Techno waffle BS blurb from sales department

[Conquiztador]

Often the sales waffle has so much BS in it that could have been said in simple language so everyone could understand.

Had my early morning cuppa and came across an article re the new Honda VFR1200F. I had to read much of it twice (even three times) before I made sense out of it.

In the article she is called "Pulsating". "The bikes sculptured styling includes a patented layered fairing design which works in harmony with the fueltank..."

"A strongly defined X-shape characterises the frontal design..."

"This compact solution optimises mass centralisation which contributes to the machine's balanced feel and ease of control."

"...a throttle by-wire-system that provides precise fuel metering at all engine parameters."

Or maybe I should have stayed in bed and started the day later?

[Pedrostt500]

Or just had another coffee, and used the soft pages in the out house.

[st00ji]

guess they gotta earn their salaries?

not much point in getting some qualification if writing 'looks mean az, goes hard bey!' is going to cut it as a review

[James Deuce]

They're just trying to avoid saying that's it's an ugly whale so packed with technology that it will explode and level your neighbourhood if you try and service it yourself.

They're also apologising for completely fucking up the concept of a Honda VFR.

[Headbanger]

Often the sales waffle has so much BS in it that could have been said in simple language so everyone could understand.

Had my early morning cuppa and came across an article re the new Honda VFR1200F. I had to read much of it twice (even three times) before I made sense out of it.

In the article she is called "Pulsating". "The bikes sculptured styling includes a patented layered fairing design which works in harmony with the fueltank..."

"A strongly defined X-shape characterises the frontal design..."

"This compact solution optimises mass centralisation which contributes to the machine's balanced feel and ease of control."

"...a throttle by-wire-system that provides precise fuel metering at all engine parameters."

Or maybe I should have stayed in bed and started the day later?

Speak English man, I have no idea what your post is even about.

[Blackbird]

They're just trying to avoid saying that's it's an ugly whale so packed with technology that it will explode and level your neighbourhood if you try and service it yourself.

They're also apologising for completely fucking up the concept of a Honda VFR.

Couldn't agree more Jim; wouldn't touch it with yours

[vifferman]

Actually, even though it is waffle, it actually makes sense, once you do a bit of digging. However, I received an email this week from one of our software suppliers that was SO full of buzzwords and marketingspeak, that I couldn't understand what it was about, and had to post on the user forum to ask for a translation. It took me right back to the early 90s, when the IT marketing bullshit was all "paradigms" and "user interfaces", but mostly turned out to be unexpected technical glitches in the demos.

However, if the VFR1200 was like, say, the Ducati 916 or 1098, or the MV line, no superlatives, buzzwords or turd-polishing would be necessary. If they'd employed a halfway decent design team )or even if they hadn't fitted that FUGLY zorst), it would sell itself. Oh - if it was heavily discounted. Indications are that the price is going to be in the BMW arean.

[Gremlin]

On the tech side, I've had a plethora of website developers keep on talking to me about "hosting platforms". Sometimes simplifying things allows too many drongos in.

Tis easy... Honda are saying you should buy a KTM, read it again, its really obvious I should know, I ride a Honda and a KTM.

[2wheeldrifter]

Often the sales waffle has so much BS in it that could have been said in simple language so everyone could understand.

Had my early morning cuppa and came across an article re the new Honda VFR1200F. I had to read much of it twice (even three times) before I made sense out of it.

In the article she is called "Pulsating". Has a vibration "The bikes sculptured styling includes a patented layered fairing design which works in harmony with the fueltank..." Fits close to fuel tank with no gaps

"A strongly defined X-shape characterises the frontal design..." looks like an X - D'oh! wants to be in the next X-men movie

"This compact solution optimises mass centralisation which contributes to the machine's balanced feel and ease of control." It's small and lite

"...a throttle by-wire-system that provides precise fuel metering at all engine parameters." good fuel economy
Or maybe I should have stayed in bed and started the day later?

..............

[Conquiztador]

Or perhaps now when I am fully awake:

In the article she is called "Pulsating". = "The motor is crap and the frame soft. Sorry guys..."

"The bikes sculptured styling includes a patented layered fairing design which works in harmony with the fueltank..." = "She's a fuckin bitza!"

"A strongly defined X-shape characterises the frontal design..."= The forks are like 2-minute noodles so we had to fit a brace"

"This compact solution optimises mass centralisation which contributes to the machine's balanced feel and ease of control." = We got this cheap Chinese frame that we managed to squeeze the motor in to. OK, so it was for a 250cc. And we used the Chinese controls too..."

"...a throttle by-wire-system that provides precise fuel metering at all engine parameters." = We used this system on the CB350's in the 1960's so it is proven!"

[Swoop]

Had my early morning cuppa and came across an article re the new Honda VFR1200F. I had to read much of it twice (even three times) before I made sense out of it.

Some of us have been watching this development and hearing rumours for some time now...
Glad to see that the marketing team at Honda are enthusiastic about the project. Dunno about the riders though.

[James Deuce]

Some of us have been watching this development and hearing rumours for some time now...
Glad to see that the marketing team at Honda are enthusiastic about the project. Dunno about the riders though.

Did they not notice what BMW did with the K1300S, R, and GT?

[Swoop]

Did they not notice what BMW did with the K1300S, R, and GT?

All they had to know was that "you meet the nicest people on a honda".
Luckily they are blind people... they will have to be to appreciate the 1200.

[Robert Taylor]

Often the sales waffle has so much BS in it that could have been said in simple language so everyone could understand.

Had my early morning cuppa and came across an article re the new Honda VFR1200F. I had to read much of it twice (even three times) before I made sense out of it.

In the article she is called "Pulsating". "The bikes sculptured styling includes a patented layered fairing design which works in harmony with the fueltank..."

"A strongly defined X-shape characterises the frontal design..."

"This compact solution optimises mass centralisation which contributes to the machine's balanced feel and ease of control."

"...a throttle by-wire-system that provides precise fuel metering at all engine parameters."

Or maybe I should have stayed in bed and started the day later?

The sad thing is that many sales people actually believe it. ''Its got race bred suspension'' Yeah right, distant cousin several times removed?

[rie]

This reminds me of a review I read about the ducati monster 400:

"a narrow and elusive neutral position, coupled to a neutral light which lies like a politician..."

more amusing than misleading, though.