Womans perspective needed

**ninjac** · 14th November 2007, 11:04

Hi Biker Angels.

EDIT: Thanks for the advise. For privacy of parties involved all posts by me are deleted.

**Stickchick** · 14th November 2007, 11:10

To me there shouldn't be an issue at all. Unless of course the guy acts immature or something like that. I know a few people that have great relationships and the biggest gap I know is 11 years with the female being the oldest.

If you are both happy what does age matter? You are both consenting adults and looking at the ages, are in realisation that you know what you want in life

**judecatmad** · 14th November 2007, 11:14

Originally Posted by Stickchick

If you are both happy what does age matter?

+1 to that

**sunhuntin** · 14th November 2007, 11:16

Originally Posted by judecatmad

+1 to that

and another +1.

my first major relationship, i was 19. he was 54. our respective maturities, i would place somewhere in the 30s. most of time, i forgot about the age gap. when i did remember, it hit me like a ton of bricks, but faded fast. i loved, and still love, him with all my heart. but him being canadian, and me being kiwi, the distance is just too big.

since him, i have dated guys ranging in age from early 20s [my age] through to 30s or 40s. all of them were fun for a while, but in end, it was a waste of time and effort. im now "somewhere" [not sure where yet!] with a 50 something, and happier than ive been in a long time.

**Joni** · 14th November 2007, 11:20

I agree with my fellow Biker Angels… age is only a problem if you make it one.

However, I can recall my mother and my “step father” – not sure if I can call him that seeing he was younger than me… the age was not an issue when they were young and had just met… but when she started approaching her mid to late fifties, then it became a little tougher.

I still don’t think it’s a problem though… they made it one and that’s why it fell apart.

The decision is yours.

**ninjac** · 14th November 2007, 11:26

EDIT: Deleted for privacy reasons.

**NighthawkNZ:Me** · 14th November 2007, 11:27

When I was errr younger... 23ish I went out with a 40 year old lady, (was for about 3 years) ... she didn't act 40, more like a 20 and me acting like a 30 year old counter balanced it all

I know of heaps where the guy is the younger of the two parties... ranging from 1 year to somewhere near 15...

Personally age shouldn't matter (why should it), as long as both parties are happy, love and care for each other etc etc etc, blah blah blah, rant rave...

**Grahameeboy** · 14th November 2007, 11:30

Age is just a number................

**Joni** · 14th November 2007, 11:33

Originally Posted by ninjac

If the male proclaims his love, but the older female can't get passed the age gap.

Look at my first post - age is only an issue if one or both parties make it a problem.

It seems she has a problem with it.
Sort that out the core issue, before you start changing your living arrangements...

**vifferman** · 14th November 2007, 11:35

My sister's married to a guy 10 or 12 years her junior, and my father-in-law is 12 years older than my mother-in-law. It's all good.

**TLMAN** · 14th November 2007, 11:38

Id sooner have two 25 year olds than a 50 year old

**Joni** · 14th November 2007, 11:39

Another point, I don’t think a woman who is nearly 40 years old would appreciate her “story” being told on the internet either….

Quite a few men have done that one on KB… it immediately lands a big cross next to their name, it’s a no no in my books anyway.

**judecatmad** · 14th November 2007, 11:41

My first 'boy'friend was 34 when I was 18 and I never saw any problem with the age gap. Some people did, but that was theirs to deal with.

However, I think what you're getting at is the female partner being older than the male partner (somehow deemed less socially acceptable in some circles, goodness knows why..).

My hubby is almost 3 years younger than me and his parents saw it as an issue in the early days because I was a lot more settled than he was. They somehow saw me as cramping his style and forcing him to grow up before he was ready.

If you are both in the same head space and want the same sorts of things out of life, the gap really should make no difference.

Anyone who has an issue with your relationship should pull their heads in and get over it - it's YOUR relationship, not theirs. If you want it to work, it will. But...if you're already questioning whether or not the gap is too large, maybe it is.....