Nigel Latta parenting show TV1 tonight.

[Ms Piggy]

Dunno if anyone else has been watching it, I have. God it's good stuff! Anyway he was talking about the BIG lies we tell kids.

BIG lies we tell kids (Nigel Latta)

1. Life is fair.
2. Everyone gets a turn.
3. Everyone gets what they deserve.
4. It’s not about winning (it’s about taking part).
5. You’re special.
6. Everyone gets a prize.

• “Birthday parties – we’re so terrified that a kid will feel left out that everyone has to get a present. Kids grow up with a huge sense of entitlement and the view that you get stuff in life for just turning up.”

• “Genuine self-esteem comes from accomplishment, not from being told you’re making a good job when you’re not…Kids need to find out that you’re not always great at everything, that you don’t always win and that it’s okay to feel disappointed and bad if you lose. The moral of the story is: try again or try harder or try something else, we aren’t all special at everything.”

• “What I say to my boys is this: Boys, you’re very special to me but those people think you’re annoying, be quiet.”

• “Let’s be honest with our kids and not sugar coat it – we need to encourage them to do their best but be realistic about success or failure. Life isn’t fair so get used to it.”

• "Be realistic…don’t try to insulate your kids from all failure and risk, they’re both parts of adult life and we need to learn how to cope with them. Don’t cotton wool your kids."

[Trudes]

It's a great show isn't it! It's really all just good old fashioned common sense, but it seems many people have forgotten how they were probably raised.
I've been a nanny for about 10 years and have cared for many kids, all different but all fundamentally wanting the same things; love, care, consistancy and boundaries. One thing all the parents I've worked for have said is that their kids always know where they stand with me, I'm happy to listen to what they want, but if I say no it means no, not keep nagging me until I give in. Not always easy, but worth it in the end, kids learn very quickly.

[peasea]

Dunno if anyone else has been watching it, I have. God it's good stuff! Anyway he was talking about the BIG lies we tell kids.

BIG lies we tell kids (Nigel Latta)

1. Life is fair.
2. Everyone gets a turn.
3. Everyone gets what they deserve.
4. It’s not about winning (it’s about taking part).
5. You’re special.
6. Everyone gets a prize.

• “Birthday parties – we’re so terrified that a kid will feel left out that everyone has to get a present. Kids grow up with a huge sense of entitlement and the view that you get stuff in life for just turning up.”

• “Genuine self-esteem comes from accomplishment, not from being told you’re making a good job when you’re not…Kids need to find out that you’re not always great at everything, that you don’t always win and that it’s okay to feel disappointed and bad if you lose. The moral of the story is: try again or try harder or try something else, we aren’t all special at everything.”

• “What I say to my boys is this: Boys, you’re very special to me but those people think you’re annoying, be quiet.”

• “Let’s be honest with our kids and not sugar coat it – we need to encourage them to do their best but be realistic about success or failure. Life isn’t fair so get used to it.”

• Be realistic…don’t try to insulate your kids from all failure and risk, they’re both parts of adult life and we need to learn how to cope with them. Don’t cotton wool your kids.

He should have co-hosted with Sue Bradford for some balance.

[Headbanger]

I reckon if you buy into this new age PC parenting bullshit then you deserve weak spoilt kids. Shouldn't need a TV program to point it out.

I have noticed when I'm out with my boys I'm the only dad daring their kids to climb shit and then jump off it.

Getting them to race each other down steep hills is always a setup for a face plant and some chuckles.

I had them at a local park, They were tearing around, wrestling, rolling down the hills, They drew a crowd of kids (clean as a whistle) and parents who stood to the side watching them. Nearly made me sick.

I also tell my kids they suck at stuff when they lose, The oldest one did try that crap on me about how everyone wins, I shot that down quick, One winner son, everyone else is the loser.

[pete376403]

Dunno if anyone else has been watching it, I have. God it's good stuff! Anyway he was talking about the BIG lies we tell kids.

BIG lies we tell kids (Nigel Latta)

1. Life is fair.
2. Everyone gets a turn.
3. Everyone gets what they deserve.
4. It’s not about winning (it’s about taking part).
5. You’re special.
6. Everyone gets a prize.

• “Birthday parties – we’re so terrified that a kid will feel left out that everyone has to get a present. Kids grow up with a huge sense of entitlement and the view that you get stuff in life for just turning up.”

• “Genuine self-esteem comes from accomplishment, not from being told you’re making a good job when you’re not…Kids need to find out that you’re not always great at everything, that you don’t always win and that it’s okay to feel disappointed and bad if you lose. The moral of the story is: try again or try harder or try something else, we aren’t all special at everything.”

• “What I say to my boys is this: Boys, you’re very special to me but those people think you’re annoying, be quiet.”

• “Let’s be honest with our kids and not sugar coat it – we need to encourage them to do their best but be realistic about success or failure. Life isn’t fair so get used to it.”

• Be realistic…don’t try to insulate your kids from all failure and risk, they’re both parts of adult life and we need to learn how to cope with them. Don’t cotton wool your kids.

But but but...doesn't this go all against the Official Social Workers Creed? Could you ever admit to admiring this and then hope to get a job with CYF?

[Genestho]

Brilliant stuff eh? Don't watch the show, but am familiar with his parent guide work! Love his no nonsense - get a grip approach!!
Should be standard issue though.

This whole birthday party thing is ridiculous, we played a few old fashioned party games this year!!!

OMG! There was only one winner!!! WTF!?

Wrapping our kids up in an unreal dreamworld does neither them, or us as parents any favours!!!

My neice got a wakeup call at 8, that life is unfair, and often we don't win if we don't strive for it.
Her whole life was over praised by her Mum, to the extent where she thought she was better than adults!!!

Headbanger - try being the only Mum being interactive. I've been teaching my son to skateboard I'm learning myself Hope I don't loose my teeth

[peasea]

But but but...doesn't this go all against the Official Social Workers Creed? Could you ever admit to admiring this and then hope to get a job with CYF?

I think its the 'Creed Of Working Socialites' or COWS for short.

Helen, step forward please.

[mynameis]

But Mummy said I was special.

[98tls]

Hes not bad eh,still laughing about "fat kids" ie "hello there fat cause you feed them to much".

[onearmedbandit]

Excellent common sense show. Like someone above said we shouldn't even need it on TV, but ah that's the day and age we live in.

[FJRider]

I have the DVD set to record it automaticlly... even if I'm watching it ...

[ajturbo]

WTF???????????????

they are LIES ????????????????????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

[ajturbo]

I reckon if you buy into this new age PC parenting bullshit then you deserve weak spoilt kids. Shouldn't need a TV program to point it out.

I have noticed when I'm out with my boys I'm the only dad daring their kids to climb shit and then jump off it.

Getting them to race each other down steep hills is always a setup for a face plant and some chuckles.

I had them at a local park, They were tearing around, wrestling, rolling down the hills, They drew a crowd of kids (clean as a whistle) and parents who stood to the side watching them. Nearly made me sick.

I also tell my kids they suck at stuff when they lose, The oldest one did try that crap on me about how everyone wins, I shot that down quick, One winner son, everyone else is the loser.

you the MAN!!!

[Ms Piggy]

But but but...doesn't this go all against the Official Social Workers Creed? Could you ever admit to admiring this and then hope to get a job with CYF?

It's an interesting comment Pete but I don't believe it goes against the SW Creed at all....well not mine anyway! And cos I don't work for CYF I don't know what their overall beliefs are, but the CYF social workers I know I think would agree.

[Ms Piggy]

I reckon if you buy into this new age PC parenting bullshit then you deserve weak spoilt kids. Shouldn't need a TV program to point it out.

What Nigel Latta was saying is that all the 'over praising" stuff was an attempt to make sure kids have good self-esteem - so the intentions were good but what it's done is lead to a whole lot of young people (Generation Y) with a "the world owes me a living" attitude.