Work - what next?

[ruaphu]

Work for ACC

Or Winz



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[Oakie]

Suddenly I feel better about my 'career' ..... .

Well that's me doing my HR job then ... here to make people feel better

I already want to stab you

My HR half wants to know how long you've had these feelings for and the HSE half thinks that we may have to do a hazard report on that first so we can eliminate, isolate or minimise the danger

Every time I see or hear the term "HR" I immediately and automatically think "Human Remains"...

I always try to make sure that when I'm working 'the human remains' (see what I did there?)

Do you communicate in that weird "HR" lingo that nobody understands?

Nah, I leave that to the boss. Infact when she asked me to evaluate off the top of my head someones chances of surviving a disciplinary process yesterday, I just said "She's fucked". Plain enough?

Fuck you.... .

Would you like to come into my office for a special HR hug? I'll bring the tissues.

[Kickaha]

Nah, I leave that to the boss. Infact when she asked me to evaluate off the top of my head someones chances of surviving a disciplinary process yesterday, I just said "She's fucked". Plain enough?

Was that before or after you started the process? you know you're not allowed to pre judge, that's what you bastards always tell us anyway

[R650R]

Whats wrong with insurance, its an easy 100k a year plus company car if your any good at it...

I've tried a few things and gone back to driving just because that where the bulk of my experience lays and its easy to get the big dollars. I thought I'd gotten tired of it but really had just gotten tired of rogue employers.
Have now found a highly reputable employer whose core business is not trucks but owns a few for various needs and I've never been happier, plus future prospects are great for other things higher up.

[SPman]

Every time I see or hear the term "HR" I immediately and automatically think "Human Remains"...

Human?????

[Akzle]

start with 'what do i want to do?'

then do that.

Personally, i cant reccomend enough, being an alcoholic hippy and having whores for lunch. The hours are, like, whenever man. The fishing is excellent. The boosh is good.

[DMNTD:Me]

Car sales

[Banditbandit]

What do you want to do when you leave your current job Allan?

My response: I’ve been working since I was 16 I’ve done enough is apparently not valid.

So considering my ‘career’ (ahem) – a long period in Cartography (map making for those not fluid in French) firstly with the Government and secondly in the private sector. The later period literally making millions for the owner who is one of the biggest fuckwits I’ve ever met. Cartography has been followed by my current career in Insurance.

It occurs to me that I’ve spent most of my adult life pissing people off.

Mapping by nature, though in theory a wonderful product helping humanity, in reality just causes untold arguments. If you have ever been in a relationship you have experienced the ‘how can you not read that map’ argument – heck even the cell phone maps cause arguments – just recently I caught myself telling the voice on the phone that ‘I cannot turn left as there is yet another friggen set of friggen roadworks you stupid @#%$!. On the positive side it is now a small touch screen most people hurl abuse at not your family or loved one.

Paper maps – dead ducks now – good for wiping ones arse when caught short on a road trip but otherwise a dinosaur. Note to self – good move exiting afore mentioned fuckwits employment.

Insurance – yeah it’s a given I’ll be pissing off someone despite my noble intentions to assist them. I do work with some of the nicest people I have met though :-)

So what next? There must be a market for wine tasters surely?

Alternatively pick a company that caused arguments – parking infringements? Council? IRD? Airport baggage collector? Stripper? (he’ll be pissed off when she comes home covered in baby oil….) Real Estate? (nah – I’m too honest).

Feel free to post your suggestion

What is this !!!! Mid-life crisis??? Get the fuck out and go for a very long ride ...

Or how about Staff Training Officer in a brothel ..

[mashman]

Just walk the Earth man.

[TheDemonLord]

Super Model
Hair Dresser
Fashion Guru

[awa355]

Motorcycle salesman???? Thought not.

[Akzle]

Super Model
Hair Dresser
Fashion Guru

zoolander meets zohan....

[Voltaire]

Start a Church, no tax as they are non prophet...er profit organisations. Being a former Cartographer you should not need to wander around in the desert for 40 years, finding a bridge would be easier than water parting, and less effort than Indiana Jones went thru to find the Holy Grail.

[James Deuce]

Draw a map to a woman's heart and you'll be set.

[Stirts]

Draw a map to a woman's heart and you'll be set.

You don't need a map for that...all you need to do is take aim kneeling