Bike related truisms

**vifferman** · 3rd March 2009, 11:46

Bugs have an irresistible and fatal attraction to newly-polished visors.

The best way to remove lint and crumbs from your pocket is to put your earplugs in it.

Yes, those bike pants do make your bum look big.

No, there isn't enough petrol in the tank to skip filling up until the next service station.

A bike chain is specifically designed to return chain lubes to their original constituent ingredient: dinosaur spooge. This then evolves into little chain spooge barnacles that cling to various parts of your bike's wheels, paintwork, and your bike gear.

The expensive cleaners you buy for your bike are designed expressly to provide a perfect and clean substrate for chain spooge barnacles to adhere to your bike.

**HenryDorsetCase** · 3rd March 2009, 12:04

Originally Posted by Tank

truisms (an obvious truth).

* If you are going to fall off getting on / off your bike - it will be in front of a hot girl / guy.

or in the pits at a raceday/trackday.

**Mikkel** · 3rd March 2009, 12:04

You will never learn to stop and put on your rain oversuit until your leathers are soaked and you are already sitting in a puddle.

**HenryDorsetCase** · 3rd March 2009, 12:06

Originally Posted by Swoop

When the bladder is REALLY telling you to pull over and take a wizz, there is zero cover as far as you can see. Might as well be riding in the Arizona desert for flatness, so you have to wave at the passing motorist's as you moisten the ground.

I just wave my cock at them. It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple, so generally they're impressed.

**puddytat** · 3rd March 2009, 12:10

If you think about a cop, you generally do see one

If you think that you'll not see a cop, you generally do...

When putting your bike back together, it'll be when your putting the last bit on that you realise that you have to go back a few pieces ,to actually get that last bit on....

**GOPSTER** · 3rd March 2009, 12:27

You will catch up to a slow cage just before the twisties and every straight with have a car coming the other way.

**Insanity_rules** · 3rd March 2009, 12:58

1) When you decide yes you will listen to your ipod under your helmet, every basket under the sun will want to talk to you.

2) When you don't pack your wets, it'll rain

3) Just when your doing something stupid, the police will show up

4) Just when someone does something stupid to you, you won't see a cop for miles

5) Just when you decide for a new years prank you'll ride your bike through a camp ground nude.... You'll bump into the camp ground owner in the middle of the camps driveway.

**jim.cox** · 3rd March 2009, 13:15

Anton's Law: If it has tits or wheels, it will cause you trouble in the end

Jim's Corollary: If it flys, floats or fucks, you're better off renting it

**Max Preload** · 3rd March 2009, 13:34

The one and only time you accidently completely run out of fuel because the last time you filled up you forgot to change the fuel tap over, it will be at 2am on the Auckland motorway, southbound just before Mt Wellington (uphill) on a bike weighing nearly 1/4 of a tonne when the starter is flakey due to needing the brushes replaced.

True story...