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Thread: Garrggh ! Where did all that oil come from!

  1. #1
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    26th February 2005 - 15:10
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    Angry Garrggh ! Where did all that oil come from!

    Oh dear. Such dramas my dear.

    Off to werk, fire up Ratty, curse the shitty weather, off down the drive, all good.

    Down the road a few hundred yards, to the nasty steep downhill give way corner.

    Prod the rear brake to slow for the corner. Eeeek - shit why's the rear wheel decided go exploring. Not to mention that it's not actually doing the slowing down thing. And the corner now decidedly close. Oh well, wet roads can be slippery, and the rear wheel will come running back sometime with its tail between its legs. Time to call in Mr Front Brake, no nonsense here.

    Yeeeeeekk . And double yeeek. With a Yikkkkes for good measure. Now the front wheel has also decided to play slip slidies. Stick out a foot and a quick prayer to the Biker Gods, and , hey, whadda ya know, I'm actually round the corner, still sort of sideways , but more less facing the correct way. Interesting way to go through a corner on seal, but anyway.

    Triple eeek. And WTF. Where did all that oil on the road come from . No wonder I skidded like a skiddy thing. What blanketty cunt etc etc .

    Oh, so THAT'S where the oil came from. Pissing out the front of my engine!

    Oh dear. Oh Deary me. Oh buggery . Oh my sainted head gasket!

    Stop. Curse. Blaspheme. Inspect. With profanity. Hm. Hang on. Woz that honking big hole in the front of the cylinder head. Exposing all the camshaffty goodness of the INSIDE of the head. THAT didn't use to be there! (Well, the camshaffty goodness presumably was, but not the hole)

    Ah. That's where the decompressor went, on a previous incarnation of these engines. There should be a Welch plug in there , blanking it off.

    No plug. Big hole. Oil comes out of big hole. Bugger. Still, better than a blown head gasket.

    Stuff some rag in hole. Check oil level, still some left. Proceed VERY slowly back up road admiring the pretty colours the rain is making. Hm. Pretty colours stop there. And woz that lying on the road. Ahaha. A welch plug.

    Collect plug. Limp home.

    Heap obloquies on the head of Mr Biff. I blame him. He's welch. He should make his plugs better. All his fault. Always like to have someone to blame. It's a Kiwi thing.

    No time to sort it now, I'm late for werk. Put Ratty in gargre in disgrace, pull Petal out. Oh bother, the battery's as flat as a rather flat thing. Good job the Titan is kick start and magneto, then. Battery, samttery, who needs them. Love magnetos I do. And kick starts.

    Off again, in a cloud of lovely two stroke smoke.

    Tootle along, down the muddlway, down Cavendish Drive.

    Two lanes, I'm in the left, minding my own business, when a old brown ute hurtles up past me in the right lane, dives in front of me, and slams on his brakes preparatory to a dive into a driveway.

    Oh goshes. Still no big drama, he's not too close, cos I slowed when he dived in front of me. And , without a nice layer of oil to complicate things ,a reasonable application of front brake will keep me clear of his rear. Just part of life's rich tapestry.

    Hang on a mo, though. Wozz that in the back of the ute, resting on the tail gate and sticking a couple of metres behind the rear of the ute.

    Oh yeah. A honking long length of steel tube. Hm, and where's the (unflagged) end of said tube? Oh yeah, there. Pointing at, hmm , yes, indeed, pointing very nicely at my head. Gulp, I don't really feel like having a four inch hole punched in my head this morning.

    Suddenly the distance adequate for an emergency stop has been reduced by about two metres . Leaving a rather INadequate distance.

    Lucky bikes is manoeverable , isn't it.

    Golly, I still have to get home again. Wonder what else will happen!
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  2. #2
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    20th July 2005 - 09:37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixion
    Oh dear. Such dramas my dear....
    Golly, I still have to get home again. Wonder what else will happen!
    please dont tempt fate.... maybe you should walk?
    "Do not meddle in the affairs of Buells, for they are subtle and quick to wheelie!"
    --J RR1000 Tolkien





    yank tank at Glenorchy 2006 rally

  3. #3
    Um...bugger eh?

    I crashed my bike this morning on an oil slick somewhere out the eastern suburbs - as I was picking it up some old guy goes past on some ancient 2 stroke and completely ignores me....

    I don't like holes in engines plugged up with...plugs! They are a problem waiting to happen.Good save - lucky you had the time and space to figure out what was happening and take appropriate action...to an observer you would of just done a couple of wiggles and then stopped the bike,meanwhile a whole lifetime of experiance was passing aboard Ratty.Now you know why engines last so long - oil is very slippery stuff!

  4. #4
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    26th February 2005 - 15:10
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    I did feel some concerns about the oil slick. But it's a quiet road and I've never seen another bike on it. Cages should be able to cope. And with all this rain it will be washed clean by the weekend.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  5. #5
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    Well after that little lot, who needs an encore, why don't you put cute little Titan in you nap sack and take a nice bus ride home, either that or pretend you have lost your passport and ring for the rescue helicopter

  6. #6
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    Iraq, all that oil was stolen from Iraq.

    By Sarge. And Gee Dubya.

  7. #7
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    Oh good. can I blame them, also. That makes three people I can blame. Mr Biff, cos he's welch , Sarge cos he stole the oil , and dubbya - just cos. I feel much better having lots of people to blame.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixion
    Oh good. can I blame them, also. That makes three people I can blame. Mr Biff, cos he's welch , Sarge cos he stole the oil , and dubbya - just cos. I feel much better having lots of people to blame.
    Sounds like a conspiracy to me man.....

  9. #9
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    If there's a God, brown ute driver will loose it on the oil, go head on into a tree, and get said 2" tube through HIS head.
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  10. #10
    Yeah,I'd stay at work tonight - sleep in the skip.There is possibly a quincunx with saturn in virgo (it was virgin oil I hope) with mars in aquarius (water carrier,but oil is close)....I suggest a merlo or shiraz to help appease the Gods.

  11. #11
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    Haha, you tell a story so well, Ixion.
    There's Life, the Universe and Everything, but I prefer pizza.

  12. #12
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    Weird, there was an oil/diesel spill on City Road (off the top of Queen Street, first street down from AMES) which is a very steep one where you're stopped at a big angle for the stop sign. Police had it closed off at about 8am this morning but I have no idea whether it's all cleaned up or not so be careful all!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixion
    Oh good. can I blame them, also. That makes three people I can blame. Mr Biff, cos he's welch , Sarge cos he stole the oil , and dubbya - just cos. I feel much better having lots of people to blame.


    thats abuse ..

    Mod .. please sin bin Ixion and Dover ( again)

    my feelings are hurt
    Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid

    SARGE
    represented by GCM

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul in NZ
    Sounds like a conspiracy to me man.....
    Bloody aliens did it, honest.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SARGE
    thats abuse ..

    Mod .. please sin bin Ixion and Dover ( again)

    my feelings are hurt

    He only likes self abuse.

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