Where are the Taste Police when you really need them?

**Hitcher** · 30th April 2009, 11:11

Originally Posted by Murray

The question is would you not have seen it with your little eye, or noticed it at all, if it had not been so dressed!!!

Now here's the thing. I remember once reading some research that showed that the most conspicuous vehicle on the road was, wait for it, a motorcycle cop.

And here's another Hitcher Theory(TM).

I reckon that the most conspicuous thing a motorcyclist could wear would be Harry Potter's Cloak Of Invisibility. Motorists, and any other observer for that matter, would instantly focus on the apparently riderless motorcycle and marvel in amazement.

"Who the fuck is riding that?" they would exclaim.

And Hitcher knows full well the difference between fluoro and flowero, just as he knows full well the difference between and garage and a gargre. Well, he would if he was actually a real person and not merely a cliched Internet meme.

**Badjelly** · 30th April 2009, 11:18

Originally Posted by Hitcher

No. It was a flouro vest in the shape of a cross with...

Coloured lights.

Blue ones...

Where can I get one?

**vifferman** · 30th April 2009, 11:31

Originally Posted by Hitcher

And Hitcher knows full well the difference between fluoro and flowero, just as he knows full well the difference between and garage and a gargre. Well, he would if he was actually a real person and not merely a cliched Internet meme.

I am almost (but not quite!) reassured of the non-imposterosityness of the Hitcher that posted that.
On the other hand, I don't care.
On the other other hand (or is it another limb extremity?), I would like to say this, about the alleged Hitcher seeing an alleged LED-lit preposterosity:

**Ixion** · 30th April 2009, 12:21

If you see it again, can you find out where they may be had? And there is no law against the *rider* wearing blue lights, only against the *bike* having them fitted. A pedantic distinction, true, but on such lawyers grow fat.

**Hitcher** · 30th April 2009, 12:52

Originally Posted by Ixion

If you see it again, can you find out where they may be had?

On that basis I may have to engage the wearer in lighthearted banter before I club them to death. I suppose there is sport it that...

I am sure the membership of ATGATT Inc have a catalogue with one of these monstrosities in it.

And I do have a witness, if they are prepared to admit to having witnessed a Crime Against Sensibility.

**James Deuce** · 30th April 2009, 12:58

I did witness it. I threw up a little and there is still a piece of carrot lodged in one of my sinuses.

Did it make him any more visible? Not from the front or sides, the places where most motobicyclists are muntered from.

Did it really make him no more visible.? I maintain I see these things simply because my brain is as hardwired to look for bikes as it is cleavage.

**Mikkel** · 30th April 2009, 13:07

I prescribe a healthy dose of aged single-malts - the only known medicine for PSTD - to both of you poor bastards.

**Sully60** · 30th April 2009, 19:33

Originally Posted by Maha

Are you sure it wasn't Sully going to work??

There's only one colour I had on the outside last night was B-84P, I'd rather drive a Honda than wear a flouro vest!

**James Deuce** · 30th April 2009, 19:37

Saw a Burgman rider all kitted out ATTGATT and sitting bolt upright, wearing fluoro vest proudly - and the darkest mofo of a visor you've ever seen in heavy traffic, mild wind and heavy rain. Oh, it was a bit dark too.

Burning time approaches, children.

**Hitcher** · 1st May 2009, 08:50

Originally Posted by Sully60

There's only one colour I had on the outside last night was B-84P

Is that a colour? I thought it was a position.

**The Pastor** · 1st May 2009, 10:03

Originally Posted by vifferman

I call "Bogusness", or "Imposterosity".
The real Hitcher would never write "flouro".

I hate my fluoro vest-attachment-thingo. Despite its minimalist size, and non-flappiness, it is turrbl for collecting road spooge.
And it fux me off coz it's so.... so.... PC.

I only wear it attached to my ghey Macna jacket because the vifferbabe bought the jacket, and she asked me to wear it, perhaps because she's concerned for my Safety, or perhaps because she wants me to look like a FluoroDork.
I wear it only because it seems to sometimes cause brain-dead car drivers to make way for me, presumably because they think I'm some sort of Official or Officious Motorbicycle Rider, like a Police Motorbicyclist or Paranormal Person or Summat.

kawhipsih!

thats the sound of being whipped.

**Badjelly** · 1st May 2009, 10:11

Originally Posted by James Deuce

Did it make him any more visible? Not from the front or sides, the places where most motobicyclists are muntered from.

There's an easy solution to that: wear it back-to-front It'll be the new fashion amongst hard-core bikers in a few weeks, mark my words. Just remember, you heard it here first.

**martybabe** · 1st May 2009, 11:20

Well gents it would seem that you certainly noticed the guy, which I guess is kinda the idea isn't it. The photo sensitive epilepsy,nausea and bad taste aside, the fellah stood out enough to get his own thread, so if standing out was his goal, he's a winner. Good taste apparel, maybe not

In Englandtown this garish stuff is commonly known as 'Dayglo', because few can spell flouroniminicent clothing, amongst the crueller types in the emergency services, it shall be known as 'Gayglo', continently disliked it would seem.

Far more effective are coloured headlamp covers, especially the blue ones, no doubt illegal but you can see the buggers from miles away and you can walk around without causing innocent people to chuck their breakfasts.