A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,
"Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"
Bitch from Hell
A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,
"Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"
Life is a gift that we have all been given. Live life to the full and ensure that you have absolutely no
regrets.
For your parts needs:
http://www.motorcycleparts.co.nz/
Forum whore
You had me at 'Highly inappropriate'
Forum whore
It's not a joke. Librarians are really like that. They don't even need to be Glaswegian to answer like that.
If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?
Forum whore
That does not follow. He might have wanted to read it there, not take it out.
Originally Posted by skidmark
3825 67 944779 (oh yeah)
Its true - Even in death a scot will do anything to avoid the late return fee.
tight bastards!
salty dog
How do you know you took out a Scottish cookbook?
It starts with:
You borrow an egg.....
Opinions are like arseholes: Everybody has got one, but that doesn't mean you got to air it in public all the time....
Loud and Uncouth
Plurry hell bro, a good thing us Scots ain't sensetive or PC eh??
Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
" Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"
Forum whore
It's the ginga ones you have to watch out for.
If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?
Psyclepath
Why are 50p pieces shaped like that?
So you can get them out of a scotsman's hand with a spanner...
Only a homo puts an engine back together WITHOUT making it go faster.
BIA MMC
They say copper wire was invented by 2 Scotsmen fighting over a penny (courtesy of The Big Yin - Billy Connolly)
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin
Smarty pants... since ages ago
You can't be a scot... LONG arm of the law....etc.Plurry hell bro, a good thing us Scots ain't sensetive or PC eh??
Scots have SHORT arms... and deep pockets...
When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...
Moped rider
No self respecting hairy arsed Jock can let this go unanswered.........so.........
A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The Kiwi says, "You're bullshitting me!"
The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
Take that......
"I expect to pass through this life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again" William Penn (1644 - 1718)
Kiwi Sweets
You obviously know my uncle then!
yep, scots chick here and I have to agree some scots can be tight-assed!
Return Of The Black Panther
LOL, love it. Ya know us so well.... but a real Kiwi would have found some reason he couldn't do the job (ya know bad back, no licience, etc)Now where's that Tui's
New Zealand......
The Best Place in the World to live if ya Broke
"Whole life balance, Daniel-San" ("Karate Kid")
Kia kaha, kia toa, kia manawanui ( Be strong, be brave, be steadfast and sure)
DON'T RIDE LIKE YA STOLE IT, RIDE TO SURVIVE.
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