Home alone.

[u4ea]

I called the police thinking they would arrive in a timely manner to deal with a small child who'd been left unattented. Nearly an hour had passed but they seemed to think a traffic matter, or warrant or whatever was more important than dealing with this mother. I was in MY own home when this child came to MY place. I did not ask this kid to seek me out to find out where his mother was. I thought the police would have come and told ME if they had dealt with the matter or not. Why should it be up to me to go and find out? It's their JOB not mine! I look after my own kids....Im not some drop-in center for toddlers whose mothers are too tired to look after their children.

I totally agree there chiky!!!
You would think that with all the hype that the police"discretion" for child neglect reporting to CYF would be applied in this case!!!Sounds like the dog was better treated than the child with its pretty pink collar while the child was unnatended and bare bottomed!!NOT GOOD ENUFF

[Harry33]

I hate to say it but it's becoming the norm these days for some parents (if you can call them that) to not bring up their kids properly. I see this all the time at my wifes work (she works at a local Leisure Centre) where there is young kids roaming around unsupervised to atleast 10pm.

When I say young I'm talking between the ages or 8 to 15. There parents just give them a few dollars and send them on there way. I guess they don't really give a shit as long as they aren't stopping them from having fun etc.

Most of the time they have to find there own way home as well so I guess mum and dad don't really care about all the stranger dangers out there.

The big worry as far as I'm concerned is they start hanging out with the wrong people and learn to do all the bad shit you read about in the local papers.

Who do you blame the bad little shits or the parents?

[Goblin]

I hate to say it but it's becoming the norm these days for some parents (if you can call them that) to not bring up their kids properly.

Who do you blame the bad little shits or the parents?

It's the cycle of abuse and neglect. When kids of abusive parents grow up thinking thats the "norm", they carry on the cycle when they have their own kids. Looking after kids is not that difficult. Im not saying my parents were perfect...far from it. My first 10 years of life was living in total fear of our father who used to beat the shit out of us and was a total bastard! When I had my daughter I knew I HAD to break the cycle so I did parenting courses and even went to anger management. I chose not to bring up my kids the way I was. EVERY person has the choice! There are no excuses for neglect and abuse. If you cant look after your kids they should be put up for adoption and placed with people who DO want to be parents. In saying that, money, or lack of it is no excuse either. We dont have very much but we are well fed, warm and happy.

[Harry33]

It's the cycle of abuse and neglect. When kids of abusive parents grow up thinking thats the "norm", they carry on the cycle when they have their own kids. Looking after kids is not that difficult. Im not saying my parents were perfect...far from it. My first 10 years of life was living in total fear of our father who used to beat the shit out of us and sexually abuse me and my sister. When I had my daughter I knew I HAD to break the cycle so I did parenting courses and even went to anger management. I chose not to bring up my kids the way I was. EVERY person has the choice! There are no excuses for neglect and abuse. If you cant look after your kids they should be put up for adoption and placed with people who DO want to be parents. In saying that, money, or lack of it is no excuse either. We dont have very much but we are well fed, warm and happy.

Your right know matter how shitty your childhood is you can always rise above and break the circle

[Winston001]

I think what you did was great but I wonder at the tone of your post. It is more indignant about the cops than about the mother who was not caring for her child!

I disagree. Goblin has shown real concern and a sense of social responsibility. It is entirely reasonable for her to expect the officers to let her know what the ongoing results of her report will be. Not details, but at least a word of thanks and some reassurance that CYPS have been notified etc.

I'm not too troubled either about the traffic stop, just surprised that the officers didn't communicate more with Goblin. The police need to encourage and praise responsible citizens.

Maybe the reality is that the police see so much of this that they are simply bone weary of the reports. Too many bad parents, too few helpers.

[ajturbo]

Unbelievable!
Who could leave a 2y/o unattended for that length of time?
Lucky he wandered to your place and not off down the road...
You did the right thing!
I guess there is more revenue to be had in traffic tickets than unattended kids.

yer .. i would have tied him to the cloths pole.. that way he could run around in circles!!!

and not gone wondering the streets look for a good wall to tag


shit matey you have done that poor kid a great big favour!! good on you!...

i was going to bitch about the cops pulling the car over but you, the quota etc debate.... had to pay for YOUR callout!!.. watch you'll have a bill in the mail next week.......

[Holy Roller]

I hate to say it but it's becoming the norm these days for some parents (if you can call them that) to not bring up their kids properly. I see this all the time at my wifes work (she works at a local Leisure Centre) where there is young kids roaming around unsupervised to atleast 10pm.

Who do you blame the bad little shits or the parents?

I used to manage an intertainment centre in Rotovegas and it was not just the underpriviledged kids who were neglected.
Case in point
A wealthy parent large car, colour coordinated boat off fishing for the day leaves 12 yr old son at my centre with $100 and says he will be back to pick him up. We closed at 10pm and no sign of his father, 1am the old man turns up to get his son.

Why he did not take his son is beyond me as the boy was keen to go with him, What did he expect the boy to do between closing and his picking him up? My wife was with me that night so we stayed to make sure the kid was ok. This father seemed to give plenty of money but no time. The kid just brought friends or so it seemed.

[ynot slow]

Similar thing last Sunday,went for a ride,went and had a beer in arvo and wife was playing pokies,another lady in there,we were outside and a kid about 6 was in a car,kid then came into bar and asked for mum to go to loo,barstaff were not amused,lady then went home with kid and seemed pissed off that her day was ruined.And no she was not young or maori so don't relate this to race,she was the kids adopted mum.Not your usual steriotype mum gambling with kid in the car,as the papers would have us believe.

[inlinefour]

This neighbourhood is so depressing!

These sort of people do not tend to stay in one place for very long at all. They tend to burn their bridges, get told they have to move on, then get all upset that this has happened. Just the sort of individuals that no one wants in their neighbourhood, but everyone is happy to see the back of. You might possibly be the one they are annoyed with today, but I suspect in a short peroid of time there will be someone else that their attention changes to.

[FROSTY:Me]

Every situation is different though folks.
I remember when baby bikie was 2 years old I'd put him down for a nap.
I checked on him and he was fast asleep
Great I thought I can get a solid half hours work on a customers bike.
That I did then checked in on baby bikie--but the lil sod had flown the coop.
I found him 4 houses up playing on their swingset.

[Goblin]

Well I was woken up at 7.20am by said neighbours still partying and yelling "wake up!". They're at the roadside still drinking and the mothers voice is the loudest! They've been going all night again. No sign of the kid.
I hate living here. Suburban neurosis has set in.

[Vagabond]

Hang in there matey, I know it's not always easy but things always get better with time!
and after a period you'll be thinking why did I react so badly, was it really that bad!

And please I'm not trying to say you don't have it bad!

Hang in! You strike me as a survivor!

All the best
Colin.

[Goblin]

I have no choice but to hang in there. I moved in here in December 05. For ten years before that I lived in the country and really miss the peace and quiet. I miss the bellbirds and the tuis and the friendly, hard working neighbours who would look out for each other. I miss my chooks and my sheep and the homekilled meat we used to share with the neighbours.
My rego runs out on my bike tomorrow so I am going to take my boys for a ride down to Taupo for the day. Its a bit overcast and it will probably rain but its better than staying here and listening to that crap all day.

[smoky]

Cops don't write tickets (if that's what they were doing) to people who are just lawfully driving down the road do they.

What ideological utopian world do you live in? Obviously not the real world.

[smoky]

Good on ya for taking an interest. You never know, from your contact the police may of contacted CYFs, you may of started some intervention that will prevent a further tragedy in your neck of the woods, you think they’d be taking that sort of thing a bit more seriously since the last terrible incident in Rotorua.
I see that kind of thing everyday in my job, I get involved with a rang of social working agencies – there is certainly enough help available for people.
I have to say most cops do care – but have suffered a certain amount of desensitisation toward this kind of behaviour. It all depends which cop gets the call as to how they’ll deal with it – if they do.

I’ve got to know a few of the police; and pick who I talk to depending on the action I need to happen – talk to an older hard arse if I need to put pressure on, or talk to a tree hugger cop if I need some help dealing with these kind of problems in families

PM me the detals (address of the house) if you want to and I'll pass it on to the right person or;
ring 0508 FAMILY (0508 326 459)

http://www.cyf.govt.nz/SuspectAbuse.htm