Two smokers - SMOKE ON . rest of you are shit out of luck

**Ixion** · 31st August 2006, 15:57

Some of you (the ones wot learned to read big words) will have seen in the Harold that on 27th October this year, the WoF is going to be changed to include a test for visible smoke. If your car or bike shows any visible smoke when the tester revs the shit out of it, it fails the WoF (trucks are exempt. Go figure!).

'Nway , this is obviously a big "oh oh" for two smokers, cos, they, like, SMOKE. 'Tis what they do!

So, after a wee game of "chase the bureaucrat", I got hold of a Russel Bates, in the Environmental section of the Ministry of Transport in Wellington.

Nice chap, and whats more he not only knew what a two stroke was, he knew that they smoked.

And - he confirmed that TWO STROKES ARE EXEMPT. Completely exempt. Doesn't apply.

And the exemption is in the VIR manual . The new version is only in draft and won't be released for about another month , but it will be in table 11-2-1.

Specifically exempt. You don't need any documentation or any other shit . If they try to come with "You need a letter from a car club " or anything, tell them to go read Table 11-2-1. We are EXEMPT.

So those submissions paid off. Russell said they got a lot of submissions about two strokes. I should think so, I practically wore my fingers out creating new identities!

Anything with a two stroke engine. And says Russell, if a tester doesn't know what a two stroke engine looks like he shouldn't be a WoF tester (not too sure on that one!). But anyway, it's all good.

Two smokers rock.Noisy dirty smelly smokey anti social hoon machines - environmentaly unfriendly ? - YOU BET.

(r.bates@transport.govt.nz 04 472 1253 for the record. )

And, by the way, he knew about BRONZ !

**Squeak the Rat** · 31st August 2006, 16:02

Excellent work and reporting there Mr Ixion. Very good news indeed.

[Edit:] There's a lesson there for all the nay-sayers who say that there's nothing we can do about it. Sometimes the process does work and it's worth a crack.

**Postie** · 31st August 2006, 16:07

good stuff, I wonder if it will work if i say my car is a two stroke???

**Steam** · 31st August 2006, 16:18

My brother had a 2-stroke car once, it could fit inside the rear of our Mitsubishi Delica van once you took the seats out. Tiny and hilarious!

Question; "Jim2; Was that a Daihatsu 360, Steam?" Yes, that sounds right to me. Long time ago, me was still at primary school, can't quite remember

**James Deuce** · 31st August 2006, 16:24

Was that a Daihatsu 360, Steam?

**sAsLEX** · 31st August 2006, 16:26

Originally Posted by Steam

My brother had a 2-stroke car once, it could fit inside the rear of our Mitsubishi Delica van once you took the seats out. Tiny and hilarious!

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.

**The Pastor** · 31st August 2006, 16:59

Originally Posted by sAsLEX

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.

Im not sure if I get you, but Ive rolled started alot of cars in reverse?

**McJim** · 31st August 2006, 17:03

Originally Posted by Postie

good stuff, I wonder if it will work if i say my car is a two stroke???

Not so far fetched - my dad had a 2 stroke Wartburg Knight estate car he bought back in 1973.

So if we all get old Wartburgs then we'll be fine.

**Ixion** · 31st August 2006, 17:05

Originally Posted by renegade master

Im not sure if I get you, but Ive rolled started alot of cars in reverse?

No he means the gearbox was in forward, but when it rolled back the motor started running in reverse. Two strokes will do that. Can be disconcerting if your ignition is a bit advanced and you stall at the lights. Take off and you shoot backweards.

**The Pastor** · 31st August 2006, 17:11

Originally Posted by Ixion

No he means the gearbox was in forward, but when it rolled back the motor started running in reverse. Two strokes will do that. Can be disconcerting if your ignition is a bit retarded and you stall at the lights. Take off and you shoot backweards.

I get ya....

That would be pretty shit. My mate has a 6 speed car and it goes

R 1 3 5
2 3 6

So Reverse and 1st are right next to each other, at a car park he ran into the car behind him, twice. Very funny.

**Firefight** · 31st August 2006, 17:11

Originally Posted by sAsLEX

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.

the early detroits used to do that often, in the old days when there was traffic lights at stanley street motorway which stopped trucks as they were going up towards motorway,we often used to see trucks with 6V92's (I think they were)
run back wards when trying to hill start just up from tennis courts, air goes in the exhaust and exhaust emissons come out the air intake.

Not sure why it worked like that, Motu would prob be able to explain it for us, was funny to watch, and used to give new drivers the shits.

F/F

**Magua** · 31st August 2006, 17:24

Two strokes, rock rock on!

**Motu** · 31st August 2006, 17:31

2 stroke diesels should run a dephazer on the injector pump drive,so they can't run in reverse.But Detroits don't have an injector pump as such,I guess they could run backwards,but I've had practicaly no detroit experiance.A diesel running in reverse is ungoverned - we were told the revs increase at the square per second! If you've ever been near a runaway diesel,it's a an experiance you'll never forget! In ships they can blow a hole in the bottom of the hull as it flys apart.

What a stupid damn rule this one is - I can just imagine those retards at the testing station failing all the old ladies on condensation coming out the exhaust on a cold morning.When was the last time you saw a car pouring smoke out the tailpipe - it just doesn't happen these days....and no tune up less than a couple of grand is going to fix it.It's a thinly disguised attack on diesels,which like 2 strokes smoke as a part of their design.Excessive smoke,sure...that's what I hope we are looking for...and I'd see a couple a year.

I'm a bit worried about my spare Diamante....I've got to decide whether to make it a runner,or use it as a donor for my own one.They had problems with valve guide seals and it smokes real bad if you leave it idling too long.A 24 valve dohc V6 is a bit of a mission to do valve seals on,even for myself.Might have to use a seal softener.

But yay for the smokers - special rule,just for us...eat ya heart out!!!!!!!!!