Why I like to Ride bikes.

[James Deuce]

I have an angry undercurrent. I pretend to be a good boy most of the time. But sometimes....

1. We ran out of bread this morning. I went over the road to get bread and then I was off to work. I was in my bike gear. The Arsehat dairy owner immediately begins to lecture me about bikes being dangerous. I hold my hand up (patronising, eh?) and say politely, "If you have an opinion you would be well advised to keep it to your self." Arsehat looks a little taken aback and starts the lecture. I say, " I warned you. We will no longer be using your dairy. Your constant harrassment of my wife (he gives her shit about being so hugely pregnant) and your bigoted views on motorcycling have convinced me that I no longer wish to help feed you and your family."

He looks doubly stunned and says, "But bikes are..."

I cut him off with, " There is another dairy and a small supermarket 1km down the road. It is no hardship to use either instead of you. Excuse me while I put these loaves of bread back on your shelf."

I leave. I slam the sliding door so hard on the way out it wedges on an angle to the runners.

2. Madboy is right. I do ride like I am scared of death. But tonight...

I turned off at Korokoro to go the twisty way home. A neon-luminous, pearlescent, thundering boom-box with a dustbin exhaust attaches itself to a strap on my tailpack. "What would Madboy do", I think to myself.

Down one (oops wasn't planning on a first gear wheelie, but what the hey), and whistle through the sweepers up London road "naughtily" shall we say. Safer than being tailgated by what appears to be a pair of baseball caps.

Then there are a succession of hairpins, one of which doesn't dry in winter EVER. Wastegate bangs behind - blimey he's close again and wants a go. Front wheel slides, grips, slides - what would Madboy do - whack it open of course, front wheel grips and we leave the baseball caps behind through the next set of side to side flicks, tight enough that going quickly doesn't mean going to jail. Last big looooong right hand hairpin, nail it to make a point, BLOODY HELL loose grave... Snake, weave, sliiiiide, what would Madboy do - whack it open of course, weeeeee wee wee goes this little piggy all the way home.

Stop at driveway to collect junk mail from the letterbox, brrrrm, psshhhh, bang! Baseball caps pull up, "Farrrk, good one bro, chur!!", Westside gestures exhanged. Smile creeps up to join both corners of my mouth on top of my head, good thing the little buggers can't see my face.

All hypothetical of course officer. I did NOT threaten a dairy owner, vandalise his door, or race with evil boi racers. Not me. I'm scared of death me.

[White trash]

Bullshit. Madboy would'a fallen off.

[2_SL0]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, that was excellent to read. Put a smile on my face. I just need to find a ride for tomorrow and Ill be set to burn off a few gremlins of my own.

[Hitcher]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

[justsomeguy]

Now this Madboy seems like ......

Excellent write up Jim, try and learn something from Madboy.

[inlinefour]

I REALLY want a CBR600RR or a ZXR636 now...

[Spaz]

Brilliant!
Now to get a bike that can do the same.
Whimper...Sniff...Envious stare.
Chur bro

[GROOMER]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

Lets do it

[Ixion]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

Oddly enough , though many people have raised the "Aren't they awfully dangerous" thing when I have introduced the subject of motorcycling into the conversation, I don't recall anyone ever volunteering such an opinion unsolicited.

But I find people tend to be rather reticent in general towards me, dunno why. So maybe it's just general.

I find the best response depends on whether they are friendly and genuinely concerned (explain that , no, it's not as dangerous as people mught think), or just plonkers ("Yes. It is . I've been killed 4 times already. Why do you want to know?" ). I guess if someone volunteered such an opinion unasked, I'd just tell them that their ignorance disqualified them from expressing any opinion.

[StoneChucker]

Thanks Jim, that was a great read. A perfect example of what happens when life pushes you, constantly, further, further and finally a little too far and you need to blow off a little steam Good on you

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen"

[Badcat]

:

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen"

Harold and Kumar?
that movie was MUCh funnier than i expected.
gotta love it.
k

[James Deuce]

Thanks Jim, that was a great read. A perfect example of what happens when life pushes you, constantly, further, further and finally a little too far and you need to blow off a little steam Good on you

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen"

Bahahah!!!!

[Mooch]

Good one Jim ,
had someone here say that about motorcycling , my reply was "It's a dam sight safer than the public transport" to which they nodded and changed the subject.

[unhingedlizard]

Imagine if you will, in this PC times of ours, that cars didnt exist. You have had a flash of insparation on night (perhaps on the crapper?) and you take your idea to parliment. You have divised a transport system wereby normal, ordinary members of the public (big, small, clever or amazingly thick), with a minimum of basic training, shall drive a metal box weighing 1-3 tonnes and containing such mind disracting devices as a radio, CD/MP3 player, TV, DVD and Playstation towards each other at combined speeds of up to 200kph, seperated by only a thin line of coloured paint.


Becareful out there folks.

[TonyB]

Good read Jim! Just as well Madboy knew what to do, eh!
Can't remember how many times I've heard the 'temporary New Zealander' line. Funnily enough it often comes from middle aged overweight smokers who drink too much. So who's temporary again??