Can you fix it or are you helpless?

[Bass]

EFI doesn't stop you working on a bike, only ignorance does that. Actually makes it easier in some regards; when was the last time a carby said to you 'Excuse me, but one of my jets is blocked'.

Very true, but you usually need a specific (and often rather expensive) gadget to converse with the bike. If you have one, it can save untold time and tell you a few other things about your bike, that you may not have suspected as well.
These gadgets are seldom available on the side of the road 5km west of Hicksville though.

[imdying]

Yep, generally on a Suzuki it's a very rare, very specific, and very expensive paper clip.

Best to look out on trademe, apparently they had a red one on there a few years back.

Then you too can look at your specific and expensive dash board to see the fault codes

Admittedly you'll often need an allen key and a phillips head to get the body work off to access the connector.

[Bass]

Yep, generally on a Suzuki it's a very rare, very specific, and very expensive paper clip.

Best to look out on trademe, apparently they had a red one on there a few years back.

Then you too can look at your specific and expensive dash board to see the fault codes

Admittedly you'll often need an allen key and a phillips head to get the body work off to access the connector.

The Holden used to be that simple - assuming you memorised the fault codes of course and given that the gearbox was on the same computer, there were shitloads of them. We ARE talking roadside repairs here remember (sarky bugger).
Wish the Triumph was as easy.
The connector is under the seat and accessable with the ignition key however.
Have to say that I didn't know you could short the connector to trigger the fault codes on the Zook tho. Do you know how many other makes allow for that?

[Gremlin]

My bike will produce fault codes through two different lights on the dash (means different things). Then it gets plugged into diagnostics to be assessed.

Every service, it gets plugged in for a quick check as well.

Once someone gives me the software, I should be able to service it myself, via the laptop!

[Mikkel]

If it's anything serious there's no way I'd start dicking around with it at the road side - not enough tools, no service manual, no beerfridge, etc.

Better to call AA and have them pick it up and then deal with it at a time when the odds are better.

My mechanical mishaps so far are limited to a blocked in-line fuelfilter (felt as if I was running outta gas, but still had plenty) which I quite easily dealt with and a snapped clutch cable which only caused me a slight amount of stress and to alienate a car-driver in order to get home to HQ.

That's not counting crashes - but that said I haven't had a crash and not been back on the, more-or-less intact, crashed bike again inside 5 minutes.

[The Pastor]

These days im guessing if i a bike broke down mid ride its either out of gas - or somthing really big went boom.

Dont have many unreliable bikes theses days.

[Conquiztador]

IMHO you take this a tad too seriously, but then I guess satire is not to everyone's taste.

Well, I am quite fond of the "old girls" actually. And as much as I can see through the comments and clearly realise that it is satire, humour, I don't think they deserve that. Call me whatever you want, but I think they deserve more respect then being used to get cheap laughs from the younger brigade.

[Ride it till the red]

A mechanically inclined father and a huge array of tools mean it would be almost criminal for me not to give it a go myself!

Anything from turning the box of bits i was handed in return for my $142 at age 16 into a fully functional (albiet not legal at that time ) bike to putting a working motor and manual gearbox into a blown up and automatic car i towed home from Hamilton (and i mean towed, none of this trailer shit we had a rope we were fine!)

Although I will readily admit that technology does make things seem a bit more difficult sometimes, and sometimes i decide that bugger it I'd rather pay the shop ten bucks to put a new tube in than muck around with bloody tire levers!

[Subike]

If I can't pull it apart
Put it back togeather,
Start it and ride it.
I dont want it.

Modern hi tec electrictery systems are not hard to learn,
just a pain in the ass to diagnose.

but I prefere the low tec engines for ease of working on

[roadracingoldfart]

[QUOTE=Ixion;1933553] Real bikers had to grapple with CEI.

Speaking of which, you were going to see if Sulco did CEI taps and dies? I have found almost almy Whitworth spanners, but I need CEI taps and dies.
QUOTE]


I have CEI and BA , bsw , unc, bsf , met , met fine, met extra fine.......plus a few others that are weird.
You can get CEI from any FEW agent in N.Z. (still from south africa)
R. Cameron and Co may have some but try Trade Tools for a shot.

Ive ammassed thousands of dollars of diff taps and dies and stuff and i treat them all like gold as you never know when you need them. I had to sort an old Norton spoke recently and i managed to identify it as a BA pitch lol.

Cheers Paul.

[Bonez]

I like having a tinker, but sometimes can't be bothered. Don't mind others doing some work if need be. I have spares. One bike in bits at the mo, three waiting for roundtooits and two mobile. 5 with so called "multi-valve" (never seen a 4 cycle engine with one valve yet) and so called electronic ignition (you know like points but different).

Non of this wiz bang computer stuff though. Wont say a will not get a bike with one in the future.

[Voltaire]

Sort of depends what the problem is.....
I once did a BMW gearbox swap on the side of the road outside Motobins in England, but on my modern bike just take the AA card and mobile phone.
I do like to have a few tools under the seat, just in case.

[Ixion]

[quote=roadracingoldfart;1935700]

Real bikers had to grapple with CEI.

Speaking of which, you were going to see if Sulco did CEI taps and dies? I have found almost almy Whitworth spanners, but I need CEI taps and dies.
QUOTE]


.. I had to sort an old Norton spoke recently and i managed to identify it as a BA pitch lol.

Cheers Paul.

I thought spokes were a rolled tread form, not cut, and had their won sizing? maybe it was fluked to the BA sizing?

But bikes spokes were different to car spokes. Naturally.

[Ixion]

[quote=roadracingoldfart;1935700]

Real bikers had to grapple with CEI.

Speaking of which, you were going to see if Sulco did CEI taps and dies? I have found almost almy Whitworth spanners, but I need CEI taps and dies.
QUOTE]


I have CEI and BA , bsw , unc, bsf , met , met fine, met extra fine.......plus a few others that are weird.
You can get CEI from any FEW agent in N.Z. (still from south africa)
R. Cameron and Co may have some but try Trade Tools for a shot.

Ive ammassed thousands of dollars of diff taps and dies and stuff and i treat them all like gold as you never know when you need them. I had to sort an old Norton spoke recently and i managed to identify it as a BA pitch lol.

Cheers Paul.

I have most bike sizes in BSF/BSW, plus BSP, UNF/UNC/SAE. Not much in BA, I find one seldom needs to cut those. And some CEI, but I have gaps. Gaps is bad. Murphy says the one you don't have is the one you'll need. Dies is not so critical, probably can put it up in the lathe . Taps is more important. I can get them from the UK if I have to.

I used to get CEI from Trade Tools, back when they were in Federal Street. Went back there and the bastards have gone! Tracked them down in Souf Auckland (WTF) , asked some young guy about CEI and he just gaped ta me. Never ehard of it I suppose, couldn't have been more than 40, so he wouldn't know much about anything . It was just a general enquiry, so I didn't do the "Please fetch the old guy from out the back" thing. No idea at all where one would get generic CEI bolts or nuts nowadays. Worlds gone to the dogs.

[AD345]

Good grief, what a lot of nostalgic nonsense. As a child of the 60's and 70's I'm afraid I left my rose tinted glasses back with my cuban heels and can of Brylcreem.

The bikes of the day were just that - the bikes of the day. They were made with the technology available and can only be judged in the context of their time. That level of technology spawned a comensurate level of reliability (light years ahead of, for example, the side-valve technology of the 30's and 40's) and people rode with appropriate precautions - some of which meant having the ability to make on-the-fly repairs.

Another 30 to 40 years later and technology and lifestyles are again completely different. Not only do I notknow how to repair my bike at the side of the road - I don't expect to ever bloody have to! In the last 20 years I have not had a single vehicle break down to the point where it could not be driven/ridden home - including a fairly expansive period of time spent doing rather interesting things with Nissan Patrol way out in the back of beyond (you go to the middle of nowhere and THEN head out into the wilderness).

I don't fix my vehicles - if they break (which is seldom as stated above) there's other people with the time and means to do so.

You (for the most part) don't make your own bread.

I do that for you.