
Originally Posted by
aprilia_RS250
INSTRUCTION MANUAL: HOW TO GET COUGARS IN AUCKLAND IF YOU'RE A BIKER (W/O BUYING 'EM BOOZE)
Get on your bike and ride it to Ponsonby after 11pm, park outside any of the cougar laden bars, remember to bring a spare helmet.
If your mate is a biker bring him along, you'll need him
Be witty and charming to all the cougars that approach you. There will be lots! Hence your biker mate coming along and taking some load off ya
They'll be drooling over you because cougars want to all "born to be wild" and that's what bikes represent
The bike will probably be the main conversation point
Be nice and offer them a quick ride up then down the road, 90% of time they'll really want to. Evaluate if they're too pissed so there is no risk of them yakking/falling off.
Make the ride quick and exciting then kick them off and grab their number.
If you surpass this stage they'll either tell ya to ride them (pun?) straight home by where they would have already decided what your nickname will be, what song they will put on in order to drown out sex noises, if they'll show you their sex toy collection and if you're really lucky what they have in the fridge for breakfast the next morning.
Enjoy the experience, you'll learn the technique of "flicking the bean" and "smashing it hard" and to top it off the eggs on toast the next morning will be a great energy top up.
Sweet mother of god I'm getting myself a sidecar!!!
DUCATI ------- A real bike in a sea of shit!
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