clipper slutch...................shame on you!

**McJim** · 14th February 2009, 14:13

Just buy an older bike. There were some perfectly good machines on the market 20 years ago - properly looked after they are as much fun today as they were then. the trick is not to go on group rides too often as it becomes a pissing contest where people want to show off the fact that they have this year's model.

**MIXONE** · 14th February 2009, 14:16

Originally Posted by McJim

Just buy an older bike. There were some perfectly good machines on the market 20 years ago - properly looked after they are as much fun today as they were then. the trick is not to go on group rides too often as it becomes a pissing contest where people want to show off the fact that they have this year's model.

Group rides scare the crap out of me!