I got in the crap this arvo...

**Donor** · 16th October 2007, 15:24

No really, in the crap!

Standing at the back of the station, an ambulance drove over a sewerage manhole cover and the thing popped up.

So I wandered over, and lo! there was a stream of poo and paper flowing past.

I shoved the lid back on with my foot and the other officer walked out to see what the hell had happened.

I told her about the lid popping up, and told her it was bloody odd, that they really aren't meant to do that.

So I stomped the lid with my left foot... and the bloody thing swiveled, leaving a big hole just waiting for me to fall down.

My leg started heading down, and 95kg of me was most supportive in its journey. The front of my ankle took out the front of the hole, just as my knee got to hole level, the lid came round again and smacked the top of my knee, and I landed on the edge of the hole with the side of my thigh, all my weight resting on it. Fortunately, my left elbow arrested my fall, and I stopped about 8 inches before landing in the joyous flow below.

After a few seconds of cursing, swearing and some words that I am not entirely sure exist in common language, I pulled my leg out and proceeded to curse and swear some more.

Upshot is, I have a golf ball sized lump on my ankle, an extra knee cap and the biggest abrasion/contusion near the top of my thigh I have ever seen.

Walking hurts, driving is impossible and the beer hasn't begun to work yet.

Lesson: Don't trust those goddamn metal circles of doom folks - or you may end up in the shit like I did!

(Funny aside - other officer freaked out when I disappeared, upon seeing I was not dead, I told her to call an ambulance... she got her cellphone out and was about to dial... of course it proves that laughter is NOT the best medicine, cos it still bloody hurts!)

**klingon** · 16th October 2007, 15:31

ROFL!

Great story! A shame it had to hurt though.

**Donor** · 16th October 2007, 15:33

Originally Posted by klingon

ROFL!

Great story! A shame it had to hurt though.

Pissed off that it didn't happen to someone else... I would LOVE to have seen it, sort of thing comedy writers can only dream of!

...well, and write of I suppose...

**gijoe1313** · 16th October 2007, 15:36

And there but for the grace of small mercies go I ...

So, moral of story is no good deed goes unpunished?

**Coldrider** · 16th October 2007, 15:45

There was a dickhead locally here 10 to 15 years ago who was popping the lids of ones on the roads in town. But the whole think mysteriously faded away, before anyone was hurt. Bikers had to keep an eye out, especially morning shifters.

**Donor** · 16th October 2007, 15:58

Originally Posted by Coldrider

There was a dickhead locally here 10 to 15 years ago who was popping the lids of ones on the roads in town. But the whole think mysteriously faded away, before anyone was hurt. Bikers had to keep an eye out, especially morning shifters.

I have instinctively avoided these things whether on 4 wheels or 2... now I know my paranoia has been justified - you just don't expect them to be able to swivel open like that!

**peasea** · 16th October 2007, 16:01

Isn't that called 'getting your own back'?

**Coldrider** · 16th October 2007, 16:02

Originally Posted by Donor

I have instinctively avoided these things whether on 4 wheels or 2... now I know my paranoia has been justified - you just don't expect them to be able to swivel open like that!

Me too, but then they widened the roads which put them mid lane.

**Donor** · 16th October 2007, 16:08

Originally Posted by Coldrider

Me too, but then they widened the roads which put them mid lane.

My age may be causing my memory to fail, but didn't they used to make a point of putting manholes in the middle of the road, to AVOID traffic going over them?

Anyway... my bottle of anesthetic is empty, time to hobble to the dispensary for a top-up...

**Mikkel** · 16th October 2007, 16:16

Be careful in your choice of anesthetics - we don't want you to fuck your liver (and it's a nasty way to go as well).

But bummer - I've tried having ankles and knees like that before hurts like shit now. Then it will get better and then it will hurt even more when bruise moves down to your foot via gravity. Perhaps consult a physiotherapist - I had sonic and heat treatments of my swelling to help the tissue relax.

Must have been a sight though!

**Donor** · 16th October 2007, 16:20

Originally Posted by Mikkel

But bummer - I've tried having ankles and knees like that before hurts like shit now. Then it will get better and then it will hurt even more when bruise moves down to your foot via gravity. Perhaps consult a physiotherapist - I had sonic and heat treatments of my swelling to help the tissue relax.

One of thew Advanced Paramedics wanted to run me up to Auckland Hospital - bugger that, I go there enough times a day to know what I'd be in for!

Originally Posted by Mikkel

Must have been a sight though!

I know - one of those days I wish we had CCTV at the back of the station, could have made a fortune from some random "funniest videos" program!

And fear not, the anesthesia is being administered slowly... that is, I can't walk so fast, it takes me a while to get out to the garage and my eldest is too damn short to reach the top shelf of the fridge

**Toaster** · 16th October 2007, 16:39

Originally Posted by Donor

Lesson: Don't trust those goddamn metal circles of doom folks - or you may end up in the shit like I did!

(Funny aside - other officer freaked out when I disappeared, upon seeing I was not dead, I told her to call an ambulance... she got her cellphone out and was about to dial... of course it proves that laughter is NOT the best medicine, cos it still bloody hurts!)

Mate that is worth bling and very funny. Thanks for lightening my day!

Those damn man-hole are bad enough for bikers riding over them and going for a slide, let alone it doing that to you!

Keep up the good work on the streets and keep outta the poo next time!

**Bren** · 16th October 2007, 16:42

Ya know...one of these days ya will look back and laugh....Great post dude....Bling awarded!

**Laava** · 16th October 2007, 16:45

Yep that was a great story! Thanks for sharing that, by the way, if you are ever up on a scaffold and have a spare barrel of bricks to lower down.........I'm sure you know the rest!!!