Since a few dear people have gotten confused and think there's been a world wide 'Be A cunt' Holiday declared for all, so that they can leave all their social skills by the wayside as soon as they log in ..
Since those same persons are so up on other people not wasting their time, though they don't seem to have an issue when it's the reverse ...
I thought it would be in the best interest to go ahead and post some responses to their next possible tirades. That way, whenever they feel an attack of Cuntitis upon them, instead of them being unpleasant and attacking persons at random places throughout the site, they could just come here and select the comeback they feel is most suited to the situation.
1;* Sorry? Didn't understand that: I don't speak Fuckheadese!
2;* They have shots now to help with those mood swings you know?
3;* Hey! You aren't even on your knees.. so why the fuck do you think I gave you permission to use your mouth?
4;* Does your therapist know about these issues?
5* When you have more people on your friends list than I do, then I may consider your opinion on what everyone else feels about me.
6* If you read my profile, instead of just bitching free-style, you'd already know that answer!
7* And this is what not wasting anyone's time looks like, is it?
8* Yes, well, I have to bow to you : I couldn't type with my head up my arse, not the way you can!
9* It must save you a great deal on helmets, eh, having your head up your ass all day long?
10* But.. I must be attractive to idiots, anyway; or why did you return?
11*Look like a slut? Do I? Well, thank you. No, I mean it: your Mom is a beauty!
12* Life must really suck: it seems to have pulled your brain out!
13* Who died and made you Comment Sheriff?
14* I've been called worse, by better!
15* Ah, until you spoke I was never sure if ventriloquist's could throw their farts!
16* You are truly a parasite for sore eyes!
17* Some people can stay longer in minutes than others can in a week!
18* I need something from you: your absence!
19* If you ever become a parent, can I have one of the puppies?
20* Oh you're back! I was so miserable while you were away, I didn't even notice you were gone!
21* Too bad your mother didn't throw you away and keep the stork?
22* Out of that many sperm, you were the quickest?!!! Hard to believe!
23* Wow! What an intelligent comment. Who'd you steal it from?
24* You were born with your legs apart! They'll send you to your grave in a y-shaped coffin!
25* The trouble with some people is that they lack the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.
26* I really wish people would stop teaching their monkeys to type!
27* Because I cause happiness where I am, and you cause it wherever you just left!
28* You've got such a narrow mind that when you walk your earrings bang together!
29*zzzz ... wh..zzz ..w..what? Sorry I have a low tolerance for inanity.
30* I will always cherish the false image I had of you!
31* How much would it cost to buy back our first meeting so I could make it never happen?
32* Ah! What pleasure to hear from a self-made person who worships their creator.
33* You are not only dull, but it's been scientifically proven that you cause the dullness in others.
34* Waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity, are you?
35* You have a lovely, winning smile. Too bad the rest is all loser!
36* My but you'd make a lovely corpse!
37*You'll never go out of style: you're just as ridiculous from one year to the next!
38* The only flair you have is in your nostrils.
39*All your taste is in your mouth.
40*Usually I never forget a face; but in your case I'm hoping to make an exception!
41* You make me feel sorry .. for your clothes!
42* You're so ugly that if a Cop saw you taking off your helmet, he'd have no choice but to arrest you for indecent exposure.
43* You'll be difficult to forget, but well worth the effort!
44* So, as an outsider, what is your view of the human race?
45* I've seen people like you before, but never without paying the price of admission!
46* If you were ever told to just be yourself, chalk it up as bad advice!
47* You should get a window installed in your abdomen. That way, even though you keep your head up your arse all day, you could still see where you're going.
48* You'll never be half the man your mother was!
49* Please: you're so dumb, you could throw a rock at the ground and miss!
50* You, my friend, are as sharp as your average watermelon!
51* If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?
52*Everyone has the right to be stupid: but you're abusing yours!
53* I'm not being rude: you're just insignificant!
54* You're such a tight ass you probably squeak when you walk.
55* Dude, you couldn't figure out how to pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!
56* what's a matter? Get up on the wrong side of the bottle this morning?
57*I see that you set this time aside to humiliate yourself
58*I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter
59*There are two requirements to be a smart ass.Don't worry though, you got the second part down pat.
60*Mmm hmm .. and is that little drizzling commentary what passes for a brainstorm with you?
61*So.. how many Angels can dance on your head?
62*If I had a brother like you, I'd put myself up for adoption.
63*There are two things I really hate about you : your face!
64* There we have it, folks, from a man so dull he couldn't even cut his own fart!
65*I'd slap the crap out of you, if I didn't think it would fill up the room!
66* When you were made, they broke the mold! .... Then they hunted down the mold maker, dragged him through the streets, bludgeoned him a while, set him on fire, shot his dead body repeatedly, dismembered him and sent his hands and head to separate Continents to be cremated and buried, just to be sure that would never happen again.
67*If I throw a stick, will you go away?
68* It's okay to have an unexpressed thought! In your case, I recommend it!
69* Now now! I would never say you were ugly! I mean, yeah the bruises from where everyone keeps touching you with 10 foot poles are a little disconcerting, but I would never actually call you ugly.
70* You're a few clowns short of a circus.
71* Hah! You're so fat, when you fell in love you broke it!
72*Gee, I sure Wish your Mama had kept the placenta and ate you instead!
73*Ouch! Play nice! Remember some of us aren't rhinos and don't have the sort of skin for that behavior!
74* I would say you're an asshole, but that's hardly fair to pick on assholes that way!
75*If it's a waste of your time and you are the one who clinked the fucking link, then it's not me wasting your time, fucknut!
76*It takes a lot longer to type a post of an assholeish nature than it does to close a Window or click the 'Back' button.
77*And, as you can plainly see, it takes up a lot more of your time after you post it too. So save yourself the aggravation and when it comes to being an utter fucking worthless prick: just say no!
Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
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Or you could just ignore them!
Originally Posted by vifferman
Cheers John.
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