Custom Laptops

**Big Dog** · 17th September 2015, 18:43

Originally Posted by mashman

Tis as I thought, but hey, so long as it'll allow me to script indexes, all should be well with the world. Will be giving Azure the once over in the next few weeks. Chur for the info.

True... then they can spend money on buying in DBA's to sort out developer mess lol.

And that is how I feed my family.

**Big Dog** · 17th September 2015, 18:49

Originally Posted by Gremlin

You do need to pay attention to the SQL setup, otherwise a badly setup one will be a dog. I remember looking at a server (not a client, but they were casting about) and with 2-3 SQL instances the machine was using all 24GB ish of memory plus that again in paging and was as slow as a dog.

Best to limit the memory a DB gets (or something... I don't admin DBs as a daily job, but clients have them and there isn't anyone else - so it's a crash course in SQL) and it will actually work better.

Yep, by default Microsoft prioritises sql over the os... leave it long enough and the the page files starts flapping... leave it a bit longer and the os freezes.

If you are talking OS 20+GB of RAM and SQL is the only app served from the box you should try limiting your swap file to 6gb... much faster all around. Only really problematic if you also have IIS or you are on a users workstation. Worst case roll back the change if you dont like it but your gui if you have one will be much snappier and and if not then you will notice less I/o in general to your c:\.

**mashman** · 17th September 2015, 18:50

Originally Posted by Big Dog

And that is how I feed my family.

Glad to be of service

**Big Dog** · 17th September 2015, 18:53

Originally Posted by mashman

Glad to be of service

If you really want to ignore Bogan et al, Pizza Hutt do Custom cases.

**mashman** · 17th September 2015, 19:15

Originally Posted by Big Dog

If you really want to ignore Bogan et al, Pizza Hutt do Custom cases.

bwaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa@ignoring bogan. Is that because I haven't instantly rushed out and done what he said instead of weighing up my options (all of his input included) and doing what I want given that I know my experience, time available and technical ability? If so, then yeah, he can get fucked for being his consistently incorrect and presumptuous self

I saw that pic yesterday and lol'd appropriately... whilst inside, I have to say, I was marvelling at its genius.

**Akzle** · 17th September 2015, 19:17

ahhh. microsoft. how shit thou art. (manually set static pagefile size for least BSOD lulz, as for setting windows' swappiness..... ahh fuck, just upgrade to an operating system that isn't utter utter shit.)

buy a mac and install windows then. dick.

**Akzle** · 17th September 2015, 19:19

also.

make yourself a server farm and get it to do the thinking, rsh into it from your craptop and set it to compile, then go have coffee... or whatever it is you weird english pricks drink...

this works from anywhere with internets...

**bogan** · 17th September 2015, 19:23

Originally Posted by mashman

Is that because I haven't instantly rushed out and done what he said instead of weighing up my options.

It's probably because you are still bitching about them not making what you want so you can make what you want with it

Feel free to build a pizza box laptop for twice the price of one with the same components just to show how good you are at ignoring me

**Akzle** · 17th September 2015, 19:29

Originally Posted by Gremlin

Therefore network > users.

you're syntax is gay.

**mashman** · 17th September 2015, 19:32

Originally Posted by bogan

It's probably because you are still bitching about them not making what you want so you can make what you want with it

Feel free to build a pizza box laptop for twice the price of one with the same components just to show how good you are at ignoring me

Sorry, twice in 5 pages really must get on yer tits eh... sucks to have such a short memory as yours, else you may have seen the humourous side.

bwaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa... I'm not out to prove anything or indeed ignore you. Wonder if husababe will add you to the narcissists of KB list.

**mashman** · 17th September 2015, 19:34

Originally Posted by Akzle

also.

make yourself a server farm and get it to do the thinking, rsh into it from your craptop and set it to compile, then go have coffee... or whatever it is you weird english pricks drink...

this works from anywhere with internets...

I only need a laptop... and I do a great line in english teabags iffen yer interested... a couple of dunks should shut you the fuck up

**husaberg** · 17th September 2015, 19:38

Originally Posted by mashman

Sorry, twice in 5 pages really must get on yer tits eh... sucks to have such a short memory as yours, else you may have seen the humourous side.

bwaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa... I'm not out to prove anything or indeed ignore you. Wonder if husababe will add you to the narcissists of KB list.

Bogan has his own designation.

Anyway anyone would think you were a pom with all ya that whinging.

**Virago** · 17th September 2015, 19:41

Originally Posted by Akzle

you're syntax is gay.

Your grammar is gayer.

**bogan** · 17th September 2015, 19:41

Originally Posted by mashman

Sorry, twice in 5 pages really must get on yer tits eh... sucks to have such a short memory as yours, else you may have seen the humourous side.

bwaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa... I'm not out to prove anything or indeed ignore you. Wonder if husababe will add you to the narcissists of KB list.

Just round that shit up to the whole thread eh. It's is a little humorous, but mostly just tragic as you continue to lament things that are not done the way you think (through ignorance) that they should be.

Isn't that one of those things where caring about what's on the list puts you on it?

Originally Posted by husaberg

Bogan has his own designation.

Well as you long as you didn't capitalise it there too...