Two years on

[hXc]

Hate posting a thread like this, but makes me feel better.
Here goes...

Two years ago today, my best friend killed himself.
Today hasn't been good for me. I had to work, and I didn't feel as though I was pulling my weight either, which I feel bad about. I got up and just knew that it wasn't a normal day. I had this sick feeling inside me and it hasn't left.

For those that haven't experienced something like this, I sincerely wish you don't have to. For those who have, hang in there. It's hard, and it always will be, but there's absolutely nothing we, or anyone else can do to change what happened.

I hate Meeckal for what he did, and I'm sure he knows that. But as I said in the one year thread, I can't go on living, hating someone who's dead.

Thanks to all of those people on KB who've been there when I've been down. Even if you just said something nice, it all helps.

RIP man.

[Ragingrob]

It's a hard and bumpy road getting through things like that...all I can say is that I'm sorry for what happened and hope things turn out sunny and start to improve sometime in the near future...Sorry to hear what happened. Best wishes .

[Stickchick]

I know exactly how you are feeling and its not the most pleasant but chin up and if you need to talk to someone you know where I live and also you know that any of the HB Kbers are there for you....ALWAYS

[WarlockNZ]

sounds like someone needs a hug.

suicide is never an option and i'm sorry to say it, but it's the cowards way out.

I've had a few friends die, but only one took his own life and if he was alive today .. i would kick his ass for putting his family through that kind of pain.

It's takes a special kind of person to ask for help, but taking your own life is never the answer.

That being said ... i am sorry for your loss and you have my sympathy, remember the good times mate ... i find that helps.

[MSTRS:Me]

You never have to 'weather the storm' alone. We know this is a hard thing for you to cope with, but it will get less painful as the years pass.

[yungatart]

........

[Chickadee]

big hugs Zac,

can't speak from experience of loosing a mate in such a sad way, he must have had his reasons - shame he didn't seek help for the turmoil inside that pushed him over the edge.

Hope you have some good memories to think of Meeckal in a better light, I'm sure he'd rather you remembered the good things instead of the way things ended.

Lots of love & hugs
Christine

[Colapop]

To lose a friend is heartbreaking, especially like this. To forget them is unforgivable. Never forget the person that they were and the smiles that they gave you. The pain does lessen but they will always live on if you keep their memory close to your heart.

I miss my bro, but I will never forget him.

Ride free Jeff.

[hXc]

shame he didn't seek help for the turmoil inside that pushed him over the edge.

He did.
He was talking to the councillor at school and had been to the mental health part of the Hawkes Bay hospital too. But the guy they needed to see was away at the time...
He contacted Meeckal's parents two days after he committed suicide. Meeckal's mum's reply; "Too fucking late now."

Kind of goes to show that NZ's mental health department doesn't really cut it.
He was doing all the right things.

[ynot slow]

Feel for ya,worked with a guy who would get severe asthma,finished work one Friday and as it was before my trade cert 3rd qual exam,decided to have a few beers and go home around 8ish and study.About 25 mins after I left,another worker called into the pub to say our coleague had died whilst having a bath.Found out on the Saturday morning just as I was going off for exam,not the best thing to happen prior to exam,still managed to pass (just),he was happy as usual,and to think we had been enjoying an ale 3 hours before,discussing exams etc,as he was doing 2nd qual as well the next day,not great to go to work on Monday and not see his cheeky smile,still think about it even now nearly 27yrs ago,he was only 20 or so at time.

[NZsarge]

sounds like someone needs a hug.

suicide is never an option and i'm sorry to say it, but it's the cowards way out.

I've had a few friends die, but only one took his own life and if he was alive today .. i would kick his ass for putting his family through that kind of pain.

It's takes a special kind of person to ask for help, but taking your own life is never the answer.

That being said ... i am sorry for your loss and you have my sympathy, remember the good times mate ... i find that helps.

First of all to hXc, well it's pretty much all getting said here mate. All I can say it's a sad thing to here and I wish you had'nt had to gone through that.


Mr Warlock, you are correct in saying if your friend were to come back he would deserve a serve for how what he did to those who loved him. Suicide is so very selfish. But let me ask you, have you ever been on the edge like that? If you had I dont think you would feel it's cowardly coz let me tell you from someone who has been down that VERY VERY dark path you dont know what the fuck you are talking about!
Servere depression is clinical ei: the constant depression eventually causes a chemical imbalance that is nigh on impossible too fight without the correct help, some people get that help in time and sadly some dont, no one is to blame for it but there it is.
Dont come back at me and tell me bullshit because i've been there.

[Chickadee]

I think what Warlocks getting at with the coward comment is all the shit that happens afterwards to the family and friends which I'm sure hXc know all too well about.

I've been there to the dark place, and come out to the light - sadly NZ has a very high youth suicide rate. Looking at the depression thread I'm sure many of us could well have been amongst them.

Just a real shame that Meekal and his family didn't get the help they were desperate for when it was needed. A waste of a young mans life and future, let alone the damage to the family and friends.

[kevfromcoro]

Think most of us have been down that road
This is sad.......someone close to u killing themselves
Seems to be a fine line,,next thing a happy friend is gone
Hard going..my feelings are with u.
Not your fault

KEV

[Cache Wraith]

Hang in there hXc. Tough thing to go through and this concept may be tough for you to grasp, but every experience we have we call forth ourselves. Every experience, especially ones as difficult as this, provide learning and growth. It was time for your friend to go and although it seems he took the easy way out (hard on family and mates) the truth is he has provided everyone left behind with a wonderful opportunity to grow in the experience. When this understanding dawns then you'll only have love for your comrade who I am sure is with you and looks to protect you and has nothing but love in his heart for you.

[Mom]

To lose a friend is heartbreaking, especially like this. To forget them is unforgivable. Never forget the person that they were and the smiles that they gave you. The pain does lessen but they will always live on if you keep their memory close to your heart.

I miss my bro, but I will never forget him.

Ride free Jeff.

Thanks Col........Zac, I am so sorry you lost your friend mate, I know it sounds contrite, but time and distance will help make the pain of losing a mate a little easier to bear. Suicide is a shocking thing, and not something we need to debate here. Take your time love, know that there are plenty of people out here sending their love your way.
Mom