Australian Letter of the Year.

[Mikkel]

I have to put this in jokes and humour...


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Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you fucking morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850!
In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.
I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government."

You are all Fucking idiots

[homer]

yeah i hear ya m8

anyone next time you goto aussie, and if youve gota credit card with GE finance .
ring them and get the balance , they will have it , if you get an idiot on the phone they will tell you how much you owe .
there not ment to be able to tell you but its all there where you live the whole lot .

just depends if they push the aus f keys or the nz f keys

[deanohit]

Hahahaha, read that out to my flatmate who is in the process of renewing her passport, the original post is a pretty accurate description of how things are.

[vifferman]

I took #2 Son to the WINZ a couple of weeks back, and both of us had to supply two (2) forms of ID. Now, of the forms of ID I have, one is a NZ passport (which is one of them new damfangled electronic ones, so not easily forged) which cannot be obtained without pretty stringent proof of who I am. Secondly, my driver's licence requires two forms of ID plus a letter addressed to me at my current address. Furthermore (also) [PLUS] both of us are already/still on WINZ's records, so all they really needed was summat with a photo to show we matched their current records.
Here's another dumb thing - telemarketers, shops, websites, etc have all sorts of info about each of us, yet you cannot find out stuff about members of your family without their permission (like how they are, after an accident, for example).
This Privacy Act stuff is all very well and good in principle, but in practice it's just another piece of bureaucratic bullshit.

[burden2]

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows
that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997,
and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and
on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's
licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid
customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off
the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census
forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be
absolutely
f*cking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop
dead!!!...

SH*T!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really p*ssed off this morning.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullsh*t! You send the
application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!! What
the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless
Neanderthal a*seholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New
Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a
Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t
whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got
the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me,
I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city, and get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, and to part
with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to
assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo..
that'd be too f*cking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much
prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our
f*cking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society w*nker
to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the
photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you f*cking morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in
high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this
country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms
with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30
years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security
clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and
Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to
verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND
RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN !!!......a country where they either
assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the
Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'

[true-to-life]

[portokiwi]

The bad thing is that is soooooooooo true.

[kevfromcoro]

Never really thought about it..
But what a true statement.....
I get mail from stores who are trying to sell you stuff...and know all about you
Then go to the airport ,, to go to Aussie .. and get treated like an alien.
DOB..adress... size of your grandmothers left shoe.... etc etc.
its a crock of shit really...

[Big Dave]

This is patently bogus and not written by an Australian.

No true blue dinky di cobber mate chuck a prawn on the barbie she'll be right Aussie would waste that much time & effort on a politician.

[discotex]

I wanted to open an account at the local video shop.

2 forms of ID plus proof of address required. I had drivers license and credit cards but I don't carry my mail everywhere I go (of which I get almost none because I cancelled my statements and bills).

As if I was going to drive home and back. Needless to say I've decided my ISP deserves the money for my broadband cap. And they wonder why they're losing money hand over fist.........

[FJRider]

This is patently bogus and not written by an Australian.

No true blue dinky di cobber mate chuck a prawn on the barbie she'll be right Aussie would waste that much time & effort on a politician.

I agree mate... the spelling was (mostly) correct even... could'nt expect that from an ocker...

[oldguy]

I wanted to open an account at the local video shop.

2 forms of ID plus proof of address required. I had drivers license and credit cards but I don't carry my mail everywhere I go (of which I get almost none because I cancelled my statements and bills).

As if I was going to drive home and back. Needless to say I've decided my ISP deserves the money for my broadband cap. And they wonder why they're losing money hand over fist.........

That same thing happen to me, didn't matter that my address is on my drivers licence, also hand my firearms licence, we need a power bill or rates bill something with your address on it, not that the power bill is in your name
and you don't own a house.
Need less to say I didn't join that Video Store, anyway I get better porn of the internet, not there crappy old 1970's hairy muff chicks..

[discotex]

Need less to say I didn't join that Video Store, anyway I get better porn of the internet, not there crappy old 1970's hairy muff chicks..

I don't really get it. It's not like them knowing where I live is going to help them get their DVD back if I sell it on trademe.... As if.

Kinda like the locked pumps thing eh.

[CookMySock]

This Privacy Act stuff is all very well and good in principle, but in practice it's just another piece of bureaucratic bullshit.

Naw they have to authenticate you properly, and the only way they know how is by asking lots of frustrating questions that they already know the answers too.

I wonder how long it will be before we can carry 2048-bit DSA keys to authenticate with.

Steve

[ynot slow]

They know the minute ya have a crap,but want to know last person your mother shagged before meeting your dad almost to get a pissport.

Best answer whilst waiting for immigration is remind them that it is pretty stupid if they want to know if you have a record,hell it was a penal colony,and Billy T James summed that up in his show.