Moron effing tourists

**maxworldbiker** · 18th January 2008, 09:55

I live in Nelson. Mapua, to be exact but no, I'm not a nudist. Its a lovely area, Nelson/Marlborough/Golden Bay. Anyone who has ridden around this part of the country will tell y'all how great the roads are. There's only one problem. Fkn campervans!!!

Last year I rode down to the Burt Munro, down the west coast, over the Haast, in thru Wanaka and Queenstown and on down to Giggletown for the weekend. Fabulosum trip, but I took my life into my hands. Campervan foolishness nearly cost me my life three times, my husband's life twice, and our friends (and my other bike!) twice too. The Crown Range was particularly terrifying, and I saw hubby's life flash before me when a camper swung out in front of him just as he was about to pull level with it. Braking hard caused him to wobble, but by some miracle he stayed upright. If he couldn't have done that, there were only two choices - over the edge or under the wheels of the camper. Sheesh!

Coming back after the weekend, over the Queen Charlotte Drive road, the sight of twenty eight campervans in convoy (yes, really!) - headed towards Nelson - struck fear into the heart of us all.

Since then, summer has come and Nellie, with its twisty, windey, biker-heaven roads to lovely places, has been swamped by even more of the same scourge-of-mankind-to-motorcyclists. What planet are these people on? Isn't it enough that we have to contend with police cars doing u-turns on blind bends and trying to blame the motorcyclists who were nearly killed and who had their bikes written off as a result? We also have campervans, in alarming numbers, indicating left and turning right, u-turning without even bothering to slow down in front of us, treating us like cyclists and overtaking us on blind bends and forcing us into the ditches, etc, et bloody cetera.

I haven't dared to go out on my bike for the last month this summer, as the roads around here are far too full of dangerous meandering, impulse driven motorized tourists to even contemplate it. Even in my truck I don't feel safe, not after seeing what happened last week up near home when a petrol tanker on the main drag couldn't stop in time for a van u-turning right in front of him. What a lovely mess. If he'd been on a bike? Nooo chance of coming out clean. One of the hazards of choosing to live in a tourist spot, you might say, and you'd be right, but why does it have to be SOOOOO much of a hazard? Why can't these campervan fools be made to take a competence course before they get out on the road and kill us all?

Finally, the hoardes are slowly leaving, and soon it might be safe to travel on two wheels again, while there's still some summer left. Ironic that I recently rode clear across America on congested freeways and deserted backroads with NO sense of the vulnerability I feel just three miles from my own house!

Does anyone know where I can get a large, cheap consignment of explosives so I can blow up all the campervans in New Zealand, before next summer?

**Beemer** · 18th January 2008, 09:57

Don't forget, it's not just foreign tourists who use campervans! Take a look at how many line up for the Wanaka air show - you can't tell me they are all foreigners, so NZers who drive campervans also have to put their hands up to inconsiderate behaviour.

We live near Levin and trust me, it's not just campervans you have to watch out for, it's every moron you share the road with! There are some idiots on two, four and more wheels!

Cripes, just looked at your profile - talk about eerie! Almost same age, married, no kids, lots of animals, self-employed - scary!

**maxworldbiker** · 18th January 2008, 10:04

Yeah. I had this theory, from years ago, that everyone needs to go out on a motorcycle and get used to riding it as part of their car licence testing. I find that from being a biker I tend to be kinda programmed to see them more clearly than I perhaps might if I hadn't ridden a bike. Over in the UK, at various points in the road like roundabouts etc, they have signs - THINK BIKE! - and statistically they have fewer collisions with motorcyclists in those areas where the signs are. Given that we have so many scenic roads that are frequented by bikes, we could do with some of those signs. Maybe I'll put some up myself....

**scumdog** · 18th January 2008, 10:13

Milford Road down here is diabolical - there's a couple of pics in the Southaldn Times showing a camper van crossing right over the centre line to cut a corner and TWO cars in the act of overtaking a group of other cars - and crossing the yellow line while doing so.

Increase the penalties!!! (Like impounding rental cars if the driver is caught doing this shit)

After all, they can't really say "Oh, I didn't realise" can they?? (They might try though).

**Ixion** · 18th January 2008, 10:16

It is interesting. So many people so often claim that drivers overseas (almost any overseas) are so very vastly superior to those in NZ.

Yet, when those same overseas drivers come to NZ, everybody also agrees that they are absolutely terrible drivers.

Is it because we are on the bottom of the woprld, causing blood to rush to the head I wonder?

**duckonin** · 18th January 2008, 10:22

lovely place Mapua shall be back in Feb for a couple of weeks after going to the Cargil via CC then to Steward Island and will retrace your steps on the way back Franz jo, Grey, the port,then on to Mapua for a rest at your lovely camp hope the council has fixed that awfull smelling sewage pipe at the entrance of the lesiure park PHEWWWW!!!!!

Shall keep a good eye on those camper vans, trouble is the driver does not have a lot of suround vision in them, plus the drivers cannot drive anyway, they back into anything at all

**bull** · 18th January 2008, 10:25

I reckon the problem is purely the drivers are not used to such a big vehicle, wallowing along the road and through corners etc.

They should require an extra license class to drive them - but then the hire places would be spewing as hardly any rentals would be booked.

SO...

The fix would be that you have to pay the hire companies and ltsa a fee that gets you onto a 2 day course run by LTSA, using hire companies vehicle for practical and basic theory test.

Just maybe then they will realise its not a fricking car! longer stopping distances, different cornering for its wheelbase etc.

But i agree its not just tourists, its drivers in general. and as a road user all you can do is make sure you put yourself in the safest possible situation as you go, and in a heartbeat it could still all turn pearshaped.

Geez using the roads is dangerous.

**NighthawkNZ:Me** · 18th January 2008, 10:32

Walk... Vehicles are dangerous...

**yungatart** · 18th January 2008, 10:37

Yep, campervans ...burn 'em...and Subarus and 4WDs, and vans and trucks and....you get the picture!
Or...just learn to ride proactively/defensively and get over it!

**Macktheknife** · 18th January 2008, 10:41

Originally Posted by maxworldbiker

Yeah. I had this theory, from years ago, that everyone needs to go out on a motorcycle and get used to riding it as part of their car licence testing.

Nice idea, I have been saying this same thing for 20 years but no-one listens and there is no way anyone will take it up.

Originally Posted by maxworldbiker

Over in the UK, at various points in the road like roundabouts etc, they have signs - THINK BIKE! - and statistically they have fewer collisions with motorcyclists in those areas where the signs are. Given that we have so many scenic roads that are frequented by bikes, we could do with some of those signs. Maybe I'll put some up myself....

Quite like this one too, good luck with it, but some idiot will probably complain to the local council and you will get fined for the removal.

I think the ultimate really though is to drive an APC when they are out, really teach them a lesson for pulling out on you! lol

**Jantar** · 18th January 2008, 10:50

Originally Posted by bull

I reckon the problem is purely the drivers are not used to such a big vehicle, wallowing along the road and through corners etc.

They should require an extra license class to drive them - but then the hire places would be spewing as hardly any rentals would be booked.....

Technically, they do require an extra licence class. Because of the weight of most of them, drivers should have a class 2 licence. (HT for us old timers). But I have it on good authority that there is a class exemption up to 6000 kg for camper vans to be driven on class 1.

**bull** · 18th January 2008, 11:34

Good point Jantar - guess its like the hire moving trucks that joe bloggs can drive with the little exemption letters. Its a crazy system we live in. Theres a reason why you have to be licensed to drive the heavy vehicles - they are different and in turn need different driving techniques.

**Horse** · 18th January 2008, 11:53

From http://www.ltsa.govt.nz/factsheets/11.html:

Class 1 - car licence

A holder of a Class 1 learner, restricted or full licence can drive:

* a vehicle that has a GLW or GCW of 4500 kg or less (this includes tractors or combinations of vehicles, but does not include motorcycles)
* a moped or all-terrain vehicle
* any campervan or tradeperson's vehicle with a GLW of 6000 kg or less and an on-road weight not exceeding 4500 kg.

Note that 4500kg is big. The average f-ing Maui campervan would be a lot less than that.

**Swoop** · 18th January 2008, 12:16

Originally Posted by maxworldbiker

Does anyone know where I can get a large, cheap consignment of explosives so I can blow up all the campervans in New Zealand, before next summer?

One of the NZ Armed Forces is supplying the maori "terrorists" with firearms, so explosives shouldn't be any problem.

Originally Posted by bull

I reckon the problem is purely the drivers are not used to such a big vehicle, wallowing along the road and through corners etc.

They should require an extra license class to drive them - but then the hire places would be spewing as hardly any rentals would be booked.

The call has gone out for campervans to be banned fron the Te Anau Rd.

Perhaps the solution is to require kiwi drivers (certified and approved by various authorities, of course) to cheauffer them on that road? Gainful employment for kiwi's and also allows more gawping time for the tourists and their cameras.