Getting your knob checked

[scumdog]

Why the hell isn't this in PD? IN FACT WHY ISN'T 99.9% OF kb in PD?

[inlinefour]

I was just having a discussion with my brother about STD checks at the doctor.

He says that what they do is get a great big cotton swab and poke it down your knob.

Is this true?

Back when I was much younger and if not at work, generally pissed. That is what they did...
Now that I'm spoken for I am told rather than doing that, a simple swab is only required now. That an a urine sample. As for the blood test, thats generally only needed when a HIV status is requested. Hope this helps and never put off getting checked up, its not worth the risk.

[riffer]

Why the hell isn't this in PD? IN FACT WHY ISN'T 99.9% OF kb in PD?

Probably because everyone is too busy pissing themselves I reckon.


To be honest the only off-topic post in this thread is probably Maverick's (edit: and inline's) one.

[Boob Johnson]

I didn't bother reading any other responses but can say from experience, many MANY moons ago..............ok last week..............no seriously now was about 1990 odd........I got an STD, was about 18 at the time, went off to Taranaki Base & got a 60yr female doc...............damn!!! I think she was trying to send me a message or something as she stuck cotton wool wrapped needles down me "John Thomas" which lead to a lot of bleeding, my blood & lots of it, not to mention sweet, also mine. Wasn't pleasant at all, pissed razor blades for days afterwards.



Anyway, long story short, apparently they don't need to bother with all that shizzle nowadays. You can just pee in a jar & they test it. So if some cranky old fuss pot wants to stick needles down ya noob, say...............




"OI..........YOU.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOO............ .....I ADMIRE YOUR BUBBLY BEDSIDE MANOR BUT GET YOUR GRUBBY MITS OFF MY KNOB"





(in a Harry Enfield type voice)

[Drum]

I once had the swab and the doc says 'do you mind if we bring in a few medical students to see how its done?'.

I cannot repeat my response in public.

[cynna]

they just insert a tiny little plastic thing - u cant even feel it

now the time i had a camera inserted was a different story. that stung a bit............

[MSTRS:Me]

Ferk thats not true about the umbrella up the dick is it?
have heard of before.

Rest easy. Unless you still exist in the 1800's or early 1900's....

[scracha]

they just insert a tiny little plastic thing - u cant even feel it

now the time i had a camera inserted was a different story. that stung a bit............

Lies lies and lies. It's fu@#$ckin sore. Worth getting done though.

[Skyryder]

No truth in that tale at all.
What they really do is push a little umbrella sort of tool in as far as possible, and then pull it out. This scrapes out any infection that exists. Then a red-hot piece of wire is inserted to cauterise the de-scabbed nasties.
Hope this helps.

They cut mine off. Put it a box so secure that Houdini could not get in and took down the lab, did the tests and sowed it back on the wrong way. Now when I get a hard on it points down instead of up Don't do much swimming these days if you get my drift. Like it's a bit embaressing in the cold water.

Skyryder

[Lias]

Got tested a few years ago. Piss and blood tests, no scraping the jap eye with the umbrella.

[Pixie]

I was just having a discussion with my brother about STD checks at the doctor.

He says that what they do is get a great big cotton swab and poke it down your knob.

Is this true?

Bullshit

They use a trained Candiru fish:


This fish is feared to attack humans and swim into an orifice (the vagina, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra).[4] Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery.[7] The fish locates its host by following a water flow to its source and thus urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candirú homing in on a human urethra. Natives have also been known to bathe facing the current, as doing so would decrease the chances of the organism lodging itself in the rectum.[citation needed] Other orifices such as the penis or vagina are covered up with the use of hands.

Though there have been documented candirú attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Jagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. In theory, these two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candirú can be removed.

A well-circulated myth is that the candirú is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat. This is physically impossible as the maximum swimming velocity of the fish is opposed by the downward velocity of the urine stream, and the further impossible act of the 5-14 mm wide fish maintaining position and thrust within a 2–7 mm wide column of fluid. They are also probably not attracted to urine as commonly thought.[

[Gareth123]

Bullshit

They use a trained Candiru fish:


This fish is feared to attack humans and swim into an orifice (the vagina, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra).[4] Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery.[7] The fish locates its host by following a water flow to its source and thus urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candirú homing in on a human urethra. Natives have also been known to bathe facing the current, as doing so would decrease the chances of the organism lodging itself in the rectum.[citation needed] Other orifices such as the penis or vagina are covered up with the use of hands.

Though there have been documented candirú attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Jagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. In theory, these two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candirú can be removed.

A well-circulated myth is that the candirú is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat. This is physically impossible as the maximum swimming velocity of the fish is opposed by the downward velocity of the urine stream, and the further impossible act of the 5-14 mm wide fish maintaining position and thrust within a 2–7 mm wide column of fluid. They are also probably not attracted to urine as commonly thought.[

Wow i never realised that our simple post about getting your knob checked (which everyone should do) would generate a post about fishes swimming up your arse or urethra or whatever. EWWW

[Skyryder]

Wow i never realised that our simple post about getting your knob checked (which everyone should do) would generate a post about fishes swimming up your arse or urethra or whatever. EWWW

Just like the good ol' days. You never knew what would come out of the woodwork.

Skyryder

[Maha]

IN FACT WHY ISN'T 99.9% OF kb in PD?

Buy my calculations....if that were the case, then there would be 6 threads to view.....maths was never my strongest subject but i think im pretty close with the estimated equational outcome....

[Colapop]

The reality is, that if you're sticking your knob somewhere or in someone that you suspect aint that clean then you need your head as much as your knob checked!