Huge lack of confidence =( how do i get over it?

**Paul in NZ** · 18th June 2006, 09:48

Without going to extremes here (too much nervousness is a bad thing).....

You lack of confidence will keep you alive and over confidence will kill you quick. Be thankful you have a smart head on your shoulders and embrace that lack of confidence. Don't worry about it at all...

I've held a motorcycle for 35 years (give or take) and been without a bike for around 4 of them (2 years overseas) and I still worry, I still doubt and I still only ride at half the bikes capability and yet I'm still riding when lots of mates that were super confident are either dead or given up..

Don't fret, trust your senses and gently rack up the miles! It will get better!

Paul N

**ZeroIndex** · 18th June 2006, 09:54

Originally Posted by Dafe

Hahaha, Sounds familiar - The parent thing!

I was told the same thing, only - I was told I wasn't allowed a bike fullstop.
So I brought a KR1S 250 two stroke and I stored it at my mates house for a year before my parents found out and then I got kicked out of home for being deceiving.
Now, 12 years later - I ride a K6 Gixxer 1000 and I farkin love it!
My parents have accepted I ride motorcycles. They had no choice.
It's a big part of my life now. My parents haven't always made the right decisions and I have always believed that I should be allowed to make my own decisions.

If you feel you need to do it, do it.

Try to get some lessons from some fellow KB'ers. There is heaps to learn from others. Also, try to link up with some really good riders who know how to ride safe lines, you'll learn quickly from them. Also, Do plenty of emergency braking practice, It will help you know your bike at a phenomenal rate.

Shame you weren't in Welly, Uncle B and myself always enjoy helping out a newbie rider. Surely some fellow KB'ers will do the same for you up there.

Your confidence will only grow with bike familiarity (i.e. Time on the bike). Don't ride in the wet until you've built alot of confidence first in the dry.

Also, try focusing on what you enjoy about motorcycling rather than what might happen to you. If your concerns are too great, you need to find a huge empty carpark and just get in there and ride around. As time goes on, practice on very quiet back streets, eventually you'll get to the point where, back streets are boring. Let yourself progress at a happy rate. You'll know when you really want to take another small step here and there.

it may be a good thing he isn't in Welly.. learning to ride in gale-force winds (on a regular occasion), can't be much of a morale booster

**Highlander** · 18th June 2006, 09:55

Agreed with the others here.
As parent I can understand where yours are coming from even if it is not expressed as well as perhaps it could be (I got the same from my wife when I got back on bikes a year ago).

Get out there and do it, your confience will improve and with it your riding and with that your confidence.....

PM me if you want to get together for a ride, though I too have a lot to learn and may be little more than moral support.

**FROSTY:Me** · 18th June 2006, 10:16

Ill second what Paul said. Its too early in your biking to be brim full of confidence.
My suggestion is to practice riding SLOWLY.
Heres a lil secret --You can teach a monkey to ride fast in a straight line but slow speed cornering ,braking etc -that will build your confidence to go fast.
Find a carpark.
Try figure 8s and zig zagging around the end of parking spots.
Try picking a spot on the road about 600mm square and then head towards it and see if you can stop in that spot.--Focus on smooth braking using both brakes.Dont sweat it if ya overshoot
See how slow you can ride in a straight line without putting your feet down. Hey if ya have to dab--well do it.

**ajturbo** · 18th June 2006, 10:42

Originally Posted by justsomeguy

Yup, I too would say PM Saul. He's a very good rider with a calm, friendly manner. See if you can get him to give you some pointers.

who told you all thoes lies?

na the group i meet up there were great and friendly.... just look out for that Babyb....

just pm any of the metioned people and organise a short one on one ride.. then build up to a full ride with a larger group... every time you get out there you will learn more and more.. even the experts

learn something every time they go out...

oh.. and have

FUN

and if you don't ... then your in trouble...hahahaha.. no presure

**Motig** · 18th June 2006, 10:50

A lot of good advice here. Follow it and you wont go wrong, definitely practice makes perfect but as nobodies perfect (well OK I'm pretty close) dont sweat the small stuff. Remember you didn't start walking straight away either.

And your parents, well I'd say their just worried for you and basically are trying to scare the shit out of you in an attempt to change your mind. Heck my daughter might want a bike soon I reckon I'll be freaking out as well. Its a parent thing about the little bird leaving the nest, showing independence etc.

**yungatart** · 18th June 2006, 11:14

Tell yourself a million times a day that you are a confident capable motorcyclist.This overrides the negative stuff from your Dad. Visualize yourself riding well. Get yourself a mentor as well. Next time you get on the bike, you will notice the difference immediately - you will be confident! Sounds a bit weird but it works! Go for it and enjoy your riding!

**diggydog** · 18th June 2006, 11:16

Originally Posted by Paul in NZ

Without going to extremes here (too much nervousness is a bad thing).....

You lack of confidence will keep you alive and over confidence will kill you quick. Be thankful you have a smart head on your shoulders and embrace that lack of confidence. Don't worry about it at all...

I've held a motorcycle for 35 years (give or take) and been without a bike for around 4 of them (2 years overseas) and I still worry, I still doubt and I still only ride at half the bikes capability and yet I'm still riding when lots of mates that were super confident are either dead or given up..

Don't fret, trust your senses and gently rack up the miles! It will get better!

Paul N

well said mate,

hear hear, i second that, i had no lessons and i got by.

**Ixion** · 18th June 2006, 11:26

What Mr Paul in NZ said. You say you are always wondering if you will fall off or crash? Have you fallen off or crashed yet? If not, why should you on this occasion?

But do not try to overide that survival instinct. It is was will keep you alive and riding for years.

There are two sorts of lack of confidence.

There is lack of confidence of the "I don't know what to do" variety. and there is lack of confidence of the "Um, I know what to do, but I really don't fancy doing anything that could get me hurt or killed" variety.

The first is dangerous. It is the lack of confidence that will cause you to do the wrong thing, or nothing, when you find that a corner is sharper than it looked, and crash.

The second is safe. It is the lack of confidence that will cause you to back off and slow down round that corner because it is blind and you cannot see round it. So when it turns out sharper than expected, and there is a vehicle stopped on the other side, you do not crash. and ride on smiling.

The first sort of lack of confidence should be eliminated, by tution. A ride safe couse, by advice from experienced BUT SAFE riders (be cautious of advice from fast riders - they may teach you how to ride fast, which is a different matter to riding safely. Check and see if the advisor has ever crashed. if so, think about that) .And time. Like all things practice makes perfect.

The second sort of lack of confidence should be fostered. It will keep you alive.Do not be shy to ride the pace that YOU are comfortable with. Remember that even if you are not as fast as the other chap, you will catch up while they are loading him into the ambulance.

In 40 years I have seen riders come. And go. Sometimes dead, sometimes smashed up, sometimes just blustering after a crash that "Bikes suck, get a car man". Sometimes lost lost interest, and the bike stayed in the shed for longer and longer. And I just ride on, because I am never confident. I always assume that something may go wrong.

**u4ea** · 18th June 2006, 11:50

Originally Posted by Ixion

What Mr Paul in NZ said. You say you are always wondering if you will fall off or crash? Have you fallen off or crashed yet? If not, why should you on this occasion?

But do not try to overide that survival instinct. It is was will keep you alive and riding for years.

There are two sorts of lack of confidence.

There is lack of confidence of the "I don't know what to do" variety. and there is lack of confidence of the "Um, I know what to do, but I really don't fancy doing anything that could get me hurt or killed" variety.

The first is dangerous. It is the lack of confidence that will cause you to do the wrong thing, or nothing, when you find that a corner is sharper than it looked, and crash.

The second is safe. It is the lack of confidence that will cause you to back off and slow down round that corner because it is blind and you cannot see round it. So when it turns out sharper than expected, and there is a vehicle stopped on the other side, you do not crash. and ride on smiling.

The first sort of lack of confidence should be eliminated, by tution. A ride safe couse, by advice from experienced BUT SAFE riders (be cautious of advice from fast riders - they may teach you how to ride fast, which is a different matter to riding safely. Check and see if the advisor has ever crashed. if so, think about that) .And time. Like all things practice makes perfect.

The second sort of lack of confidence should be fostered. It will keep you alive.Do not be shy to ride the pace that YOU are comfortable with. Remember that even if you are not as fast as the other chap, you will catch up while they are loading him into the ambulance.

In 40 years I have seen riders come. And go. Sometimes dead, sometimes smashed up, sometimes just blustering after a crash that "Bikes suck, get a car man". Sometimes lost lost interest, and the bike stayed in the shed for longer and longer. And I just ride on, because I am never confident. I always assume that something may go wrong.

those are true mindsets.been there and been told the same that i wont ever ride again........wrong.........if you fall off a horse do ya shoot it,we are on iron horses and it isnt for anyone to attempt to fail us!!!!!!!take all of the advice offered in and enjoy

**Uncle B** · 18th June 2006, 12:18

Originally Posted by Ixion

A ride safe couse, by advice from experienced BUT SAFE riders (be cautious of advice from fast riders - they may teach you how to ride fast, which is a different matter to riding safely. Check and see if the advisor has ever crashed. if so, think about that) .And time. Like all things practice makes perfect.

I agree with what you have said Ixion. I also believe you can ride fast (within reason) and safe at the same time but ONLY if you are experienced at it.
I have crashed (minor) and have used it as a learning curve of how far I can go and now know my limits and will never go there again. Have talked to other riders who have crashed (minor) and all have learnt something from it and come away with something positive.
I'm not saying go out and crash but it is a useful experience if you understand why you crashed when giving advise to others.

**Mr. Peanut** · 18th June 2006, 12:48

By not being a soft-cock.

I didn't even have a dad.

**Leong** · 18th June 2006, 12:53

I agree with almost all said above..... you've really only been on the road for 1 week, the weather hasn't been good, and the days are short..... not like learning in summer!! It's not as easy as driving a car!

I'd find myself a quiet carpark/subdivision etc where there is no, or very little traffic, and make a circuit/track that you can go round continuously till you're happy with your performance, then just keep making your circuit bigger. By doing this you're in a safe environment, where the only variable is yourself, so if anything goes wrong it hopefully won't be too serious!

**madmal64** · 18th June 2006, 13:29

Paul & Ixion along with the others have covered it off really well. The only thing that I would add is believe in yourself. Trust your abilites & it will come together nicely.
Its hard when others are telling you that you cant do this or that, but you know you can do it along with some good help from this bunch, so go out & prove the doubters wrong.