Other new drugs for women

**Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)** · 1st May 2007, 13:46

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they
moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence (I certainly need this lol BMW), and prevents conception (Got this once sussed)

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urgeto flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person."

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency,
duration,and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

**yod** · 1st May 2007, 13:50

**MSTRS:Me** · 1st May 2007, 13:52

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember .... to lift the toilet seat.

Jeeze, and to think that most of us had finally got it sussed. Now you tell us you want it lifted up.
Sheesh. Women. Psfftt.

**Storm** · 1st May 2007, 18:20

It took me 26 years to put the seat down. Oh well, now its all your fault I will be 52 before I learn the "new" way to do it.
Or will you change your mind yet again?

**jrandom** · 1st May 2007, 18:27

I think the toilet comment, gentlemen, refers to the common practice of sneaking in for a whizz and not bothering to flip the seat up before and down after.

In such situations, no matter how carefully one aims, a sheen of microscopic urine droplets always ends up on the seat surface, ready to adhere to the unsuspecting arse of the next lady to sit on it.

**Curious_AJ** · 1st May 2007, 23:06

HAHA! i love this ...

**Pwalo** · 2nd May 2007, 12:25

Originally Posted by Fish

I think the toilet comment, gentlemen, refers to the common practice of sneaking in for a whizz and not bothering to flip the seat up before and down after.

In such situations, no matter how carefully one aims, a sheen of microscopic urine droplets always ends up on the seat surface, ready to adhere to the unsuspecting arse of the next lady to sit on it.

I think that the problem is that you are using the female toilets.

**Mutley** · 2nd May 2007, 21:45

Really enjoyed reading this post. Haven't wheezed so much for a while.

**jafar** · 2nd May 2007, 21:51

Originally Posted by Storm

It took me 26 years to put the seat down. Oh well, now its all your fault I will be 52 before I learn the "new" way to do it.
Or will you change your mind yet again?

But of course they will change their minds , tis what women do best

**Virago** · 2nd May 2007, 23:03

Originally Posted by Fish

......no matter how carefully one aims, a sheen of microscopic urine droplets always ends up on the seat surface, ready to adhere to the unsuspecting arse of the next lady to sit on it.

You must have a funny shaped dick. You should consult a flautist - they'll teach you how to hold it properly.

**Virago** · 2nd May 2007, 23:07

Originally Posted by Mutley

Really enjoyed reading this post. Haven't wheezed so much for a while.

Well if your going to do "wheeze", put the bloody toilet seat back up again this time....

**Beemer** · 6th May 2007, 13:46

The last one is my favourite - I get sick of people, who on finding I am a journalist, start off with "oh, I must tell you this REALLY funny story, you may be able to use it..." Most of the time it ISN'T funny and I certainly wouldn't subject any of my editors to it!

**<G>** · 6th May 2007, 22:55

I can relate to most of this, but would rather they left the toilet seat up, that way when I put it down and there wouldn't be any of their excretions on it! Here's to keeping the loo seat up. Wish they could keep their aim straight though; but have more sympathy now that I have to put petrol into a relatively small hole :-) my aim isn't that straight! ! !