I need a wife.

**jasonu** · 24th March 2015, 10:32

Originally Posted by Swoop

Ivana Humpalot has to be the best parody of a Bond girl name as well.

Oh Behave!

Alotta Fagina.

**madbikeboy** · 24th March 2015, 22:40

Originally Posted by gremlin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mahogany

lmfao. 123456

**yokel** · 25th March 2015, 20:26

Originally Posted by madbikeboy

lmfao. 123456

This could be helpful?

**madbikeboy** · 26th March 2015, 20:59

Originally Posted by yokel

This could be helpful?

Awesome. 1234

**mstriumph** · 28th March 2015, 20:48

Originally Posted by awa355

Just had our 40th, I think we are closer to each other now than ever before. We got a piece of advice years ago, 'Do what's right for your other half and everything will work out'

but ... but... what if I don't WANT to shoot myself?

**mstriumph** · 28th March 2015, 20:50

Originally Posted by Gremlin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahogany

**huff3r** · 29th March 2015, 17:52

Getting a wife is a brilliant idea.. Two words. Stag do.

**Edbear** · 29th March 2015, 18:46

Getting a wife is the easy part. Keeping her is the tricky bit.

**madbikeboy** · 1st April 2015, 20:46

Originally Posted by Edbear

Getting a wife is the easy part. Keeping her is the tricky bit.

Apparently, it's easy to get a wife. You can order them off the inter web. Like toasters.

**Maha** · 1st April 2015, 20:48

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

**madbikeboy** · 1st April 2015, 20:48

Originally Posted by mstriumph

That sound you heard was that joke flying past his head so fast, there was a sonic boom as the air rushed to fill the vacuum. Or maybe, it was a double fake sarcasm play.

Now my head hurts thinking about the possibilities. How come no one has volunteered a wife yet?

**madbikeboy** · 1st April 2015, 20:51

Originally Posted by Maha

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

Funny story - I kept telling a woman I was playing hide the sausage with to turn off her toaster if she was going to fish toast out of it with a fork. She rolled her eyes at me the first few times, and then one day she learned her lesson in a pretty visual and painful way. It turns out women don't like being told what to do, and they hate the guy being right even more.

**madbikeboy** · 1st April 2015, 20:52

Originally Posted by Maha

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

How's life going south of the border anyhow? Have you started cow tipping for fun yet?

**Edbear** · 1st April 2015, 21:03

Originally Posted by madbikeboy

Funny story - I kept telling a woman I was playing hide the sausage with to turn off her toaster if she was going to fish toast out of it with a fork. She rolled her eyes at me the first few times, and then one day she learned her lesson in a pretty visual and painful way. It turns out women don't like being told what to do, and they hate the guy being right even more.

Yup! Especially the part about the guy being right. Also, if anything goes wrong, it doesn't matter who's fault it is, it is always the guys fault.