Bike related truisms

[Mystic13]

You only ever forget the disc lock when you have an audience.

You only ever forget to turn the fuel cock on when traffic is heavier.

If you're unsure which road to take when lost, it's usually the other one.

Tyres always goes down when you pull the nail out.

When you go for a group ride with strangers, there's always one idiot.

[Mystic13]

Lady motorcycle riders always look hot in leathers.

Leather doesn't stretch (as much as you want it to).

Older guys with pots always think they look good in leathers.

[Mystic13]

Always get a haircut before buying a new helmet.

Cordura (textile) motorcycle gear is not waterproof.

There is no such thing as a waterproof glove.

Never carry a banana in your back pack.

[Mystic13]

A year ago you never knew as much about riding as you thought you did.

Tyres never have enough tread to do that last trip before changing.

Love is... having a biker for a partner.

[Karl@Alpha]

It will rain when you wash your bike.

[slofox]

When you make special arrangements to get to ride over that twisty mountain road, there will be roadworks all the way...(like last bloody Tuesday...)

[BOGAR]

Any time you have have an hour to spare before a ride and you start a 5 minute job, it will make you late.

[Swoop]

Never carry a banana in your back pack.

Why?
I have one for lunch most days and have never had a problem carrying it loose in a backpack.
Or is this a superstition like when fishing?

[glice]

If you think you've lost the keys and are hours away from home, you will only find them after you have hot wired the bike.

[madbikeboy]

No, lost keys are always in the side of the bike (for the pillion seat cover). But this rule only works when you've looked everywhere else and already removed all your leathers, and in front of people. Lots of people.

Tire shops will always have the right tire, but it's always the wrong size.

[MarkH]

There is no such thing as a waterproof glove.

That is what the advertising for Rain-off overgloves said, so I bought them and they really do work as good as they say.

[Headbanger]

Big Dave is exceptionally cool.

And humble.

[Skyryder]

You always get a ticket when you can least afford it..

You been riding all day no speeding and bored out of ya mind. No cars in sight nothing. so you blip the throttle just to clear the cobwebs and up ahead is cop waving you down.

Skyyrder

[Kemet]

if you stall with a flat battery it will be on a motorway onramp (uphill so you cant jump start) in peak hour while you are near the front of the queue resulting in you having to wheel your bike backwards down the onramp. (personal experience haha)

Funny that.... I 've the odd occasion where the bike won't start and i'll be fcing uphill....

Neat thing is, is that if I have enough spacebehind me I can start the bikewhile rolling it backwards. Not as easy as a forward rolling hill start as there is usually not enough gradient for it to roll without requiring effort to push it backwards....

When the bladder is REALLY telling you to pull over and take a wizz, there is zero cover as far as you can see. Might as well be riding in the Arizona desert for flatness, so you have to wave at the passing motorist's as you moisten the ground.

This situation is even MORE likely to occur when you are of the feminine persuasion as said necessary stop usually requires one to partially disrobe, thereby revealing a (sometimes ample) round area to be displayed to all and sundry, of which there will be many, that choose that particular stretch of road at that partcular moment to drive by..... by which time you are totally committed to the act of relief and are unable to cease....

Did I leave anything out???

needing to pee as soon as all your gear is on

Corollary: needing to pee after exposure to low temperatures, usually prefaced by the donning of aforementioned apparel that then requires removal.....

[LBD]

Get kitted up, jump on the bike reach for the key...bugger its in your inside back pocket.

Always find the biggest splatiest insect with a newly cleaned visor.

Flat tyre/breakdown risk increases with remoteness or lateness.

Headlight globe will last forever if riding daylight hours only.

The only route home with your freshly detailed bike includes miles of dairy country just after milking time.

The only time your tank wont make 250km is when it is 220km between open servos.

Toilet stops are usually required 1/2 way between servos.

Seldom rains if you start out with your WWG on. (And vice versa)

When needing a rare part...had one on the shelf for years and sold it only last week

When he says...There are no more highway police for 200km...he did not mention the hidden speed camera 20km away.