Depression...

[mstriumph]

Ok I'm a religious nut.... ie a christian...... The Bible tells us we will suffer so egg heads that tell people that they would not suffer if they had enough faith need to put their religious L plates back on.

With the morons in the cages how can anyone ride with out a little bit of real faith.

skill? luck? planning?

[mstriumph]

.........................
but yeah, fell asleep in the one class i managed to get to...then got home, and ate lunch, then fell asleep on the couch again...

..............but then, it's also about sadness... you can just be completely and utterly distraught for no reason at all it seems...

........... but lately, i find the fuse even shorter, so I get angry at TINY things that are done.... but it goes away quickly, then I kick myself later for getting angry for no reason.

i don't mean to trivialise your obvious distress but when was the last time you had a complete physical checkup? this deep a blue sometimes has dietary or other causes?

[Curious_AJ]

had a complete physical and neurological check up a little while ago. not very long ago at all, and then went to the doc again last week, and she found everything was completely fine on that part. Was just a little worried about my frequent headaches... but I'm sure it's just tension, she said (as usual) to call in if they get worse or what not.

[vifferman]

That reminds me - early on in my "you have depression: here, have some drugs" stage of life, my GP sent me for a CT scan, as the droooogs weren't working too well. After the scan, the doctor/operator/mechanic/rocket scientist said, "We've examined the scan results. We didn't find anything."



Nothing.

Not a small steam engine, clockwork motor, or even a treadmill with no hamster, let alone some kind of grey matter.
Quite worrying really (or would be, if I had something to worry with...)

[Curious_AJ]

I made a complete stuff up... and now I'm stuck.... and can't do it anymore... not at all... I'm going to get fired... and my uni is stuffed up... hence I'm going to fail.. which means my father will disown me... then I'll have to run away.. but I have no money... so I wont be able to survive... hence... well you know what's going to happen then...

[Kittyhawk]

Life hurts. Felt like collapsing into a heap to cry. Cant find words to describe it.

Get the most of life with your friends have as many priceless moments as you can with them.

[dmouse]

seen the head doctor yesterday i wonder what these people get paid for ? first i was told i was bi polar and given copies amouts of meds then told im manic depressive which is just another term for bi polar then im told that i have post traumaic stress disorder and yesterday told that i have depersonalisation disease of which there is no known cure and they are going to take me off of my meds and there is nothing more that can be done for me, until they find a new drug to try, and isked the head doc then if this was the case i might as well go and cure myself with an overdose and bascily he said yes

fancy names for big bucks now which drug company will come up with a miracle drug first !!!!!

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

I sure as hell aint religious but I have found myself praying for the willingness to live, forget a fn reason lol. I just gotta keep looking for the humour in things.
I briefly read someone describing they suffered from depression and physical pain. Well you have my heartfelt sympathy - cos I'm doing that at present - but I know my physical stuff won't last (ok if I have my way it won't!!). Mine in no way matches what that person described but tis bad enough for me. I am not a person to stay still for long and it is driving me nuts. Alot of things are going on at present I am at war with myself. I won't talk to anyone anymore, there is no point in doing so.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

i was brought up a cathloic and force fed the church and fed more lies in school, the so called church is a load of lies and ideas stolen from other beliefs paganism and older beliefs its the biggest and most rewarding book in the world, more people die over religion than war each and every year, so many unwanted babys born and die for the sake of there religion.

i died on the op table and i did not go to heaven i went somewhere very warm and so so comforting there are no real words to describe where i went, so the best description would be like being back in the womb it was incredable and i have allways wanted to go back there ever since, i now live a life that i dont recognise its like living someone elses life i see photo`s of this person i have become and i do not know who i am or what i am supposed to be doing.

as for sleep i dont know when i last had a full 8 hours sleep i lie every night waiting for pills to knock me out sotimes its after 3am when i fall asleep and im back awake again in an hour or so allways the same i die in my sleep see this person i have become dead on the floor and i wake and im allways crying real tears and shakeing soaking wet with cold sweats i so hate falling asleep and i hate waking up even more.

Ditto catholic shit. I recently "visited over yonder". It was the most beautiful white light, calming, peaceful, safe place - I had been there once before some years ago - still the same beautiful light. This last time I thought it really was curtains and I was happy to go - until I saw my niece's terrified eyes - all I remember is I was just too tired, lack of oxygen. But obviously wasn't my time unfortunately.

[dmouse]

i know what you mean about talkin im fed up of tellin docs shrinks and councelers what pain mood and stuff im in and afer it all they dont really listen to you there off in there own heads wonderin what to cook for tea or whatever were just money machines to them it really suks big time

[Curious_AJ]

they're just someone neutral to unload stuff on... kind of like a breathing rock..

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

We are such interesting specimans to them - we often know far more than they ever will - I have had heaps of "discussions" with these people. A psychiatrist I saw recently just wanted to put me on antidepressants again - oh try that for a year. Which one shall we have. God at times I figure if I have to have pills to keep me alive then fk it - I would rather have nature take its course. I have yet to find life "worth it". Sure I can get on even keel but I'm forever in "survivor mode", struggling to exist - and for what?? More of the same shit. I fully understand and appreciate why people commit suicide. I know that my friend who did suicide had tried everything.

[Curious_AJ]

yeah... people think therapy works... but we can all tell them a thing or two...

people only go when they're not actually mentally ill in any way, they just want to rabbit out some bullshit, then CLAIM it makes them better, when there wasnt anything wrong to begin with!!! ...

on the other hand... people who really need help in some form... are not helped by so called "professionals" who get paid to sit there not knowing anything, and thinking about cheese sandwiches for all we know, then giving the generic response "okay, well lets give you some drugs"...

[dmouse]

white light ive been there seen that i can only descibe it as being back in the womb warm safe light but not bright and so comfy no pain no fear no sense of anything but full on wonder and being totaly aware and finaly alive and i have allways wanted to go back there its a place you cannot forget or get out of your mind its so amazeing.

people only know what you tell them and if these docs were so clever and know everything why do we have to tell them !!! i am intelligent i am wise i have lived i have sufferd but most of my memories have been stolen by ECT and drugs they fed me i have a right to be angry at the system that labels us as 1M (one m) i have no criminal record a clean drivers licence but when im stopped by the law i come up on the system as 1m what happend to my right to privacy ??? i didnt do anything wrong they said i was sick does this give them the right to label me as mad i thought after all the ads on TV that depression was not so bad all you had to do was ask for help ? and for this we get a label it sucks.......

[mstriumph]

I made a complete stuff up... and now I'm stuck.... and can't do it anymore... not at all... I'm going to get fired... and my uni is stuffed up... hence I'm going to fail.. which means my father will disown me... then I'll have to run away.. but I have no money... so I wont be able to survive... hence... well you know what's going to happen then...

get a bloody GRIP gal!!
there is ALWAYS a way out
there is ALWAYS a solution
stop
breath
overcome the panic
think
plan
move forward

for PITY's sake, you are way better than this post!!!