Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Kiss of life for your dog...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    17th April 2006 - 05:39
    Bike
    Various things
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    14,429

    Kiss of life for your dog...

    http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-sto...-kiss-of-life/

    As I mentioned in the comments bit of the story, what do ya think he'd do if his dog was constipated?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    25th March 2007 - 12:04
    Bike
    SPEED TRIPLE
    Location
    LA LA LAND
    Posts
    1,365
    Quote Originally Posted by Crasherfromwayback View Post
    what do ya think he'd do if his dog was constipated?
    Nowhere near as dodgy as what you would do I am sure

    No body move... I dropped my brain

  3. #3
    Join Date
    15th February 2005 - 15:34
    Bike
    Katanasaurus Rex
    Location
    The Gates of Delirium
    Posts
    9,020
    Our last dog had a problem one day where his dick wouldn't retract back inside him.

    After a while we rang the vet who explained that when a dog's dick is out for a prolonged period it dries out and then can have trouble retracting.

    She suggested I massage it back in using a bit of vegetable oil.

    From that day on I'm sure that dog looked at me with a glint in his eye every time I walked into the room.
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	scan0014.jpg 
Views:	9 
Size:	251.9 KB 
ID:	250266

  4. #4
    Join Date
    9th June 2009 - 08:23
    Bike
    76 HONDA XL125
    Location
    SOUTHLAND
    Posts
    1,004
    Quote Originally Posted by Katman View Post
    Our last dog had a problem one day where his dick wouldn't retract back inside him.

    After a while we rang the vet who explained that when a dog's dick is out for a prolonged period it dries out and then can have trouble retracting.

    She suggested I massage it back in using a bit of vegetable oil.

    From that day on I'm sure that dog looked at me with a glint in his eye every time I walked into the room.
    There are things said here that that probably couldn't be said any other place...........lol

    In saying that though, I have heard the same thing happening to a horse, the poor bastard was dragging its junk over gorse bushes for three days the dried blood preventing a dignified retraction.
    "Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it."
    -Lou Holtz



  5. #5
    Join Date
    6th June 2008 - 17:24
    Bike
    The Vixen - K8 GSXR600
    Location
    Behind keybd in The Tron
    Posts
    6,518
    Quote Originally Posted by Katman View Post
    Our last dog had a problem one day where his dick wouldn't retract back inside him.

    After a while we rang the vet who explained that when a dog's dick is out for a prolonged period it dries out and then can have trouble retracting.

    She suggested I massage it back in using a bit of vegetable oil.

    From that day on I'm sure that dog looked at me with a glint in his eye every time I walked into the room.
    Geez Katman, no wonder the damn thing looked sideways at you after that lot..!
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

  6. #6
    Join Date
    17th April 2006 - 05:39
    Bike
    Various things
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    14,429
    Quote Originally Posted by Katman View Post
    From that day on I'm sure that dog looked at me with a glint in his eye every time I walked into the room.
    I bet! That reminds me of a story.

    A guy with a lifestyle farm, had his ram drop dead right when his ewes needing servicing. He frantically called every place to see if he could buy another, but everyone was sold out, and his neighbours one was too shagged out to be of any help. His neighbour told him what he'd done one year in desperation, so with nothing to loose, he thought he'd give it a go.

    So he loaded the ewes up on the back of his ute, and took them over the back of the property so no-one could see him shagging them.

    In the morning he asked his wife to look out the window to see if the ewes were acting differently (as the do when they're pregnant!).

    "Not that I can tell" she said. So once she'd gone for the day, he once more loaded them up and did his bit. This went on for two weeks, and by then he was totally shattered.

    Then one morning, when he was ready to give it away, he once more asked his wife to check on them. "Are the ewes behaving differently this morning Love??"

    "Yes they are Dear"

    "What are they doing?" he asked.

    It's the oddest thing I've ever seen she says.

    "They're all on the back of the ute bar one, and she's in the cab tooting the horn!!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    17th June 2010 - 16:44
    Bike
    bandit
    Location
    Bay of Plenty
    Posts
    2,885
    Quote Originally Posted by Katman View Post
    Our last dog had a problem one day where his dick wouldn't retract back inside him.

    After a while we rang the vet who explained that when a dog's dick is out for a prolonged period it dries out and then can have trouble retracting.

    She suggested I massage it back in using a bit of vegetable oil.

    From that day on I'm sure that dog looked at me with a glint in his eye every time I walked into the room.
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	scan0014.jpg 
Views:	9 
Size:	251.9 KB 
ID:	250266


    Naaa ... even the dog knows you're a bit of a wanker
    "So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •