I think I must have pissed off Mother Nature

[Ixion]

What's gotten into the local fauna? Or does Mother Nature just hate me. Yesterday seems to have been kamikaze day for birds and beasts

Well, yesterday being a bee-yootiful day, AND me suffering from a weeks riding abstinence, AND since I'd ridden L'il Ratty to werk, and he was whining and pestering to "go somewhere wriggly, huh huh huh. Can we , please, please please". AND since half of KB seemed to have headed to Raglan. It seemed like one of those inexorable thingies of fate that the ancient Greeks specialised in , that I should go for a wee tootle down SH22 to Raglan m'self.

Haven't been down SH22 for yonks, and , having left it in the care and safe keeping of you chaps I thought I'd better go and see if you were looking after it . Pleased to see that for the most part it's in pretty good condition I reckon, for SH22. Just wish the plaguey FixTheRoads people would leave it alone and stop putting big patches on it, nicely topped off with loose gravel. Especialy the one on the 45kph corner, that covers the entire lane. Nice. Other than that just the usual stretches of loose gravel mysteriously across the road (where does it COME from I always wonder); assorted washouts, slips and general clay mud and cow shit . All good stuff. But the metal bits are in a sorry state . I always go the old SH22, down the bit that comes out at Te Uku . Sigh. There's not much gravel left now, only a couple of stretches of a few km each. But what there is was in a bad way alright. Massive potholes, and very heavy heaped up loose gravel. Slow going. Mind you, the whole of SH22 used to be like that. Got to Te Uku once and stalled the Triumph cos my wrists were too weak from being pounded on pot holes to pull the clutch in.

Annnyway . That's neither here nor there (well done though lads, its in safe hands I see) . But - tootling along just south of the bit with the nice old church (Waingaro ? Some such ?), I see a large black bird (pukeko ? Never seen them fly, but. But big, bigger than a chicken, and black) fly out from the shrubbery on the opposite side of the road , and fly across the road. No probs, he'll be well clear and off about his birdy business before I get there.

Then , WTF. He does a 270 loop and flys back up the road STRAIGHT AT ME . Didn't deviate at all, just homed in on me and kept coming. Too late to swerve, (And I think he'd have followed me, I reckon he had a radar lock on me) - just brace for the impact. And impact it was. He took out the mirror, then hit me full on the chest. Hard. Maybe there is some truth in that blatherage that Mr Andy Knickerelastic keeps spouting, cos if I'd been going 200kph I guess it would have hurt twice as much. And I don't think I'd like that at all.

Then he fell down in my lap sort of fluttering away. I had to scoop him over the side, before I could turn to the task of getting back into control and dealing with the corner now very fast approaching - complicated by the fact that the mirror strike has twisted the front brake lever mount so the lever was now pointing vertically skyward. And the fact that all the breath was knocked clean out of me.

I have to admit that I didn't go back to check on him, and give him a clean end. Feel a bit bad about that , I don't like any beastie dying without need, and a slow death is worse. But I couldn't see where he'd ended up , and by the time I got myself sorted out I was well down the road. Still think now I should have gone back and finished him off. Sorry, bird.

Well, you say, such things happen. Yes indeed. But. After a fish and chip snack at Raglan (only one other bike there, black sprotsbike with a fishing chick; good fish though the chips only so-so) I headed back, via the boring (hah !) but easy main road and SH1.

There's something very nice about a single rata-ratta'ering through the dark night on a deserted road. Peaceful. Harmonious. This is what motorcycling is meant to be.

Then something darts out from the road side and the front wheel decides this is a good time to take up morris dancing. And there an almighty thump from down near the engine.

Once I get things calmed down and stop (and check underwear state) , I have a look and find "furry bits" over the wheel and the front of the engine.

Turn round, go back a bit, and there's a very dead rabbit. Or most of one anyway. Very dead indeed, because rabbit's component bits are not supposed to be arranged that way

I think it must have dived THROUGH the wheel (it's a 3 spoke job, with lots of space between the spokes). And a spoke collected it and threw it backwards onto the motor. Chopping it up as it went.

Two in one night !. Blurdy hell.

Third time pays for all! Turned off down a wee deviation, and encountered a spot of road works . So I opened my visor to see better (on acount of there's so much bug splat on it I can't see much at all) . And some giant enormous bug , about the size of a 747, dives STRAIGHT at me (I saw him coming !) through the open visor, and manages to get itself right round the back of the helmet, flapping and kicking and the Good Lord knows what (I've NO idea how it managed it). Another emergency stop, to debug helmet.

Now the strange thing is, that in all my years of riding, I've only ever had , I think, three instances of being hit by bird or beast. Now I get two in one night (three if I count Mr Bug) . What's the probability of that? And have I now assuaged the wrath of whatever God or Godess I've offended ? And if not how do I go about it (no sacrificing of virgins, but, I'm not wasting a good virgin she can be sacrificed just as well as an experienced girl) ? And why did all three of them dive straight at me ? (Well, the bunny didn't exactly, but he did his best). Am I indeed on Ma Nature's hit list?

(I bet some mod moves this to some strange place and bad reps me for it )

(And my front brake is now all floppsy. I'll havre to look into tht tomorrow)

[Posh Tourer :P]

But - tootling along just south of the bit with the nice old church (Waingaro ? Some such ?), I see a large black bird (pukeko ? Never seen them fly, but. But big, bigger than a chicken, and black) fly out from the shrubbery on the opposite side of the road , and fly across the road. No probs, he'll be well clear and off about his birdy business before I get there.

Then , WTF. He does a 270 loop and flys back up the road STRAIGHT AT ME . Didn't deviate at all, just homed in on me and kept coming.

Quite likely to be a pukeko. They have a reputation for flying very badly, and crash-landing into anything as a matter of course (watch one fly into a small tree or hedge - they disappear into it totally before stopping....) (The give-away was the chicken thing doing a 270 without apparent thought and not being able to do anything about it)

(And my front brake is now all floppsy. I'll havre to look into tht tomorrow)

That'd be the rabbit then.....

[Motu]

''If we conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of all the things we could discuss
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us''

You need to be more at one with the enviroment,you can pick up early warnings of random thought...gently redirect them on a different path - you should have plenty of spare ability to plant your knee on the deck and powerslide out of the turn at the same time.

It's a time of year for bugs that fly - your helmet creates a vortex that sucks them in....flaps down!,flaps down!,Pull up Virgal! abort,abort!! SPLAT! I've also met many animals on the road,but seldom met in the flesh as it were - but more by luck than my superb skill.Most stick to their trajectory,but ducks and pukes are a bit scatterbrained and pull some stupid moves.

I hear a similar call from my DT230,so I am taking it down home this weekend...we'll see if we can sneak out un noticed....just a little ride,we won't go far...promise....

[inlinefour]

Three in one go. Either mother nature is out to get you or you've had your quota in one go and are quite safe now...

[N4CR]

Just as well you didn't come across the "festive dog making sport in the roadway" like John did. I think this is a quota based system as well. I have an influx of near misses and bug strikes and then they just go away again.

At least you didn't get this sort of indignity like myself eh.

Take care

[zadok]

Amazing. A few years ago, I was following a mate who was learning to ride. We were in a 60kmh built up suburban area. A duck came flying in from my right and landed on my tank, falpping its wings in my face. Somehow I didn't panic and just pushed it off. First and only wildlife encounter at this time.

[fishb8nz]

Got hit by a pukekoe doing 100 km, while in my car and it caused a nasty bump on the corner of my bonnet. Had that hit a bike, some serious damage would occur. Also ran over one on my bike. It just stuck its neck out and ran and I ran over its neck. Very quick end. I thought I'd missed it but my mate following behind saw it get decapitated.

[jrandom]

pukekos arent bad eating really if you boil them up for long enough.

[XP@]

Managed 1 human and 2 (possibly 3) rabbits in one day.
The human was not too bad, but some rabbit managed to get hooked up in the zorst. The smell in the garage 3 days later (had to go pick up the affore mentioned human and his bike from tauranga) was totally vile!

[eliot-ness]

pukekos arent bad eating really if you boil them up for long enough.

Can't boil them long enough in this area. We get power cuts twice a year

[Velox]

Mate - that's awesome!!! Just come out of an exam so I needed a good laugh. Cheers!

[Ixion]

pukekos arent bad eating really if you boil them up for long enough.

You must have a strong palate. I've tried one and it was vile. And nasty sharp spiny bones through it.

[Lou Girardin]

The dreaded heat seeking pukeko huh? I believe the SAS are using them in Afghanistan. Carry a counter-measures cat on the pillion next time.

[myvice]

Off'ed a seagull last time I was on 22...
Better than hitting a cow!

[Scorpygirl]

pukekos arent bad eating really if you boil them up for long enough.

yeah Fish the best way is to boil the Pukeko in water with a stone. Boil them both up for three hours. Then throw away the Pukeko and eat the stone!!!!