For the fellas!!!

[Disco Dan]

DiscoDan is an attempt to get 'in' with the great crowd, eh?? eh?

I only drink "warm" beer.. ya know.. being English and all... do they do warm speights "down there"?

[MyGSXF:Me]

Thanks for the laughs tonight people.. Has been fun!!! I'm off to

ps: I thought this thread would rark up the natives.. & well well.. whadda ya know...

Jen

[scumdog]

I only drink "warm" beer.. ya know.. being English and all... do they do warm speights "down there"?

"Speights" - only for the 'older' types, me? I'm a 'anywhere but with taste' guy.

[avgas]

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
- They can bloody walk, i do

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
- One is a cross training sport and not worth actually taking to matches events etc. Music and dance can be done with walking....another crosstraining sport.

There is no fast food.
- Nor fat chicks

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
- Do most of that already - without the 6 credit cards and the 10 pairs of high heels that don't ever see outside the box

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
- Childs love gardens

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.
- Nah flag it, why remember someone elses lotto numbers. Cards are just extra rubbish. Rather than say "hi, how is blah blah blah..." its better to T.A.L.K over a beer.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
- Appointments are sweet. If my life is kids then its not like spending the time at some clinic is altering my life anyhow. Ever worked on pager? As for the cupcakes.....banana pikelates - quick, easy and the kids can make em

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
- I do that also - flowers are gay, what you need is a hardy vine that is presentable, grapes etc. Add some feijoa's in the corner and your away. Just need to hack everything every year with a scrub cutter.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
- Kids asleep before Shorty st these days? Chores done during the day with teh kids are at daycare.

There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.
- Bah NZ TV is only every good at 2am when all you have is the Maori Channel anyhow

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.
- I do that anyhow, they are actually a good laugh.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.
- Or just not have that Latte' at Columbus and do it then

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
- Or just tell them they cant leave the table until they have, if they dont finish that meal then the have it re-heated until they do finish it.....nothing new until the old is gone.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.
- Clenliness is next to the sink. The shoes are silly - you can look good without a 5 in heel. Leave that for when the kids are in bed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.
- Its gotta be better then the "I want to bash this thing in with a hammer cos im so horny and cant hump anything" every 5 hours. Tampon is just a torpedo to sink the battleships inside the womens body....dont you know.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
- School meetings are crap, Parent / Teacher meetings are important. Church can happen when the kids want. Parks are awesome.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
- Books get you away from the crap that is life. Food is fun to prepare, and lets you have a reward (eating), dressing kids is more fun then requisition forms, brush teeth.....they have education everywhere for that, likewise comb hair.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's
name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
- Every father know the important ones, they just dont boast about it.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.
- Your child or Your boss.......which is the worse of 2 evils?

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".
- Yes i am, show them a fake contract signed by the Prime Minister and God

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
- Will the kids be rotating? or the same ones all the time.....as you may find the kids all vote their fathers off....and are left on the island on their own as it should be.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called
MOTHER!
- better than employee. When was the last "Employees Day" or a Fathers Day present that wasn't crap.

[Disco Dan]

Thanks for the laughs tonight people.. Has been fun!!! I'm off to

Jen

You put the electric blanket on for me?

[scumdog]

You put the electric blanket on for me?

Only for her father - ME!!!!

[Disco Dan]

Only for her father - ME!!!!

Do you prefer her to use protection or me?

[Disco Dan]

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. ETC ETC.....

WTF was that???

Off topic? naaaaaaaaaaa.....

[MyGSXF:Me]

...all of the abovementioned inbetween...

holy crap man you've been BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scumdog]

Do you prefer her to use protection or me?

C'mon ya dick, there is NO potection that tough!!!

[Disco Dan]

holy crap man you've been BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so whats your bra size?

(sorry scummy had to ask)

*runs away.. removes number plate*

[Disco Dan]

C'mon ya dick, there is NO potection that tough!!!

Deadlocks.

[scumdog]

Deadlocks.

Nah, just in your dreams...and Bob Marleys...

[Disco Dan]

Nah, just in your dreams...and Bob Marleys...

40 ounce of Whiskey and Kiwibiker... oh dear...

maybe I went toooooo far...

[Disco Dan]

Nah, just in your dreams...and Bob Marleys...

Hammer time....