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Thread: Priorities: 1. Brake 2. Abuse ?

  1. #1
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    8th December 2004 - 11:00
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    Priorities: 1. Brake 2. Abuse ?

    I knew he was going to pull out in front of me. The inbuilt alarmamathingy in my biker distincts went crazy.

    Anyhoo - he duly pulled out and I applied the brakes a wee bit lining myself up to swerve around Mr Dicksplash, my left thumb fumbling for the hooter to tootle at him as I glide around him, just before I hurl abuse and deftly remove said thumb from tootling instrument and give him a one finger salute. ‘I may even throw in a kick at this side mirror If I get the chance’..thought I.

    Over-guesstimating his speed I suddenly realised I was running out of space fast before I ploughed into the rear end of Mr D’s cage. Slamming brakes on fullwallop - the front end bounces along as it locks and bounces on the tarmac (thankfully the mighty Biffbird is equipped with the dual combined brakeamathingywidget) - I miss making contact by about the width of a Zig Zag ciggie paper.

    Priorities. Snuff said.

    New pants please.

    Oh...and a louder tootler.
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

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    You Frog Fucker

  2. #2
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    21st September 2006 - 21:35
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    I hope the dicksplash has one testical missing after being ripped off, placed on a stick and then much yelling...

    what an arse wipe.


    Glad you won your fight with the cage dude...
    "Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary - that's what gets you."
    Jeremy Clarkson.

    Kawasaki 200mph Club

  3. #3
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    19th September 2006 - 22:02
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    Glad you pulled through ok...

  4. #4
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    26th February 2005 - 15:10
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    I wonder if one could set up a public address system on a bike to play a taped recording of suitable abuse?

    Tootling is so *impersonal* I feel. And yelling at them from inside a full face helmet, though therapeutic, is largey unnoticed by its target.

    But if motorists can hear bikie cops loudspeakers, they should be able to hear mine.

    Hm, is it legal to have a loudspeaker on a bike. I'll have to check.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  5. #5
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    Cager probably didn't even notice the whole affair.

    Good reminder. Taken on board.

  6. #6
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    I'm looking forward to my 139dB tootler. Everyone should have one. I'm not sure it could be regarded as melodious when your ears are bleeding however.


    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim2 View Post
    I'm looking forward to my 139dB tootler. Everyone should have one. I'm not sure it could be regarded as melodious when your ears are bleeding however.


    Where you get from?

  8. #8
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    2nd November 2005 - 07:09
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    I guess we should concentrate on avoiding not hooting first?

  9. #9
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    Mr WarlockNZ has imported 10 Stebel Nautilus (why is that word becoming a feature in my life? I just bought an F&P Nautilus dishwasher) horns for a bunch of KBers who stuck their hands up. They look like a combination Giant Snail/WWII Klaxon and produce air horn-type volume without the extra plumbing.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grahameeboy View Post
    I guess we should concentrate on avoiding not hooting first?
    Definitely. But imagine the joy of watching said dickhead's cranium explode from the spl pumped out from a Stebel Nautilus when you've come to a halt right next to his open window.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim2 View Post
    Mr WarlockNZ has imported 10 Stebel Nautilus (why is that word becoming a feature in my life? I just bought an F&P Nautilus dishwasher) horns for a bunch of KBers who stuck their hands up. They look like a combination Giant Snail/WWII Klaxon and produce air horn-type volume without the extra plumbing.
    I must read more theads!

  12. #12
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    4th May 2006 - 21:21
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    Shouting can work - I am blessed with a 'Scottish Bellow' which I can use with the helmet on and visor down.

    Just ask Johnny Rotten - he was about 4 car lengths away when I unleashed a torrent of McAbuse at a stupid cager that pulled out in front of the van I was behind causing the van to do an emergency stop and me to do the same - luckily I had left the appropriate amount of stopping distance between me and the van but I was displeased with the cager's actions and told them so using my four letter vocabulary.
    In space, no one can smell your fart.

  13. #13
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    Ahhh .. the 139Db horn of vengence!! ... mu ha ha ha

    Once this first lot actually arrives, I'll see if it is worth doing again ..


    http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ad.php?t=39375

  14. #14
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    1st November 2005 - 08:18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biff View Post
    I knew he was going to pull out in front of me. The inbuilt alarmamathingy in my biker distincts went crazy.
    Was he driving a bmw by any chance?
    There seems to be a distinct correlation between this type of cage and the monkey it contains...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    Was he driving a bmw by any chance?
    There seems to be a distinct correlation between this type of cage and the monkey it contains...
    Ah yes, the BMW monkey. I find the ones that drive the little sport convertable ones to be the worst. Had a wee run in with one of those riding to uni one day on my push bike. What an angry little man he was, and he couldn't understand why I hit him when he'd passed me going down a hill then immediately turned left across my path into a driveway. Was quite pleased that the whole ordeal left more of a mark on his cage than my bike
    We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to enjoy life. George Leigh Mallory, 1922

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