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Thread: Vaseline and Dishes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    25th January 2007 - 10:06
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    '14 Multistrada 1200S
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    Vaseline and Dishes

    Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one
    day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
    "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike
    is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says,
    "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."
    "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
    "No problem," he says. And in they go.

    Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the
    stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

    So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches
    over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

    Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
    F M S

  2. #2
    Join Date
    9th July 2005 - 12:00
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    Great joke, just a shame some arsehole is going to ruin it.

  3. #3
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    He hasn't found it yet... I always liked that one...
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  4. #4
    Join Date
    6th March 2007 - 19:58
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    nice one!
    Luck is when oportunity and preparation meet

  5. #5
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by stanko View Post
    Great joke, just a shame some arsehole is going to ruin it.
    Fucken A.

    http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...aseline+Dishes
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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