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Thread: OK, fess up - who was it?

  1. #16
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    In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

    On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop; 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around'; he stated in a telephone interview.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose; cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence

    'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin'?

    'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin? Shit .... is it midnight already?'
    I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I always was.

  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    That reminds me... Where is Dean?
    Shit, you got there first.

    Explains why hs hasn't been online lately.
    Quote Originally Posted by rachprice View Post
    Jrandom, You are such a woman hating cunt, if you weren't such a misogynist bastard you might have a better luck with women!

  3. #18
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    Been discussing this with a couple of mates whilst the BBQ heats up,all in our 40s and laughed hard when one said "i dont blame the cunt have you seen the state of most 18 year old chicks these days?better to fuck a Donkey than the Sperm Whales on offer".
    Be the person your dog thinks you are...

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    A 16-year-old youth has appeared in court charged with bestiality after allegedly having sex with a donkey ....

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ef=emailfriend

    Rumor has it he used it as a diversion as he didn't want to be seen riding a Hyosung.
    He haw.......he haw.....he haw.............



    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DangerousBastard View Post
    btw, don't knock it until you tried it.. :
    Meanwhile - in Edgecumbe - PedoDonkey is on the prowl.


  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by 98tls View Post
    Been discussing this with a couple of mates whilst the BBQ heats up,all in our 40s and laughed hard when one said "i dont blame the cunt have you seen the state of most 18 year old chicks these days?better to fuck a Donkey than the Sperm Whales on offer".
    Yeah your mate was right, there's slim pickings out there at the moment LOL. Better off with the donkey than the average 18yr old chick...

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Meanwhile - in Edgecumbe - PedoDonkey is on the prowl.
    You owe me half a glass of coke you bastard
    Quote Originally Posted by Mully
    The mind boggles.

    Unless you were pillioning the sheep - which is more innocent I suppose (but no less baffling)

  8. #23
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    You must watch Freddy Got Fingered. Have a toke or slurp or whatever tickles your fancy first.

    Google "freddy got fingered horse scene" if you must

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyryder View Post
    He haw.......he haw.....he haw.............



    Skyryder
    more like:- he whore,... he whore,...he whore.....


    "...you meet the weirdest people riding a Guzzi !!..."

  10. #25
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    He haw to know better than to take it in to the middle of the reserve. You need the goal posts to tie it to. That's basic bestiality 101. Jeez. Next thing they'll report is that he didn't even have gumboots on for the aftermatch sheep.

    Kids these days don't have fucking clue.

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Berries View Post
    He haw to know better than to take it in to the middle of the reserve. You need the goal posts to tie it to. That's basic bestiality 101. Jeez. Next thing they'll report is that he didn't even have gumboots on for the aftermatch sheep.

    Kids these days don't have fucking clue.
    Nah man, that would be ass rape and that is just wrong. Unless the donkey is into role play... As for the aftermatch sheep - I think the Velcro gloves are more important than the gumboots. Something for ewe to mule over.

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    A 16-year-old youth has appeared in court charged with bestiality after allegedly having sex with a donkey ....
    I'm surprised it even got noticed or any one thought to ring the police - pretty common in the south Island I would've thought
    Lifes Just one big ride - buckle up or hang on

  13. #28
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    He was obviously a hearing impaired biker. He was told to "go ride a buell" but misheard as "go ride a mule".
    Quote Originally Posted by FlangMaster
    I had a strange dream myself. You know that game some folk play on the streets where they toss coins at the wall and what not? In my dream they were tossing my semi hardened stool at the wall. I shit you not.

  14. #29
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    I wonder if he was bailed to a stable enviroment?

  15. #30
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    Sex with a donkey? Disgusting.

    I guess if he tried oral sex first it could have been really messy!

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