Mental breakdowns: recognising one in progress?

[Mikkel]

Anyone fancy a pint?

[CookMySock]

Not your problem. Don't you have enough to do or something?

Yeah my sister is completely off the fucking rails too.. It's not my heart attack.


Steve

[MyGSXF:Me]

she could do with some professional attention in my opinion. Whether you can get her to take it, is another matter. You might well find her highly resistant to this.

x2!!

You could try to find out some info from your local "Women's House" (if there is one where you live), a councillor, or the Mental Health Unit at your local hospital..

However, remember you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.. she might be highly offended if you "try to help her".. it's up to her to help herself.. she is not your "responsibility"

Might pay to look quietly into trying to buy her out of your house....

[DarkLord]

Sounds like my ex landlord. Psycho bitch who couldn't hold on to a relationship, or a job, and blamed everyone else for her own mistakes. Cold and ruthless at best.

My advice - get the hell out ASAP. It's just a matter of time till she turns on you.

[AllanB]

On reflection, I think a nice holiday in Mexico would do her a world of good.......

[RantyDave]

Not cool, can you buy her out?

Agreed with the swinging one - unemployed, skint psychopath who owns part of your house = OPPORTUNITY!!

[RantyDave]

Yeah my sister is completely off the fucking rails too.. It's not my heart attack.

WTF, she's your sister, not some random pie eater. Don't we have family for, y'know, a reason?

Dave

[Kemet]

Like some of the others have said with regard to the house, can you find some way of buying out her share? If you can't afford it at the moment is there someone you trust that would be willing to help you out with the money so you can. If she is really worried about money at the moment it may make her more responsive to selling her equity in the house.

If things are going to get a little difficult between you both - IF - then it's not a good idea to have the equity thing hanging over your heads.

With her mental state, I think you know already that there is not a hell of a lot you can do until she wants to do something. 'Be there' for her if you want to be there and think you can handle it. If you don't think you can handle it don't 'be there' however because you think you must. It won't be healthy or helpful for either of you.


Do you have an Employee Assistance Program where you work that you can use to get some advice? Even though it is your sister having the larger problem it isn't making your life very easy and is a perfectly valid reason (I reckon) to use EAP.

my 5c

Good luck

[DarkLord]

With people who are obviously in that sort of state, you need to realize that the only person who can change them, is themselves. Nothing will change until she takes a good look in the mirror and realizes what is going on, and starts taking responsibility for her own actions. If people have something in their lives they are running from (as she is trying to) it will just keep on catching up with them, it is not going to get resolved until she turns and faces her own truth. It is very hard and frustrating to be around someone who is consistently looking in the wrong direction for the answers to their problems and is not learning anything.

I am sorry to hear that you are in this position. I wish you the best of luck.

[Ixion]

People accuse me of most of that stuff .. Most of the time ..

Problem is .. Its been over 30 years ..

Maybe im just a dick...

It's taken you 30 years to figure that ? Most everybody else figured it within 30 seconds of meeting you

[MotoGirl]

I see a few of you have mentioned the possibility of buying her out of our house. Believe me, we have thought about this and it has cost us many hours of headaches!

The problem is that her expectations of the house's worth is somewhat different to what the market considers it to be worth (there's about a $40K variance). The house was bought about two years ago not long before the prices started dropping. We haven't got an independent valuation because they are too expensive so we have listed it on the market to get feedback from that. She wouldn't trust an independent valuation anyway because she has a number in her mind.

Even though an agent has received feedback from potential buyers saying it's only worth x amount, she is determined that it is worth more and she won't budge. We could only buy out her share if we pay far too much for it.

Edit: I should also add that she is sitting pretty and effectively has more money than anyone else I know. Not all of us have the luxury of living in an expensive and freehold house! The obsession with money comes from her being in her 50's with no work experience and also refusing to go out and get a job. She's trying to scrape together cash for her retirement fund so she doesn't have to earn it herself.

[MotoGirl]

WTF, she's your sister, not some random pie eater. Don't we have family for, y'know, a reason?

Dave

There's a fine line between having family and asking for constant headaches. I often wonder whether life would be easier without some of them!

[sidecar bob]

To call her “obsessed” with money would be an understatement – she will shaft anyone for the all-elusive dollar and I believe she resents anyone that has it.

Thats a familiar stand out loser trait. Alarm bells should be ringing.

[MotoGirl]

x2!!

You could try to find out some info from your local "Women's House" (if there is one where you live), a councillor, or the Mental Health Unit at your local hospital..

Good idea. I regularly deal with a guy from Mental Health (BOPDHB is a client) so I might ask him if there's anyone I could ask about it. How convenient!

However, remember you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.. she might be highly offended if you "try to help her".. it's up to her to help herself.. she is not your "responsibility"

Yes, many folks have said the same thing in this thread. You are dead right when you say she will be offended if we try to help her. I also think the term "defensive" is appropriate because she is so deluded that she believes everything happens to her without any of her own input.

[MyGSXF:Me]

I also think the term "defensive" is appropriate because she is so deluded that she believes everything happens to her without any of her own input.

Denial is a very powerful tool!! Unfortunately some people live in their own little worlds.. totally oblivious to the trail of chaos they leave in their wake!

As mentioned earlier, this kind of behaviour would suggest that she has very deep issues with insecurity, low confidence & very low self esteem. Some people with those traits often tend to reverse this & display outwardly by being bullies, control freaks & are often aggressive or passive people (both are manipulative). They NEED to be in control of everyone & everything around them.. in order to feel "safe" in their own little worlds.

Being defensive is a coping mechanism.. they will try & show "I'll get you" before you can "get them" type of behaviour.

Anger comes from fear, frustration, hurt & grief

She's one mixed up woman inside. I would suggest you get some support for yourself while you deal with things as well, as the ripples from her wake will be having an impact emotionally on you guys as well.

remember she is not your responsibility!