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Thread: Ask Uncle for shit advice

  1. #1
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    Ask Uncle for shit advice

    Ok here is the premise
    As I am a noisy opinionated arsehole.
    I often give people advice that they neither want or ask for.
    So I have decided it is well time to start this agony uncle thread.
    Ask me what you should do I will give you a straight answer…One based on my years of f-ing up everyday situations........
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    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  2. #2
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    15th January 2009 - 10:26
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    Not sure, but Madness might still need some advice about his anal warts.
    Quote Originally Posted by James Deuce View Post
    Don't argue with the pigs, man. They'll tap your phones and steal your weed and make your old lady do things she won't do for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher View Post
    Sexually transmitted diseases are one thing, sexually affected carnage is something else entirely. Ladies, if his cock's that small that he's prepared to put you at risk for a root, look elsewhere. Seriously.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackdog View Post
    Not sure, but Madness might still need some advice about his anal warts.
    Do what you've always done in the past ... and lick them ...


    He said it has always worked in the past ...
    When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackdog View Post
    Not sure, but Madness might still need some advice about his anal warts.
    Quote Originally Posted by FJRider View Post
    Do what you've always done in the past ... and lick them ...


    He said it has always worked in the past ...
    First things first tell your sexual partners which by the subsequent posts Madness has .

    Then glue on some domes and call them piercings........
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    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  5. #5
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    Hey uncle hooser, I am thinking about buying a valiant. What is wrong with me?
    Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laava View Post
    Hey uncle hooser, I am thinking about buying a valiant. What is wrong with me?
    Your not very good at starting a name with a capital?

    The last year or two I've noticed that my nasal hair is growing profusely. Wax or trim?
    Manopausal.

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    Where do you keep the keys?
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by avgas View Post
    Where do you keep the keys?
    On the key ring. i think the question is where did you put them, ask ya wife she will find them, call it a conversation and it will accumulate brownie points, offer to help her look for bonus points.



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    The last year or two I've noticed that my nasal hair is growing profusely. Wax or trim?
    Use Veet it has great reviews.
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK
    Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. ............



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laava View Post
    Hey uncle hooser, I am thinking about buying a valiant. What is wrong with me?
    Ok i think you might be about to land a staring role in brokeback mountain.....
    Question is just which one should you buy .
    Ask you last conquest just how small your penis is, then decide if you need a Hemi Charger or not?



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    Your not very good at starting a name with a capital?

    The last year or two I've noticed that my nasal hair is growing profusely. Wax or trim?
    Apparently neither is named one...and questions:

    Mineral or synthetic?

    Wave or don't wave?

    Cruiser or sports?

    KB needs definitive answers, oh sage one. In fact I'm surprised there aren't threads about these already.
    Keep on chooglin'

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    Hey Uncle Hooser, what does it mean when the itchy bits happen in the underpants region?

    Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smifffy View Post
    Mineral or synthetic?
    baby oil extra virgin use only fresh babies......

    Quote Originally Posted by Smifffy View Post
    Wave or don't wave?
    hairsyles up to you, but the helmet should cover it

    Quote Originally Posted by Smifffy View Post
    Cruiser or sports?
    if you have to even consider cruisers i think you need a professional.



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  14. #14
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    ...why is it that sometimes life seems so superficial, boring and really getting to be like a second hand chocolate fish, when in reality we all know it is super exciting and loads and loads of fun, and sometime soon it will all unfold and and all your dreams and aspirations are just moments away from being fulfilled...

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzo View Post
    Hey Uncle Hooser, what does it mean when the itchy bits happen in the underpants region?
    It means its time to itch them in public like a real man............



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

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