Couples separating

[MotoGirl]

Do you think if the wife has done the dirty and left her husband (for another bloke) that she should give her engagement and wedding rings back to him?

I'd let the wife keep the rings and they can come out of her share of the assets. I don't see what use a man would have for his wife's rings - it's unlikey he'd wear them.

As for why she's done this, my mother would suggest menopause (she blames everything on menopause). Mum had issues a few years ago and told me that she wanted to leave my father for one of her tutors. When she talks about it now, she reckons her hormones were all over the show, which made her think and talk crazy. Menopause must do something to women because mum is extremely prudish and anti sex but she wanted to shag a man she barely knew.

[jrandom]

mum is extremely prudish and anti sex...

Lucky Dad.

[avgas]

I'd let the wife keep the rings and they can come out of her share of the assets. I don't see what use a man would have for his wife's rings - it's unlikey he'd wear them.

Sadly as unfeeling as men are - the ring is actually worth sentimental value is some cases.
Weddings aside, when some men give a women a ring, it is like selling their souls. Getting the ring back can mean the reverse.
I met a guy once - he sold his pride and joy (Norton 750 Commando), used the money to buy a wedding ring that ment the world to him.
He will never getting the bike back - but i know that if he didn't get the ring back he would never move on with his life after separation. Likewise my fathers wedding ring cost him 6 months in a fucked up mine. That is something my mother will never understand.

[MotoGirl]

I met a guy once - he sold his pride and joy (Norton 750 Commando), used the money to buy a wedding ring that ment the world to him...

Yes, it makes sense that a wedding ring can have sentimental value for a man if he has sacrificed something to purchase that ring. I just asked Cajun and he reckons the wife shouldn't have the rings and expect half of everything else.

[007XX]

Sadly as unfeeling as men are - the ring is actually worth sentimental value is some cases.
Weddings aside, when some men give a women a ring, it is like selling their souls. Getting the ring back can mean the reverse.
I met a guy once - he sold his pride and joy (Norton 750 Commando), used the money to buy a wedding ring that ment the world to him.
He will never getting the bike back - but i know that if he didn't get the ring back he would never move on with his life after separation. Likewise my fathers wedding ring cost him 6 months in a fucked up mine. That is something my mother will never understand.

Exactly, hence my point that this has to be treated on a case by case basis.
Different people, different circumstances, meanings to actions undertaken and also ways to deal with grief...

Respect to your father for his beautiful commitment...

We are getting way to entranched in the monetary value of the item, and should concentrate on what the item intrinsically means:

Love, commitment and fundamentally a promise.

[SpankMe]

Makes no difference what the situation is, the ring should be given back. It's a symbol of the love he feels for her. If she no longer wants his love, then the ring gets given back.

[ynot slow]

Sorry to hear,been there too,got engagement ring at xmas,wedding ring next year,eternity ring next year (in aussie),got the suffer ring about 12yrs later.



Hard to imagine life goes on,but it does make you stronger for it,synical yes.Then one night you meet someone as good as can be for you,well in fairytales lol.


No matter what you feel never let your kids know how you feel about their mum,I haven't but they will know what she did to me,maybe when they are 20 or so and can see my side of story,when they were 10 or so wasn't the time.

[Toaster]

Do you think if the wife has done the dirty and left her husband (for another bloke) that she should give her engagement and wedding rings back to him?

Can't.... it is actually her property and ONLY her property under law.

[007XX]

Can't.... it is actually her property and ONLY her property under law.

But....We are not talking about lawful property ownership here...

We are talking about ethical ownership, aren't we? Or did I completely missed the point of this thread???

[Stickchick]

But....We are not talking about lawful property ownership here...

We are talking about ethical ownership, aren't we? Or did I completely missed the point of this thread???

Ethically, it is her decision as to whether she hands them back or not.

[young1]

To everyone who has sent me really nice messages of support and advice, I do appreciate it. It is amazing how a common interest, bikes, can bring people together and help some one out who is in trouble.

Now the blood rush to my head has gone and the steam is no longer coming out of my ears! I have had a rethink (and chatted to a lawyer).

I have decided that I WILL NOT drop to her level. I want my friends and family to see that I do the decent thing when it comes to assets etc. There will be no arguments (i hope) over who gets what.

I am still in shock but as I said it is nice to know that I have so many friends out there.

Now if anyone knows any nice single woman........

[duckonin]

Let her keep the rings, I would not want mine back,(now hers as I did give it to her) reminding me everyday of the great times we had together, you gave it to her as a bond of love at the time, move on !!! surely even if you got it back would you want to give a "tainted" ring to your next partner??????

Yep seems so real actually it is, those darn old hormones again,our lovely girls we all love do have problems in later life and they do a great jog of hiding their problem....

[et al]

I have had a rethink (and chatted to a lawyer).
I have decided that I WILL NOT drop to her level. I want my friends and family to see that I do the decent thing when it comes to assets etc. There will be no arguments (i hope) over who gets what.
I am still in shock but as I said it is nice to know that I have so many friends out there.Now if anyone knows any nice single woman........

Thats the Story! That is the only way you can take control of your life and the situation that you find yourself in. Let the Lawyers do the debating over who gets what etc, just be aware things might get nasty once the "ex" finds out you got a Lawyer involved but at least she will now be aware of the consequences of what she has done. Re your last comment... if you have children who are not adults then I would advise against getting into any relationship right now (that WOULD be dropping to her level) - they will probably be confused about what their Mother has done and if you do similar (remember you are still married) then what example does that set for them, and it will just make things even more complicated for everyone concerned. Above all else remain strong - you have a tough time ahead of you, I know how hard this can be having gone through similar myself.

[avgas]

Ethically, it is her decision as to whether she hands them back or not.

Completely agree.
It her choice to be a bitch or not. Straight up.
I would find it interesting if a man said no as the ex-wife left asking for money. But then again it is his choice to be an asshole or not.

[ManDownUnder]

Do you think if the wife has done the dirty and left her husband (for another bloke) that she should give her engagement and wedding rings back to him?

Whoever paid for them gets them back yes.

In my eyes they're not a gift, they're a token, a symbol of something. When that something passes they cease to have meaning and should return home.