When is verbal or physical domestic violence understandable?

[Winston001]

First off, I have an issue with the term "verbal abuse". Abuse means 'to harm'. If words can be abusive then the most abusive word is "NO".

Its a common misunderstanding about the power of words. The old saying "stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is wrong.

I know of people still bitter 20 years after harsh or cruel words were spoken to them. Verbal abuse can emotionally cripple a person particularly a child. Much of the work counsellors do involves healing psychological wounds, not physical damage.

A broken bone will heal and be forgotten but a nasty comment echoes on and on..........

[SixPackBack]

Not sure if I understanding what you mean there, sorry.

When someone is being abused they are also being emotionally/phsycologically abused. It can be subtle.
It can cause mental impairment and leave them in a weaken state of wellbeing, self-concept.

So what I'm trying to say, though not very well, is that that the 'words' are accompanied with certain types of behaviour that the Abuser inflicts on their victim to obtain 'control'. The harm (power) of the 'words' can come from how they are delivered.



Physical abuse can also occur in the workplace, social groups, peer groups etc, so no 'love' there necessarily.

Abuse is a behaviour & we all have different coping mechanisms.

Your right, love does means putting someone else's welfare above your own.

I think you are saying why hang around if someone is treating you or yours this way.
How much time have you got. I hope you have been able to read the variuos threads. It'll give you some insight into the environments some of us have been or are in.

(oh god I type slow)

Its a common misunderstanding about the power of words. The old saying "stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is wrong.

I know of people still bitter 20 years after harsh or cruel words were spoken to them. Verbal abuse can emotionally cripple a person particularly a child. Much of the work counsellors do involves healing psychological wounds, not physical damage.

A broken bone will heal and be forgotten but a nasty comment echoes on and on..........

'Abuse'.....an over used PC term that all too often shifts blame from those that choose to take exception to a comment. In this nanny state how often do we stop to ask if the individual that complains about verbal abuse [and verbal abuse is what I'm talking about here] is actually a precocious, cry baby.

Animated arguing is a fact of life. Debating teams as I remember, are a part of schooling and only just fall short of abuse by some individuals measures.

As with the various KB threads on mental illness, individuals need to first take a three month full strength course of harden the fuck up before proclaiming they are the victim of verbal abuse.

For those that doubt the sanity of my post, get hold of a copy of 'your erroneous zones' for unarguable logic on the subject of blame appropriation. This book has sold over 30 million copies and remains one of the top selling books of all times.

[cc rider]

'Abuse'.....an over used PC term that all too often shifts blame from those that choose to take exception to a comment. In this nanny state how often do we stop to ask if the individual that complains about verbal abuse [and verbal abuse is what I'm talking about here] is actually a precocious, cry baby.
As with the various KB threads on mental illness, individuals need to first take a three month full strength course of harden the fuck up before proclaiming they are the victim of verbal abuse.

I guess some people just don't know what the fuck they are talking about & yet they talk

[SixPackBack]

I guess some people just don't know what the fuck they are talking about & yet they talk

WAAAAAAAHHH..........bet you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Research the book before you make a judgement call.

[cc rider]

WAAAAAAAHHH..........bet you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Research the book before you make a judgement call.

Don't be a dick.

Try getting out in the real world before you make your judgement calls.

[SixPackBack]

Don't be a dick.

Try getting out in the real world before you make your judgement calls.

Carefull women that looks like abuse to me.
Have you googled the book??.........you should do, it could change your life

[Subike]

QUOTE=Winston001;2037611 Agreed in general. Most of us do control ourselves. However consider:

A man or woman who discovers they have been betrayed by their partner.....
Being constantly accused of being unfaithful, yet there is no foundation or evidence to the accusation......

A man or woman who is denied access to their children....
Having a partner who abuses your previous relationships child when visitation happens, in such a subtle way, that the child no longer wants to visit you out of fear of your new partner

A man or woman who is falsely accused of sexually assaulting their children...
Accusations of improper suggestions and actions after her adult married daughter visits, or any of her friends that visit. God forbid you have a female friend!!!!! thats is just a friend

A man or woman who is constantly criticized and treated with contempt by their partner.....
How can you be consistent when you are judged on what is conciderd normal??
And the continuous "why can’t you be a normal man” statement, (does such a being exist?)

The same hurt man or woman who is drunk.....
Or on drugs, be the illicit or prescribed, anti depressants can bring wicked mood changes, as can drugs prescribed for meapouse

We are all human and have our breaking points.

And lots of you say, "Walk away" when it’s heated or stress becomes boiling point
How can you do that when if you do walk away or take time out, it leads to more accusations about "where did you go, who was she, who did you tell, you are running away ", being the fuel for the fire when you return?????

And then the bubble bursts, next thing your in handcuffs, in court, in jail, and all you did was try to love this person to the best of your ability.
Is domestic violence OK, NO,
Is verbal/emotional abuse OK, NO
But please don’t be blind to the fact it is as much women against men as it is men against women.


I am not a woman hater, I believe I respect them properly, I hope one day I will find one I can love. As of yet I have not found one who knows how to be truly honest, or truly respectfull, white lies are lies, hidden closets ar not weapons, honesty goes BOTH ways when demanded. Yes the truth hurts, accept it yourself first.

Oh bahh humbug!!

[cc rider]

Oh bahh humbug!!

Feeling that way myself today.

signed

Grumpy Bitch

[Patrick]

Or perhaps the workings of an ubiased observer.....

You're losing cred rapidly here pal. "Holier than thou" and all that.

HUH??? Dunno where that came from... but I sleep well at night.

It's endemic with the police and you're a prime example (if comments like that are your credos) of the po-leese lifestyle. Pull your fuckin' head in before I make flu connections.

Vex.Lit my arse! That pisses me off. Sometimes you say sensible things and I know we've agreed/disagreed in the past but Vex Lit? That epitomises the self righteous copper to a T. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Very ghey.... but if the shoe fits you.... Self righteous my arse.

(And I've been for ride today, observing the rules, no hurry, taking in the suuny autumn rays........had a goodie. Then someone comes along and does what?)

I'm going out to buy a pack of Tamiflu...........to ward off the sneezing, coughing, dribbling pigs.

Patrick! If your post is indicative of the police attitude to PCA complaints; Suck my dick!

Very ghey again.... The Poice attitude to PCA is that they are investigated, with vigour. But YOU won't believe that. Blow yourself...

[peasea]

Very ghey again.... The Poice attitude to PCA is that they are investigated, with vigour. But YOU won't believe that. Blow yourself...

Poice?

Anyway; It's about believing what I see.

Go away, you smell.

[Patrick]

Poice?

Anyway; It's about believing what I see.

Go away, you smell.

That is the steam off my shit... and I didn't give you that, either.....

[peasea]

That is the steam off my shit... and I didn't give you that, either.....

Oh, pardon me, I got the impression your shit didn't stink, the way you pontificate. (That'll explain the alter boys.........)

[Patrick]

Oh, pardon me, I got the impression your shit didn't stink, the way you pontificate.

The alter boys are all yours.

Examples, Mr V.L???

[Patrick]

Thought so......

Nothing......

[NOWOOL]

My take is if the cops are going after you and you are innocent of the charges then nature is taking its course and punishing you for all your ills......ask yourself this question and post if you are innocent: have you ever wronged or stolen from someone.....do you take from others.......do you have bad luck?

if you can answer truthfully (not here but to yourself ) then you are your worst enemy and natural law as it equates to society is pushing you down and weeding you out.....don't blame others for you 'luck'.