Arrggh. Blood everywhere.

[Grahameeboy]

I just stuck a baseball bat into the arse of a tubby gay voodoo doll. You didn't feel a thing right?

Well I know one thing if it was a baseball bat, it was not you buddy..................

[Mom]

Is that like having it cauterized Dan?

Initially scrub it out with hot soapy water Ixion. See what's left.

No! not the hot water!! lots of cold/tepid water with a little detergent, you will need to flush it many, many times to get the blood out

Well, that was a mistake. Thought that as it'd been stopped for a couple of hours I'd be safe to blow my nose to get rid of the dried blood n stuff. Which started it bleeding again. Though it's pretty much stopped after 5 minutes or so this time.

What a ruddy nuisance. Must be a bid bit of design i reckon

Dont blow your nose!!!! Tomorrow morning make an appointment to see your local doctor, explain what happened. He will most likely put a burning hot stick up your nose to seal the bleeder. Well thats what I used to tell my kids anyway, the reality is a bit of gauze with a non painful aneasthetic on it up your nose for a bit then a really cold stick, which you wont feel anyway. He will also check the trusty blood pressure while you are there as well. What ever, DONT BLOW YOUR NOSE!!

Mom

[Ixion]

Ixion, never having met you, I don't want to offend...but a bleeding nose can be fixed quite simply by having someone else pull your hair tightly at the crown of your head and holding it for a minute or so...this, of course, assumes that you still have hair to pull.
If not, disregard the above advice.

I still have hair. But I suspect that asking a passing random stranger to pull it might get an undesired response.

Maybe I can pull it myself.

Better still. Mr Finn, will you please pulkl the hair of that voodoo doll at the crown of the head.

thanks

[Scouse]

Dont blow your nose!!!! Tomorrow morning make an appointment to see your local doctor, explain what happened. What ever, DONT BLOW YOUR NOSE!!Mom

Is he alowed to fart then?

[Mom]

Is he alowed to fart then?

I think remembering back to my anatomy lessons that indeed the arsehole is a fair distance from the nostril...........farting should be fine......LOL

[BuFfY]

Sounds like an oil change is on the cards...

Give "buffy" a PM, she may "know people"

Who would I know?!!?

[Sanx]

I think remembering back to my anatomy lessons that indeed the arsehole is a fair distance from the nostril.

Judging by some of the comments I read on KB every day, I'm not so sure about that...

[oldrider]

Bloody (literally) hell. Went down the road to the shops. And half way there my ruddy (literally) nose starts streaming blood like a fire hydrant.

By the time I got stopped and got my helmet off, it was covered in blood (inside) .

How do you remove blood from the inside of a helmet?

Damn thing wouldn't stop bleeding for ages, I was sitting at the road side , drip-drip-dripping for at least 20 minutes.

And it's *still* bleeding slightly. As well as the nose being all clogged up with hard dried blood.

Never had THAT happen before. Nosebleeds and full face helmets are fundamentally incompatible.

I hope it's stopped bleeding by the time I have to go home.

EDIT : Also how do you remove blood from bike plastics. It doesn't seem to wipe cleanly off.

Nose bleeds?? You will be breaking out in pimples next, are your balls dropping at long last?

As they say in the cheese adds, good things take time but you might just be a very late developer! Cheers John.

[Swoop]

...with a non painful aneasthetic...

Mr Ixion has already prescribed himself a medium dosage of highly medicinal Speights.

As the only responsible healthcare professional on this site, I totally endorse this course of treatment. If you require a presciption for your local, let me know...

[MaxCannon]

Don't laugh but I have a cure for nose bleeds that actually works.

At Judo you often get smacked in the nose, especailly if you fight a clumsy bastard like me

To stop nose bleeds we'd hold the nose closed with one hand to stop blood going everywhere. Then tip your head forwards so you are looking at your feet, with your other hand use the fleshy part on the opposite side to you thumb and lightly tap at the base of your neck until the bleeding stops.
The tapping should only be quick and not too hard.

Hard to explain in words bascially it looks like you are trying to chop your neck in the same way Karate guys chop bits of wood with their hand.

First time I saw it I thought it was a joke but it really does work.

As for cleaning blood - ask someone's Mum. Mums always know how to clean blood off clothing.

[hobdar]

ok i suffer from nose bleeds often during season changes and when i get really hot.....

Two things, never blow nose......or sneeze if you can help it........

If you have access to running super cold water stick your wrists under while holding your nose......i suspect that it shrinks the blood vessels and slows the flow helping clotting...but not sure seems to work for me


Never tilt back cause it will go down your throat and could make you chuck...not sure about pulling the hair on your head i don't have enought to try.........

And if its only happened once sure see your doc but avoid getting it cauterised hurts like hell and often doesnt fix anything..... imho........opps four things....

[Ixion]

Well it is OK so far, Though irritating. I am treating it like one of those bolts, where you have managed to get it just tight enough, but you know that the next time you touch it with a spanner, the thread will strip.

On reflection, I am inclined to suspect overheating as a primary cause.

I was very warm. And I remember that both the A10 and my 3TA used , when overheated, to leak from joints normally oiltight.

Humans work on much the same princilples as motorcycles. I think a great deal of trouble is due to overheating.

On the way home, I left off the uxorially mandated wooly pully, and rode with my jacket unfastened . A much cooler ride

I think I just need to harden up. I will try the neck chopping trick, it sounds promising.

[Colapop]

Get your blood pressure checked and stop being such a hardarse. I had a mate had to have a blood transfusion because "Aw it's just a bleeding nose" The clot moved or some shit while he was sleeping and it started bleeding again. He bled for sometime before his missus woke up covered in blood. The docs reckoned he could have bled to death... A ruptured blood vessel apparently... farkin' freaky!

[Blondini]

just dont get admitted to a hospital in NZ til they give you your brand new bar code

[Disco Dan]

Who would I know?!!?

Vampires. Blood doners.